My frown deepens. “Em, I don’t know what I feel.”
Her gaze drops. “All right,” she says. “I understand. But I’d like you to understand that having a girlfriend, a relationship, isn’t something to fear.”
I think back to my parents. “Yeah. Sure.”
I step out of her reach but can’t quite bring myself to leave the bathroom. I take in her scent. Emme smells just like a cloud might, clean and peaceful.
Too bad I messed her up like I did.
She wraps her head in that cute turban-thing like girls do, pausing as if unsure to ask what she does. “Do you like me, Bren?”
“You know I do, Emme.”
She presses her lips. “I really like you, too. I didn’t know how much…until last night.”
“I get it, Emme. But I don’t do relationships.”
Damn. Here come the images of my parents again, loving on each other like they did, right up until they killed themselves and left me alone.
“It’s not easy for me to have people,” I remind her. “Dan, you and your sisters, you were the first.” I shake my head. “Do you see how I am with the pack? We’re supposed to be bros, but you and me know that’ll never happen.”
“Bren,” she says, her voice growing strained. “There are things you’ve experienced that continue to haunt you, and I’m sorry. But please, don’t let them keep you from enjoying the good things in life.”
“Like a girlfriend?” I offer. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but right now, I’m acting like one.
Emme’s shoulders droop. “I’ll never pressure you into something you don’t want. But if you’re ready for us, I’m ready, too.”
I try to kiss her when she reaches up. In that kiss, I want to tell her that I’m sorry. I want to kiss away the pain I’m causing. I want to show her how important she is and how I don’t really want her to go.
Emme denies me that kiss, turning away to hug me instead. It’s just as well. A kiss from me was where this all started.
It’s what I tell myself. But not kissing Emme feels wrong.
She loosens her grip around me. I hang on. I don’t want to let her go. But I do.
Guys like me, with screwed up pasts, don’t belong with the Emmies of the world.
Right?
* * *
When we sit down to eat, Emme mostly plays with her food, barely taking more than a few bites. No wonder she’s so small.
I fork some sausage and lift it up to her face. “Here, you eat like a bird.”
“Birds actually eat twice their weight,” Dan chimes in.
“Shut up, Dan. I’m trying to keep her alive over here.”
Emme giggles, and Holy God, it’s like music to my ears. Maybe she doesn’t hate me. Maybe everything will go back to normal between us.
She lets me feed her. I do a doubletake when I catch Dan with his jaw practically hitting the table.
I narrow my eyes at him. It’s enough for him to compose himself.
Emme swallows her food and smiles at Dan. “Thank you for lending me your sweatpants, Danny.”
“No problem, Emme,” he says. He motions with his fork. “You’re still swimming in them, but I’m sure they’ll fit you better than anything Bren has.”
I smirk. “That’s because you have those womanly hips, whereas I have a man’s body.”
“These hips help me get where I’m going and that’s good enough for me,” Dan fires back. He wipes his mouth and folds his napkin when he sees Emme is done. “I have to get back to the Den. If you’re ready, Emme, I can drop you off on my way.”
“Don’t even think about it, Dan,” I snarl. “She’s mine. I’m taking her home!”
Both regard me like I’m nuts. Can’t really blame them seeing how I changed from werewolf to raging psycho.
I cough into my napkin. “What I mean is, I can take you home, Emme. If you, you know, want me to.”
“That would be nice,” Emme says slowly. She rises and makes her way to Danny. “Thank you for the meal. It was lovely.”
She bends to hug him. They both jolt when I let out the mother f’ing growls of all growls.
Holy shit. I’ve turned into Aric Connor.
* * *
I was worried that my possessiveness scared Emme, hell, it scared me. I wasn’t sure how she’d be in the car. To my shock, she leans against me, cuddling as close as we were in bed. I drape my arm around her. Although we don’t speak the whole way back to Dollar Point, I keep my hold around her, wishing I didn’t have to let her go.
I pull into the cul-de-sac where she lives and park in front of her house. Before I can reach her side of the car, she’s already out. We walk in silence and without looking at each other. We also walk without holding hands, something that makes me feel even worse.
My guess is she wants me to say something, anything about us. Except that I can’t.
We hop up on the front porch and wait together at the door.
Ordinarily, I’d walk inside with her, shoot the shit with her family, and maybe sit and catch a movie with them. But in one night, everything changed. I don’t see myself hanging like I used to with my girls, and I swear to Christ, it breaks my damn heart.
Emme shuffles her feet. “We’re planning a late dinner tonight to celebrate being home as a family again.”
“Hmm,” I say.
“I’m cooking,” she says when I keep my trap shut. “And I’d like you to come.”
See? This is what I mean. Before yesterday, she wouldn’t need to ask. She would just tell me what time dinner was and I’d be there. Now, hell, I don’t know what to say.
“If you don’t want to, I’ll suppose I’ll just see you around,” she says. She glances down, like girls do when they’re
