The cup she was holding fell to the ground as her hands shot out, pushing against his chest and sending him stumbling backwards.
“No!”
His eyes widened at the desperation in her voice, and she shook her head, willing her heart to slow its rapid beating.
“I'm afraid I may have given you the wrong impression the other night, and, for that, I apologize. But, as you know, I'm betrothed to Sir Edmund Brandt.”
He shrugged. “Verbally, yes, but the engagement contract was never drawn up, much less signed. I'd say you were still free to change your mind, if you wished.” His eyes lit with a heat that she hadn't seen in his eyes since the night they danced. “You once told me you loved me. Do you remember?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I remember you telling me you only saw yourself as my guard, yes. Are you telling me you've changed your mind after all this time? That you expect me to be waiting around for you to finally return my feelings?”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“No, I haven't changed my mind.”
She let out an exasperated sigh and threw her hands in the air. “Then why are we even standing here, discussing this?” She turned on her heel, heading towards the fire. “Goodnight, Alex.”
She only made it half a step before his hand caught hers, spinning her back around so that her other hand landed on his chest as she stared up at him with wide eyes, her lips parted in surprise.
“I lied to you. It killed me to do it, but I didn't have a choice. Your father... he loved you and only wanted the best for you. And I was as far from the best as a man could be, a poor, orphaned Kalo.”
Josselyn felt her hand clenching into a fist around the fabric of Alex's shirt.
“He ordered you to reject me.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Even though he must have known how I felt. Everyone else seemed to.”
“He loved you, Josselyn. He was only looking out for your future.”
Anger and frustration warred inside her, and she felt a familiar prickling sensation run along her birthmark. Taking a deep breath, she tried to find a semblance of calm, not wishing to add a ferocious hellcat into an already confusing situation.
“But the fact is, Josselyn, that you were... you are.... the only woman I have ever loved. As a girl, you captivated me with your courage and determination. You made me want to push myself, to become a warrior worthy of fighting alongside you.”
He cupped her face in his palm, running his thumb over her cheekbone. She clamped down on her lower lip, fighting the urge to lean into his hand. His voice roughened as he continued, his hands holding her captive under their gentle touch.
“By the time you were sixteen, I was besotted. You'd become this magnificent warrior princess, and yet, you chose to spend your time with me, a scarred Kalo nobody.” He let out a breath of laughter. “I felt like I was ten feet tall.” His expression darkened, his fingers flexing around her hand. “But then I was appointed as your personal guard, with strict instructions that that was all I was to ever be. Believe me, Josselyn, hiding my feelings from you has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. But I'm done with that. I've almost lost you twice now, and I refuse to let you go again.”
“But I'm already betrothed,” Josselyn managed to whisper, even as her heart screamed at her to grab onto the man before her and never let go.
He all but growled his response. “Edmund can find himself another bride. You're mine.” And then his lips were on hers, and time froze as she let his love fill her, memorizing the feel of his kiss, the way he tasted of coffee and cinnamon. One last precious memory. Surely, there's nothing dishonorable in that.
Fortifying herself, she pulled herself back, allowing the cool, night air to fill the space between them. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she looked at the man standing before her, his usually stoic face filled with anguish as he realized what she was going to say. He shook his head.
“Don't,” he rasped, his eyes entreating her to change her mind.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, her own voice wavering as she forced the words out. “But I can't betray Edmund like that. I gave him my word.” Edmund, who'd been imprisoned in the dungeons, possibly tortured and starved, waiting for her in a cold, dank cell while she allowed Alex to kiss her not once, but twice. He deserved better.
“Goodnight, Alex.”
This time when she turned to go, he let her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“We have to minimize the damage to Eldon at all costs. Prince Stefan has made it clear that he'll use our people as a shield, should we attack the walls. But I just don't see any other way... if we wait too long, they'll run out of food and starve anyway... perhaps, if we...but no, that wouldn't work, either...”
General Weston paced across the floor of his large tent, his furrowed forehead adding to the collection of wrinkles that already lined his war-hardened face. Josselyn sat on a small chair beside a table covered in various papers, as well as a large map of the area. She waited patiently for the general to finish his rambling, so that she could outline the plan she'd come up with on their ride over. Lily caught her eye from across the tent where she sat curled up on one of the rough cushions that lined the edge. She widened her eyes comically, and Josselyn had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
A gruff throat clearing from beside the tent's opening finally caught the general's attention, and he turned to look over at Alex, who'd taken up his usual spot standing sentry over the room with grim severity.
“I believe the princess had something in mind, sir.” He spoke to the air in front of him, his eyes never straying in her direction.
“Ah,
