“You can’t tell me how I feel.”
“You. Don’t. Love. Me.”
“Oh no? Then what am I doing here?”
“I already asked you and didn’t get a response.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m scared shitless for you. That somehow you’ll end up stuck in this place even though you shouldn’t be.”
“Isn’t this where the guilty belong?”
I nudged his thigh with my knee. “You didn’t do it.”
“Damn sure seemed certain I had before.”
“I was stunned.”
“But your first question was if I did it. If you love me like you say you do, you wouldn’t have had to ask.” He turned his head away. “And stop saying I made you love me. If you did, I’d just want you to. Not because I made you do it.” He spoke the one word with disgust, and I shrank in on myself.
“I’m sorry. I-I—” My nose tingled with threatening tears. “I’ve never been good at this. Jack made it easy. He—”
Patrick banged his fist on the table so hard it moved. “I can’t compete with a dead man. Did he ever do a fucking thing wrong?”
I gripped the rounded edge until my knuckles were white. “Yeah, but—”
“You’ve got him on this altar so high no one could ever touch him. You refuse to move out of that shrine. So don’t sit there and tell me I made you love me when all you’ve done is replace a name and a face.”
It felt as if he'd slapped me. “I will always love him.”
“I get it, but that’s not good enough for me. If I asked you to give us a chance, to move in with me—or hell, get a place we pick out together—you can’t do it. You’re stuck in the past.”
I opened my mouth and closed it, my chest tightening at the thought of moving out of the home Jack and I had made. With a pleading look, I begged Patrick to make his words not true. But they were, and we both knew it.
“Somehow you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact you’re having another man’s baby.”
I’d gotten better about it, but a fresh wave of guilt swamped me. The look of hurt on Patrick’s face nearly crushed me.
He touched my knee. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, Wicked. Really, I do. But stop lying to yourself. And please stop lying to me. You love a ghost. You’ll never love me the way you love him, and that’s not good enough for me. I need all of someone. I need a partner who has my back no matter what without me having to tell her so.”
I jumped when the door opened. “Time’s up.” The officer’s gruff voice couldn’t break my gaze locked with Patrick’s.
“How do I get you out of here?” I whispered.
“Ma’am, you have to go.”
I held up my finger for one more second. “Patrick, we need you.”
“You’ve got your family.”
“They’re not you,” I said more insistently.
“Ma’am.”
I hopped off the table and pointed at Patrick. “Don’t get comfortable.”
His face was hard and emotionless when he looked at me . . . as if he'd given up. “Wicked, don’t come back.”
Chapter Sixty-Three
Patrick
“What’s going on?”
Zegas handed me my clothes. “We’ve got a press conference in an hour. I hope like hell you have a shower at your office.”
“I’m not doing a press conference.”
“Change. You can’t leave in state-appointed clothing.” I glared at him, and he held up his hand. “Five minutes.”
I undressed and yanked on my wrinkled suit pants with too much force. I’d been in this hellhole for three days and now firmly understood why people would do anything to get out. If I’d have had any idea I was going to be arrested, I would have used that address Duke found. Confronting Terra, begging her to tell the truth, would have been worth avoiding this . . . if she would have been willing.
I burst out into the waiting room, Zegas and Marlow huddled together, her face pinched as she pointed at him. She’d been by every day, but I’d refused to see her. It was too hard. Too painful. Speaking the truth hadn’t made it hurt any less. She loved another man. Didn’t believe in me.
I couldn’t live like that.
She drew in a sharp breath when she saw me. For a moment, she looked uncertain before that expression evaporated. With quick steps, she crossed the room and flung her arms around my neck in a very uncharacteristic display.
“I believed you. I’m sorry I had to think about it. My heart knew, but my head—you know how stupid and stubborn I can be.” Her eyes were clear, pleading for forgiveness. “You were right. About everything.”
My chest ached at that. I wanted to be wrong about her feelings for her dead husband. I knew I wasn’t, but I’d gladly accept I was if it meant at least most of her heart was mine.
I refused to touch her despite how desperately I wanted to. If I gave in, I’d temporarily forget, until a reminder came later on. By the time it did, I’d be in deeper, a risk I couldn’t take.
She didn’t seem to care I didn’t return her embrace. Her lips pressed against my cheek. “Don’t give up on us.”
She slid her fingers into mine. I couldn’t bring myself to let go as her warmth warded off the permanent chill. She dragged me toward the exit, Zegas close behind.
“Is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on?” I asked as soon as we were in the back of an SUV.
“Didn’t he tell you about the press conference?” Marlow shot my lawyer a withering look.
“Yes, I told him.”
“Will someone fill me on what it’s about?”
“Aren’t you happy to be free?”
“Isn’t this on bond?”
She exchanged a glance with Zegas. “Don’t you want it to be permanent?”
“Why are you both avoiding my questions?” My pulse throbbed against my neck. No more surprises. I couldn’t handle it.
“Are you okay?” The gentleness
