“Well, someone lend her one.”
Neo yanked his out of his belt, held it up, then tossed it to me. I caught it and stared at it. What good would this do me? I had no magic. I let out a humorless grunt and threw it back at him.
He scrambled to catch it and blinked at me, the whites showing all around his eyes. “What are you doing?!”
I grinned. “Not my style.”
The enormous lion lowered its shaggy head and stalked toward me. It let out a low growl that rumbled through my stomach. This was it. There was nothing I could do against a snaking lion!
Neo looked between me and Ludolf, bouncing on his toes. “Sir! Is this—are you going to—”
Ludolf shot him a sharp look, and Neo immediately shut his mouth and dropped his head. “Apologies.” He shot me a dark, pleading look.
I got it. Any other shifter or person with magic would have defended themselves. I was powerless, except for my ability to speak with animals. And somehow, I didn’t think my powers of persuasion would go far with one of Ludolf’s personal guards who’d been ordered to kill me—and was probably looking forward to it.
The lion’s hot, moist breath hit my face and I turned my head, squeezing my eyes shut—braced for death.
Hot breath hit my throat. Something hard and sharp grazed my collarbone and then, in spite of myself, I opened my eyes. The lion had wrapped its jaws around my throat and frozen, no doubt waiting for the kill order from Ludolf.
I stood there, trembling. Below all the fear, I felt the hot burn of anger. I was about to die—in dirty clothes, in a sewer, never having told Peter the truth about me or how I felt about him. If this had happened a year ago when I was still wallowing and pining for the past, I’d probably have accepted it with a shrug. But now? When I was just starting to feel like myself again—when I was ready to live again? I squeezed my eyes shut tight, angry, bitter tears pouring from them. What a waste.
“That’s enough, Bruno, thank you.”
My breath caught and I jerked my head up to look at the mob boss. Ludolf casually waved a hand. “You may return to your wizard form.”
The lion retreated and in a swirl of golden magic transformed back into the brutal-looking guard. He stalked back to his post on the other side of the room, leaving me shaken and pressed against the wall. I gritted my teeth together, a nauseating mix of shame and fury twisting in my gut.
Ludolf had never intended to kill me. And he’d already known I wouldn’t be able to defend myself—or had suspected. This had just been a sick test to confirm it.
I straightened, threw my shoulders back, and smoothed my hair out of my face. I turned to face Ludolf, teeth gritted. “Cute trick. You got me.”
He studied me, drumming his long-nailed fingers on the wood desktop. “Fascinating.”
I bit my cheek and clenched my fists—fighting back my anger. “I was going to say terrifying, but sure. We can go with fascinating.”
He cocked his head, a tiny but quick, sharp movement. Still, he didn’t blink. “You cannot shift or use magic, yet you’ve gained new powers in that you can speak to animals. Absolutely fascinating.”
I didn’t bother trying to deny it. What would be the point? He already knew.
Behind me, Neo sucked in a breath.
I gritted my jaw tighter. Great. So Neo and his thugs knew I was powerless—defenseless, basically. My street cred had just reached an all-time low. I kept my eyes on Ludolf’s desk, chest heaving, adrenaline still pumping through my veins and throbbing in my temples.
“You’ve been cursed?”
I looked up and met the mob boss’s unsettling gaze. Should I lie? What difference would it make now? I nodded. “Yes.”
This was how it happened. You didn’t have to beg a favor of Ludolf, like my friend Will had, for him to own you. He just had to know your weakness and you were his. In all my years growing up in the orphanage, hiding my identity while pursuing my law career, then losing it all and being on the verge of starving, I’d never felt so powerless. I ground my teeth. I hated it.
Ludolf splayed his long palms. “I’ll have my hex makers look into this.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I told you I owed you—for that little favor you did me a couple of weeks ago?”
My gaze shifted to the right toward a nondescript door in the wall. Ludolf had made me interrogate an animal witness, who confirmed that one of Ludolf’s lackeys had been skimming money from him. They’d dragged him off, screaming, through that door after.
I gulped and turned back to Ludolf. “Thanks?” What was the catch?
He leaned forward, an intense emotion I couldn’t quite identify burning in his pale eyes. “Tell me,” he breathed. “What’s it like? Not being able to shift?”
The question was cruel, but his tone was reverent, eager—almost… envious?
I sneered. “Just peachy. A real fun time.”
“Do you feel… normal?”
I scoffed. “What is this? What do you want me to say?” This was humiliating. I threw my hands up. “It feels like I’m grounded, half of myself, like there’s this instinctual, calm, connected part of myself that I’ve been severed from and can’t access—no matter how hard I try or want to. It’s just—gone.”
I roughly wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes. Stupid tears. Just what I needed right now—to show him even more weakness.
Ludolf’s nostrils flared—the most emotion I’d seen him show yet. “But think of all you’ve gained.”
Was he joking? I couldn’t take this anymore. My chest and throat and face all burned with anger and shame at this spectacle he’d made of me. Everyone knew now that I wasn’t really even a shifter anymore. All my most painful secrets had been aired.
“Can I go?”
Ludolf considered a moment. “Very well. I’ll let you know of the progress
