Devon might as well have smacked Kayla in the face. “What exactly is it you think they’re going to tell me?”
“I’m on your side. I want you to get everything you’re hoping for. I’m worried, though, about what will happen if you don’t. Can you accept the verdict or not? What if they tell you it’s a complete loss?” Devon asked softly.
“Then you’ll get to celebrate. I’ll give the fuck up and we can all move out to Middletown permanently. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To manage a crew of your own, like Mike and Joe?” Kayla blurted out her worst fears. “How long are you going to wait before you abandon us and do it anyway? Once the project is finished or before it even begins?”
“I’m not—”
“Well, you fucking should.” Kayla didn’t do as well as Devon at keeping calm, her talking becoming a shout. “What the hell are you doing hanging around here when you should be a foreman too? I don’t want to be responsible for you not living up to your full potential. Not Dave or James or Neil either.”
“Oh. I see. We’ve entered some sort of guilty bullshit phase.” Devon stood up straighter. “I’m better at tough love than coddling. Work your feelings out with Dave and we can talk again when you’re ready to put on your big girl panties. Fight for Bare Natural or don’t. Keep it how it was or evolve. But don’t you dare put this on me when I’ve always had your back and always will. Get your shit together, bitch.”
Kayla jolted back. Devon had never lashed out at her like that in the years they’d known each other. Without a doubt, she’d deserved it. That didn’t make it sting any less. Her face fell, but instead of fixing things, she only made them worse, flinging a reflexive suggestion like one of Morgan’s chef knives. “Maybe it’s best if Dave and I go. Find our own place.”
And it hit its mark.
Devon recoiled. “You’re not happy to have us around anymore? A few weeks turned out to be too much time together? It’s like I don’t even know you right now.”
The last thing Kayla wanted was more fractures in the crew, but she didn’t want to be the one causing them to stick somewhere they didn’t belong. Right now she wished she could run away from it all, even the people she loved, because she felt like she was constantly letting them down. “Maybe you never did.”
“You know what, maybe you’re right.” Devon crossed her arms. “Look, I’m your friend, but that doesn’t mean I’m your punching bag. There’s a difference between being supportive and being taken advantage of, and as much as I love you, I’m not going to let you cross that line.”
“Fine. As soon as Dave gets back, we’ll get out of your hair. Then you three can feel free to leave and return to your lives, uninterrupted.” Kayla tossed up her hands. Just because it was the right thing didn’t mean it made her skip and twirl to think of the last of their group leaving her and Dave behind. More like it eviscerated her. Maybe she was just scared it would happen when she least expected it. At least if she told them to go, she’d know it was coming. Her sanity couldn’t withstand any more bombshells.
“You’re hurting, you’re disappointed, but lashing out at me isn’t going to fix that.” Devon held her arms out as if to hug Kayla, but she didn’t deserve that kind of loyalty when she’d been such an ungrateful asshole and couldn’t guarantee she wasn’t going to be equally as miserable to be around for a while yet.
“You’re right.” Kayla turned her back on Devon. “I’m going to go pack. Please, leave me alone.”
She jogged up the stairs to the bedroom she’d been sharing with Dave, Devon, James, and Neil but her friend didn’t follow.
Instead, Devon did exactly as she’d been asked.
Kayla’s heart shattered.
10
“Kayla? What’s going on?” Dave peeked through the bedroom door as if he expected to have to duck or maybe tuck and roll.
Ugh. It wasn’t like she was going to launch her suitcase at his face or something.
She didn’t need her husband or their friends to be afraid of her. That wasn’t the kind of person she was. Except maybe she was becoming volatile, running hot and cold like the water that would singe then freeze you in a shitty hotel, and that only made her more upset.
When she didn’t respond right away, he clarified, “Devon just ran through the kitchen looking like she was about to cry.”
“Ah, fuck.” Kayla buried her face in her hands. The last thing she wanted was to hurt the people who always had her back, but she felt like she was doing that no matter what she tried. “Go after her. Tell her I’m stupid and I’m sorry.”
“No.” He crossed his arms and spread his feet. He wasn’t often so serious, and she found it kind of turned her on. Damn, she really was completely out of control.
“No?” She tested him.
“I will not do that. James and Neil will make sure she’s okay, and if I hear you say such bullshit about yourself again I’m going to get pissed. Enough.” Dave strode to her and drew himself up to his full height, which he rarely did. His stormy gray eyes were way, way up there as he peered down at her. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t know. I feel…confused.” Kayla went slack, her arms hanging at her sides. “Nothing is the same. Everything I thought I knew about myself is gone and keeps changing.”
“Everything?” Dave asked, rubbing her shoulders.
“Okay, no. I’m so glad I have you.” She hugged him
