I couldn’t do this.
There was a psychopath who might be planning his revenge. His friend could be on a plane at this very moment. I couldn’t just go to the library with Tina as if nothing was wrong. What kind of terrible person would I be if I put her in potential danger like that? I shouldn’t even be talking to her right now, in case Mr. Martin was watching me.
“I’m sorry, I won’t be able to do anything,” I told her.
Tina nodded. She didn’t look heartbroken or angry. Her reaction, which cut me even deeper, seemed to be immediate acceptance, as if this was simply the way things worked out in her life, and there was no reason to have thought otherwise.
“Okay,” she said. “Thanks for asking in the first place.”
She walked toward the school entrance.
She hadn’t even asked why I’d changed my mind. She probably assumed that she already knew.
I was such a piece of shit.
Technically, I was the opposite. I’d be a piece of shit if I went out with Tina knowing that she could end up in a shallow grave because of it. But I sure felt like a piece of shit. I should have at least made something up before she left, told her that my parents were even more uptight than her father, that I wasn’t allowed to be alone with a girl until I was fifteen.
Fuck.
“She turn you down, loser?” a kid called out. I didn’t know his name, but he was one of Ed’s buddies.
In fact, Ed was walking toward him right now. He smacked his friend in the back of the head, really hard.
“Ow, what the hell, man?”
“Leave Curtis alone,” Ed said. “He’s under my protection now.”
“Say what?”
“You didn’t hear me? You got wax in your ears? Do you want to repeat this whole conversation, including the part where I hit you?”
His friend shook his head and walked toward the school.
“Sorry about that,” Ed told me. “I meant to hit him before he said anything to you.”
“It’s okay.”
Ed gave me a thumbs-up and called for his friend to wait up. They walked into the building together. After standing there like an idiot for a few moments, I walked into the building as well, feeling confused and shitty.
It was difficult to pay attention in class. I’d be desperately trying to focus on United States history, but then I’d start to think about Mr. Martin, and then I’d start sweating and try to focus back on history, then I’d start to think about Tina, and then my stomach would hurt, and then the teacher would call on me, and I’d have to admit that I had no idea what question had been asked, and the rest of the class would snicker, and the teacher would sigh, and I’d be added to the teacher’s mental “will amount to very little” list. Repeat for the first four periods.
Weirdly, I was as upset about Tina as I was Mr. Martin.
There was nothing I could do about the serial killer right now, but before lunch I thought, “Who do I think I am, Spider-Man protecting my secret identity?” Though I stood by my decision not to go out with Tina, why not explain my reasoning to her? Why let her believe that I simply didn’t like her? Hell, it might also be nice to have somebody I could talk to about what was happening.
I walked into the cafeteria and looked for her. Didn’t see her. We were allowed to eat outside if we wanted, as long as we stayed on school grounds, so I went out to look for her. It didn’t take long to find her—she was seated by herself in the back of the school, leaning against the side of the building, a paperback book in one hand and a sandwich in the other.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi.”
“What are you reading?”
She held up the book. “A Spell For Chameleon by Piers Anthony.”
“Is it any good?”
“It’s great.”
“Is it all right if I sit down and talk to you?”
“If you want.” Tina scooted over to make room for me, even though we had the entire side of the school building to ourselves and I could have sat on either side of her just fine. She slipped in a bookmark and set her novel aside.
Mr. Martin had not given me the impression that he was a huge risk-taker, so I couldn’t imagine that he would be hiding somewhere, watching the school through binoculars, in the unlikely chance that I’d come outside during lunch. Before or after school, maybe, though even that wouldn’t be a very smart thing for a guy accused of abducting kids to do. So it was better to talk to Tina out here than risk being overheard by nosy fellow students.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“No, you don’t. It’s not about you. Well, it is about you, but in a good way. Well, not in a good way, but…” She was making me babble. I didn’t typically babble. “Can you keep a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I mean it. This isn’t a small secret, and you might feel like you need to tell somebody. But you can’t tell anybody. Not your friends, not your teachers, not your dad.”
“I don’t have any friends, so the first one is pretty easy,” said Tina. “Is this something where I could get in trouble for not telling?”
“No. You won’t get in trouble.”
“Then I can keep a secret. Is it that you like boys?”
“No. Okay, you know that my friend Todd got abducted, right?”
“Yes. That’s how we met. I told you that I was sorry about it.”
“I know, I know. I knew that you knew.” More babbling. “I’m just trying to set things up. I know who did it. I saw Todd get into his car.”
“Oh my God,” said Tina. “Did you call the police?”
“Yes, I told them everything that happened, and they questioned the guy who did it, but they couldn’t prove anything. He’s still free. So I…” I hesitated. Telling
