It was the only option. There was no way Nash and I could live apart. Our bears would rebel too much, but I like to think neither of us would be able to hack it either. Nash had already talked to Liam about putting his cabin back on the website as a rental to increase the income of the campground and he’d agreed.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later then,” Nash said.
I flashed him a smile before heading out the door.
My heart raced as I walked to Gran’s cabin. I didn’t know how I’d feel when I started up the front steps, but it was what I’d feel when I stepped inside that scared me most. I didn’t want to break apart again, or to feel the intense pain I had the day she passed again. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it a second time. However, I didn’t want to run from it anymore either.
The aroma of hot dogs cooking on a grill hung heavily in the air as I passed by some campers. Nausea rolled through my stomach, and I thought I might be sick.
My nerves were getting the best of me.
I pulled in a deep breath through my nose and then exhaled through my mouth. When the cabin came into view, I felt my heart skip a few beats. It still looked the same.
How was that even possible?
It shouldn’t be. There should be some subtle differences, some sort of sadness oozing from the cabin because it missed her.
Yet, there was nothing.
I wiped beads of sweat from my forehead and placed one foot in front of the other as I made my way to the door. My hand shook when I reached for the knob. For a fleeting moment, I imagined she’d be there, sitting in her recliner with her feet propped up and whatever paperback she was currently reading clutched in her hands.
She wasn’t.
When I opened the door, the space was entirely devoid of her presence. The air had grown stale inside, and so had the energy of the place. It was no longer charged with the vibrant life of Gran.
My heart ached, and the same exhaustion I always seemed to feel these days weighed down on me, making my limbs feel heavy. I glanced at the cardboard boxes Tris and Liam had gathered from the diner and stacked in the corner of the living room for me. There were six of them, and I found myself wondering if that was too many or if it wouldn’t be enough.
How much of Gran’s stuff did I plan on getting rid of?
My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I flipped on lights and made my way to the stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. I grabbed one from the top and made my way to the kitchen, deciding to focus on one room at a time.
I was halfway through packing up some of Gran’s random knick-knacks I’d never cared for when a knock sounded at the front door. I paused in what I was doing to answer it and was surprised to see Tris, Penny, and Vada on the porch.
“Hey. We know you wanted to go through everything here yourself, and that you probably want to be alone while doing it,” Penny said in a soft tone.
“But we got something for you, and we couldn’t wait to give it to you,” Tris insisted, holding a small white box out to me.
“Oh. You guys didn’t have to get me anything,” I said, genuinely surprised.
“We know, but we wanted to,” Vada insisted.
I opened the box and saw a beautiful silver heart on a chain among cotton.
“It’s a cremation pendant,” Penny said. “So you can always have a piece of your Gran with you.”
My eyes filled with tears as a wave of heavy emotion washed over me. “Thank you so much. That’s so sweet.”
Gran’s ashes were on the mantle because I hadn’t known what to do with them. That was one thing we’d never talked about while she was still alive that I wished we had.
“All right, well. We just wanted to give you that,” Tris said, pulling me in for a quick hug. “We’ll let you get back to it now.”
“Unless you want us to stay. We don’t mind helping,” Penny insisted as she pulled me in for a hug next.
Over the last few weeks, I’d grown close to these ladies and valued their friendship.
“I’m okay doing this alone. I appreciate the offer to help though, and I love this necklace. Thank you.”
“Are you sure?” Vada asked, hugging me next.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
“All right, well then we’ll get out of your hair,” Penny insisted.
They climbed into the golf cart they’d rode here and backed out of the driveway. I closed the door and looped the necklace over my head while I walked to where Gran’s ashes sat on the mantle. Once I had a pinch of them inside the pendant, I felt lighter. Better. It was nice knowing I had a piece of her with me always, that she wouldn’t only be a memory.
“Now, what did you want me to do with the rest of you?” I asked, hoping for a sign. “Where are you wanting me to set you free?” My gaze drifted around the room, but nothing happened to signify an answer.
I made my way back to the kitchen and resumed packing up the oddball knick-knacks before moving on to the living room. Forty minutes later, I stood in Gran’s bedroom with a new box in hand. I’d barely filled two boxes between the kitchen and living room, and I’d also decided to donate her couch and keep mine. However, I knew the majority of my boxes would be filled with things from her room.
As I stepped further inside, something on the nightstand caught my eye. An envelope. My name was written across the front in Gran’s perfect cursive.
Had this been sitting here the whole time?
I used my thumbnail to open it,
