“Like what?”
“When she’s with you, I know she’ll be in the best capable hands. I’ll worry about all of you when I’m not around, but that has nothing to do with your ability as a parent. If I could pick anyone to be the mother of my child, it would be you.”
I laughed and yanked my hand out of his. “Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we?”
I dove back into my steak, pretended not to notice the flash of hurt on his face. Refused to consider if he’d been telling the truth.
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “What’s something you’re good with?”
My fork dangled from my fingers. I opened my mouth, then closed it before I said something I couldn’t take back.
“Anything?” he prompted.
“I like how supportive you’re being. I didn’t expect that.”
“You thought I’d just leave you?” His face turned red.
“I didn’t think about it really. But who wants to be saddled with a child with me? I’m no picnic.”
“I can’t stand picnics.”
My heart reached out and clung to that with fierce possession.
“One on the beach would be nice.”
“Please. All that sand blowing everywhere. We’d eat more of that than the food.” He tilted his head. “But for you, I’d do it.”
“Why?”
“I find I like the unpredictability that is Marlow Linley.”
I kicked at his shin under the table. “Shut up.”
“Tell me something else good.”
“I can eat as much as I want.”
“You already did that.”
“How do you know?”
“We’ve had meals together before recently. That cookout once at your place. You ate two hamburgers and not the mini type.”
“You mean sliders?”
He waved his hand in the air. “Whatever.” I tossed a piece of asparagus at him. He batted it away, and Blake decided to follow my lead and throw an apple chunk. “You’re ganging up on me. And for the record, I was impressed.”
Blake threw another apple. Patrick picked it up and chunked it at me. It bounced off my forehead.
“Did you just throw food at me?”
“You started it.”
“I’m going to finish it.”
Croutons, grape tomatoes, and potato planks flew. I popped up from my seat and shielded my face as he and Blake pelted me.
“You’re ganging up on me,” I shrieked.
Patrick caught me by the waist and smashed a potato in my hair. Blake squealed with delight when I squished a tomato on Patrick’s nose.
“You play dirty.”
“I play to win.”
He pulled me flush against him. “I never lose.”
“This time you will.”
Chapter Thirty
Patrick
So much for common ground.
Five days into this vacation and we hadn’t determined a thing. Every time I pushed, she pushed back. Or clammed up.
I needed a new plan but kept coming up blank.
Soon . . .
I’d received some form of the text every day we’d been here. The only checking into it I’d done was to ask Gerard if that man was still hanging around. Once he’d figured out I really was out of town, he’d disappeared.
It was impossible he’d know anything about my past. I’d buried it so deep, I wasn’t sure I could even find it. Not that I wanted to.
“Are you thinking about the man who wants you to represent his son?”
“How did you know?” Not in the way you mean.
“You should take the case.”
I put down my tablet. She crawled onto the mattress and sat cross-legged facing me.
“I thought you hated what I do.”
“You’re the one who hates it.”
“I don’t.” I fisted the duvet. “Do you think what I’ve done is wrong?”
“People change. There’s nothing bad about you wanting to see the best in them. There’s also nothing wrong with you wanting something different. You’re adapting. That’s not always comfortable.”
She constantly caught me off guard. There was a warmth beneath that icy surface, and I wanted more.
“But am I becoming something better or worse?’
“Why does it have to be either? Maybe it’s just different.”
She was so damn insightful.
“Will you consider staying at the townhouse? For a few months after the baby is born?”
“I—” She fiddled with the flannel of her pajama pants. “I’ll think about it. But don’t take that for something it’s not,” she quickly added.
“Would you rather me move in with you?”
“No.”
The appalled look on her face pierced my gut.
“I’d be willing if that’s better for you.” The words were yanked from me. Willing was a bit too pliant for what I really felt.
“What’s the point?”
“The point is that I want to be there for every step of Gummy’s life, even while she’s in there.” I pointed to her stomach. “And I have no experience with infants. I’d guess it’ll take me at least a few months to get the hang of it. Shouldn’t she be with her mother too?”
“It’s not like the wild.”
“I don’t know that.”
“What about after?”
I put the tablet on the nightstand. “I don’t know that, either.”
“We’re not going to drift into living together permanently.”
“I didn’t say we would.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“I’m not trying to corral you into moving in.” My lips turned down. “I’d feel better knowing you were around. In case I screw up.”
“You did fine with Ella and Blake. Most people would’ve lost their shit.”
“Your dad does it all the time.”
“My dad handled three of us on his own. He’s superman.”
I couldn’t imagine how he did it. If I could be like him, I’d be forever grateful. And he’d help me with how to parent Gummy. I was certain of it.
“He is pretty awesome.”
She leaned forward. “Want to know a secret?”
“What?”
“We’re both going to screw up. That’s in the fine print of being a parent.”
“Thanks.”
She stopped drawing circles on the duvet with her fingers. “For what?”
“Keeping me grounded. I’m kinda freaking out over here.”
“If you change your mind—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.” I couldn’t stand the thought of ever leaving my child.
She nodded. “You seem calm.”
“I’m good at keeping cool under pressure.”
