The crack of thunder reminds me of being with her in that cave. The desire to reach out and touch her is nearly overwhelming.
When the serving maid takes away my bowl and slams down a tankard of ale, apologizing for it slipping from her hand, Aedre and I exchange a glance.
“’Tis still raining,” I comment.
“Aye.”
“Can you stay or will your father worry?”
I refill my mug, waiting for her to answer.
“He will know I’ve taken shelter. I can stay.”
I still don’t move.
“Do you want to stay? The other day you said you no longer wished to see me.”
I’ve thought of nothing else these past few days—the glances Aedre stole when she didn’t think I was looking, the feeling of connection we had, and the way she left me in that cave without a backward glance.
A woman like no other.
“I said ’twas not necessary for you to retain my services.” Aedre nods to the mug. “Nothing more.”
I fill her mug, hope swelling inside me.
Perhaps I should feel guilty for enjoying myself so thoroughly with Meria on the verge of collapse, but I push such ominous thoughts aside.
I may not have time for a woman such as Aedre back at d’Almerita, but for the few days I remain in Murwood End? I savor the thought of more pleasant conversations with this extraordinary woman.
Even if I’d prefer much, much more.
Chapter Fifteen Aedre
It’s dark now, and the rain has stopped. Father no doubt will be looking for me. Though I don’t wish to leave, it is time.
“I will walk you home.”
We stand in front of the Sailor’s Inn, the docks quiet after the storm. I hold onto my skirts in order not to muddy the hem, an effort sure to end in failure.
“I’ve made the journey alone many, many times. ’Tis safe enough for me here.”
None in the village would harm me.
“It may be safe, but still, I would walk you home.”
Father will certainly learn of the time we spent this eve, for enough people saw Vanni and I together that someone is sure to tell him of it. Perhaps he might worry less knowing the commander is an honorable man.
I need no protection, but Father does not always agree.
So I simply nod and lead the way toward the vast darkness that is the Merian Sea. We walk in silence along the water, and I think on what I’ve learned about Vanni this day. His parents’ death and his upbringing at Castle d’Almerita. Three things have become clear this day.
For one, he loves the king as he would a father. The reasons are plain enough, and I’m anxious to speak to Amma about his revelations. She is as mistrustful of King Galfrid as anyone, yet the man Vanni describes is not the monster Kipp believes his father to be.
I’ve also learned my mistrust of all nobles may have been misplaced. I know Vanni will not share my secrets, just as I would never share his.
Last, I now know what desire feels like, not only how it makes people behave. The stirrings I’ve experienced in the past are like ripples in the sea compared to the thunderous waves that now crash within me.
I think of him when I wake and when I lay my head down to sleep. I imagine my hand in his, the dark waves of his hair, or his thick arms encircling me. It’s why I fled from that cave, scared to remain in such close proximity to him. I know how quickly desire can spiral out of control. Many a maid, a babe in her belly, only thought to steal a simple kiss.
“When do you think Aldwine will return?”
The moon shines brightly before us, illuminating our path.
“Soon,” I say, stealing a glance at Vanni. “Though I meant what I said. He will not return to the south with you.”
I say it not to antagonize him, but because it is almost certainly the truth.
“If he does not, I fear for the kingdom.”
“Is Lord Hinton as horrible as the rumors suggest?”
I’ve heard enough over the years from traders to know he would not be an ideal leader.
“When his father, the king’s brother, died, Hinton refused to lay him to rest. Said he’d done him no favors and could rot in hell despite the fact that father and son are very much alike. The man is truly despicable. And yet, the church intends to back him anyway. It’s maddening.”
The sound of water lapping against the docks lulls us back into our companionable silence. Turning away from the water, we walk toward the outer buildings of our small village. When we hired a maidservant a few years ago, my father said he could rest easy, having achieved far more than he’d ever thought possible.
“Is that it there?” He points into the distance.
“Aye.” I stop, contemplating.
“Father would be pleased you’ve accompanied me. However . . .”
We’re just behind the mill, hidden well enough now, but we will be easily seen once we enter the open field. If we are to part ways, now would be the time.
And yet, I’m reluctant for Vanni to leave.
“I will watch you from here,” he says courteously.
“You are not what I expected.” The words leave my lips before I can think better of it.
“Our ways are different, Lady Aedre, but we can teach each other.”
That very statement proves my point. It is exactly the last thing I’d have presumed to hear from a man raised at court to serve a king.
“I’ve met few nobles, and even fewer of your ilk,” I admit.
Thankfully, Vanni does not seem inclined to leave just yet.
“We are not all bad, Aedre.” He says it softly, without censure.
My chest constricts when he takes a step toward me, tall enough that I’m forced to look up. His eyes seem to be pleading for something.
For me to believe his words, that he is not the man I thought him to be?
His lips part, and I realize his
