“Everything okay? What happened?”
“Nothing. It’s fine. Nothing.”
She was looking out the window, rubbing a fist against her stomach as if something inside hurt. And she wasn’t just glancing out, she seemed to be looking for something or someone in particular.
Evan reached over and grabbed her phone to see if it held clues, but there was nothing on the screen.
He joined her at the window. The reflection showed her pinched expression. “It’s obviously not nothing, Juliet. Are you looking for someone?” He peered out the window himself, but there was no one to be seen in the early dawn. The streets were empty.
Evan touched Juliet’s shoulders, wanting to let her know that she wasn’t alone in whatever was upsetting her, but she jerked away.
Damn it, were they back to square one?
He reached out again to rub her arm, but she shrugged him off and walked back to the couch.
“What’s going on, Juliet? Seriously.”
She shook her head. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”
His jaw clenched. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? You never want to talk about it. Never want to talk about anything, to let any of us in.”
Juliet didn’t respond, just walked over to the gym bag she’d brought from the office. “I’m not ready to talk about stuff yet.” Her voice was soft as she rifled through the bag. She pulled out running shorts and a top, not looking at him. “I don’t know if I’m ready for any of this, Evan.”
He rubbed a weary hand across his forehead. He didn’t want to push, didn’t want to lose all the progress that they’d made over the past few hours. And that kiss a few minutes ago—Evan couldn’t even allow himself to think about that right now. He’d have to process it later.
“Okay, let’s go for a run. Together. No talking necessary,” he told her.
He thought she might refuse, but then she nodded. “Okay.”
They were out the door just a few minutes later, headed toward a local park. Juliet had no problem keeping up with the pace Evan set, even given her shorter stride, further testament of what good shape she’d kept herself in. Her brain might not quite be ready for her to resume an active agent position, but the same couldn’t be said for her body.
They jogged around and through the park without talking, Juliet obviously not interested in sharing what was on her mind. Evan wished he could tell her that no matter how fast or how far she ran, the demons she tried to leave behind would still be there when she stopped. You couldn’t outrun your demons.
You had to face them. Maybe it was time to help her do that.
They reached a large fountain in the middle of the park and Evan stopped, rather abruptly. Juliet looked over at him in concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he told her between breaths. They were both sweating and breathing hard. They had kept up a strong pace for at least five or six miles. “I want you to close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it, okay, Jules? For me.”
Juliet shook her head, but closed her eyes as he asked.
Evan looked around the park, now much more active, since it wasn’t so early.
“Okay, without looking, I want you to tell me what’s going on around here.”
“What?” Juliet’s tone was uncertain, her eyebrows squished together over her closed eyes.
“What’s happening in this park right now? If you had to describe it to someone, what would you say?”
Juliet shook her head, obviously thinking he had lost it, but took a deep breath through her nose and blew it out of her mouth.
“A mother with two toddlers at the southwest corner, heading toward the playground. Another woman with a stroller coming in from the other direction. Male Caucasian runner, age thirty-five to forty-five, dark hair, six foot one, 170 pounds, running counterclockwise on the inner loop. Blonde female speed walking with German shepherd on inner loop, probably five foot three, 150 pounds. African-American couple, early twenties, strolling together five hundred yards from the fountain. Drinking coffee from nearby coffeehouse—”
“That’s fine.” Evan chuckled. “You can open your eyes. I think you proved my point.”
“And what the heck was that?” Juliet asked as she opened her eyes and looked around, obviously checking to see what she had missed.
Which was nothing.
“Your brain saw and processed everything, Jules. Even though you were running at a hard pace and there was no reason to keep track of what was going on, your brain still did it automatically.”
“So?”
“So? Your body still works like an agent and so does your mind. Your situational awareness is off the charts. Only your fears are holding you back.” Evan prayed he wasn’t pushing her further away from him. “I’m not saying you should just get over what happened. I’m just saying I think you can move forward.”
Juliet looked around the park again, then stared at him for a long time. At first he thought she was going to argue, but she didn’t. She looked down at the phone she held in her hand, then back up at him, her expression resolved.
“Okay, Evan, you want the truth about my fears? We’re not far from my house. Let’s go there.”
* * *
EVAN WASN’T SURE what her house had to do with her fears, but jogged the mile or so to her place, slowing down and walking the last few blocks with her. He hadn’t been here since the attack, although he had hung out here all the time with her brothers before that.
Juliet hadn’t wanted to go to any of their bachelor death pads, so she’d had them over to her place when they wanted to eat or hang out or watch a movie. Her space was smaller, but it was always clean and inviting, and most importantly, usually had real food.
As Juliet let Evan in, using a key she had kept in her running belt, shock reverberated through
