I have never dated that congresswoman, Katie Hill. Katie came to Washington a term after me, in the 2018 “blue wave,” but with much more initial acclaim. She was a rising star in the new Democratic majority before she even took the oath. Hot, young, and blonde. Openly bisexual. From donor-rich California. She beat a multi-term Republican. A documentary movie chronicled her upstart millennial campaign. Well…most of it.
Katie and her husband Kenny were having sex with a young female campaign staffer. Apparently that arrangement is called a throuple—a festive label for sure. It’s weird, but in my experience, very normal-looking relationships can inflict just as much pain and resentment as the strange ones. If folks aren’t getting hurt any more than usual, I’m not a judger. Different strokes for different folks. Live and let live. Besides, I have plenty to work on to be a better partner in my own relationships before judging the choices others make in theirs.
All good throuples come to an end, apparently. Who knew that wasn’t the most stable of affairs? This one ended with now-estranged Kenny releasing Congresswoman Hill’s naked pics online. Bongs, questionable tattoos, and scenes with Katie and her staffer without clothes dripped out over several days.
I have already laid out my rules against sleeping with staffers. But technically there is no congressional rule against sleeping with campaign staff. Maybe there should be. Though, more than a few congressmen have ended up marrying their campaign workers. My predecessor Joe Scarborough did. Ex-Mrs. Scarborough #2—after the intern stuff, before the co-host stuff. All’s fair in love and war and MSNBC.
Releasing revenge porn is a crime and it should be. If two people (or, given the example, maybe more) share photos in the confines of a relationship, society shouldn’t judge the object of the image as harshly as we judge the betraying releaser. Only a bully violates trust for spite and sport. And I have never tolerated bullies. My dad taught me to stand up to them. No matter the trouble I found myself in during school, if I was pushing back against a bully, all was absolved at home.
Sometimes home can be the scene of the crime. Katie’s mean husband was victimizing her—our colleague. Adding to the very real photos were very false claims that Katie was also sleeping with her congressional staff (apparently this time without Kenny). Katie and everyone who worked with her in the House of Representatives denied that she was. Who knows? Who cares? Nobody complained. But as Professor Alan Dershowitz points out, too often we accept Guilt by Accusation, especially if the details are salacious and tribal.
Congress treated a female member expressing her sexuality worse than the man exploiting her because of it. It wasn’t our best hour fighting the Man.
If you are a liberal, California Democrat the only thing potentially worse than having nobody defend you is having only Matt Gaetz defend you. But where was the sisterhood of the traveling pantsuit?!
Did the woke women of the new Democratic majority stand up for Katie? Did the squad don pink hats and organize protests? Did it occur to them that an abusive man was ruining the life of a human being we worked with who broke no rule and was the subject of no complaint?
One hundred and two women serve in the House—more than ever before in America’s history. But not one initially stood up for Katie. #ImWithHer was quickly converted to #ShesOnHerOwn. I had Katie’s back in hours. The few who ever spoke up took days and weeks as their wet fingers tested the political winds. It takes these feminists-in-name-only less political courage to smear President Trump than to stand up for one of their own against a real monster.
If the Democrats were too gutless to defend Katie, the Republicans were all too happy to see an opponent embarrassed—maybe even forced to resign. Could we retake the seat? Get excited! None of us are at our best when singularly focused on the zero-sum nature of power in Washington. (We did end up winning the seat. More on that in a moment.)
Tribalism makes us blind and careless. It reduces us from being our best selves and stops us from living our best lives. I don’t believe in defending every Republican just because they are a Republican. Ask senator Richard Burr, whom I roasted for selling off stocks during the coronavirus pandemic as he lied to America publicly. He’s now a *former* chairman and will never win an election again. He may even go to prison given the current FBI investigation of his conduct. If he cheated and lied to the country for personal gain, he should.
I also won’t attack Democrats just because they are Democrats. As the son of a mother confined to a wheelchair most of my life, I hate when people pick on the vulnerable and weak. I stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. I believe in civil rights for the gay, the trans, the unborn, and our animal friends. It’s why I support laws that crack down on those who abuse defenseless animals. It’s why I’m the only Republican co-sponsor of the FAIR Act to stop mandatory arbitration in employment claims. Sexual harassers shouldn’t get to pick their own juries in advance.
“Who among us would look perfect if every ex leaked every photo or text? Katie isn’t being investigated by Ethics or maligned because she hurt anyone—it is because she is different,” I tweeted.
I wasn’t done.
“Congress should write a budget before we play ‘bedroom police’ or allow an ex to illegally humiliate our colleague for being different. Key fact: Not a whiff of a complaint from anyone who has worked for Congresswoman Hill. Just an angry ex releasing revenge porn. Sad!”
My very young staff all have alerts on their phones for my tweets. My Chief of Staff Jillian Lane-Wyant, Operations Director Alison Thomas, and Communications Director Luke Ball are the very best at what they do
