Wayne knocks his knuckles on the wood as he looks down at the bar. “Well, if you want a distraction, there’s a pretty little redhead with her eyes on you.”
I glance down the bar and see just that. A very attractive woman with curly red hair is smiling at me. “You really think a one-night stand will do the trick?”
“Hell if I know. I’ve never had one, but if you could fall for Lacey so fast, maybe you’ll surprise yourself by meeting your next dream girl tonight.”
I have doubts I’ll feel better after doing this, but I get off the stool, walk over to the redhead, and introduce myself.
“Catrina,” she says and extends a hand. “You from around here?”
“Chicago. You?”
“Same. I’m an interior designer.”
“Florist.” I hold up my beer and nod.
And this is how it goes. Catrina is here with friends, who are at a table, talking. She was just at the bar, getting a drink, when she saw me. She’s single and in her late twenties, and she lives with her cat. She’s wearing a pretty green dress, and she’s very talkative. Interesting even.
She’s a classically put together, ultra-feminine woman who is polite, alluring, and socially confident.
But she’s no Lacey.
While Catrina is talking, I’m picturing Lacey in that golden dress, the one she wore on the date with the guy who wasn’t me. The thought of her going out with another man and wearing that damn dress eats away at me. She looked so gorgeous that night. Hell, I found her stunning in just a pair of sweats. You can’t hide beauty like hers. Not under all the wine stains in the world.
As Catrina practically purrs as she speaks, I can still hear Lacey’s voice. She has this shy quality to it when she’s uncomfortable or nervous. That’s when I knew she liked me, and later, I found it was the same when she was turned on. Her voice was breathy, and it made me wild.
As I got to know Lacey more, she was more than polite, alluring, and confident. She was funny and sincere. Her joy was found in things she loved and in what I wanted to do. I could experience life with Lacey. Conversations never had a lull, and when we were in silence, we were content.
And the sex … fuck, the sex was amazing. Maybe I’m the fool. I should have just lived in her loveless bubble and had all the sex I wanted. That way, I could get her mind and her body.
But I’d never have her heart.
Catrina is talking about something, and I feel like shit because I spaced out. I have no idea what she was saying.
“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?” I ask her.
“My friends want to stay, but I want to get out of here. I have to be up early.”
I know it’s bullshit. She wants me to offer to bring her home, and it will be followed by an invitation up to her place. I know this is a line because I’ve heard it before. And I’ve gone along with it.
Tonight, I don’t have it in me.
“I can give you the number to a local taxi company,” I offer, and she looks displeased.
“You wouldn’t happen to be heading out anytime soon, would you?” she asks, batting her lashes.
I turn around and look at Wayne, who’s watching us with interest. He’ll probably tell me I’m crazy for turning her down. The guy has never had the carefree bachelor life and lives vicariously through me.
“No. I’ll be hanging with my brother-in-law for a while. I should get back to him. It was nice meeting you.” I turn around and go back to Wayne, who’s staring at me with raised brows and his arms out. I shake my head. “She’s getting over a bad breakup and not looking for anything right now. If you’re good to go, I am too. I’m really tired.”
Like a good friend, he just nods, tosses some peanuts from the bowl on the bar into his mouth, and slaps a twenty on the bar for the bartender as a tip. “Let’s get out of here then.”
When we get home, I thank him for his company, and he heads up to his room. I might have said I was tired before, but the truth is, I’m wired, so I get another drink from the refrigerator and head out to the back deck.
The stars are bright tonight. I sit in an Adirondack chair and look up at the constellations.
“Hey, bro.”
I’m startled as Penelope appears, heading over to the seat next to me. She nudges my leg and then sits beside me.
I glance in her direction. “I take it, Milène told you, so I don’t have to fill you in?”
She nods. “She did. You okay?”
I shrug and look back up at the stars, of course seeing Cassiopeia staring back at me. “I’m okay with her not saying she loves me back. I get it. But I need to know that she might love me one day. She couldn’t even give me that.”
“What did she say?”
“She called me an egomaniac. Said I needed to be the center of attention. You know what? She’s right. What’s so bad about wanting to be the sole focus of the woman you’re with? She knew this about me really early on, and then she threw it in my face like it was a bad thing.”
“Did you know that she didn’t believe in love?”
My sister’s comment earns her an intense side-eye from me.
“Not exactly. She says she doesn’t believe in love, yet her entire living is based around that mere fact. I called her a hypocrite. I’m pissed that she believes it enough to write about it, yet she’s afraid to actually live it.”
“Whoa … so shit got deep then.” She sits back fully in the chair and looks up at the stars the same way I am.
She doesn’t say a word as I continue to drink my beer and count my favorite constellations.
Eventually, she lets out
