“Do they have enough Marines left to board those scout ships?”
“Nope.”
“What sort of personnel do they have?”
He looked at some data. “Hmm, says here they have boarding teams, who aren’t Marines. Let me check into it, Boss. I’ll get back with you in a minute.” He worked at it for a bit, and said, “I think they have people who could handle taking those ships, Boss. They would probably fit into a tight little ship like that, anyhow.”
“Do they have enough flashbangs to do it without too much drama?”
“They do.”
“Tell them to go catch us a couple of slippery eels, then.”
“On it, Boss.” We waited a few minutes, and Saucy said, “Eels in the basket, Boss. The destroyers are bringing them aboard.”
“Good work.” Tikki came running onto the bridge. I asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I was just talking to Captain Dressi. He said they were coming into the system, and he would be here soon. Then, all of a sudden, he shouted, and it sounded like he passed out.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Not long at all. Gene gave me priority.”
I looked at Topper and said, “Oops!”
“Yes, Boss. Big oops. Should I have the destroyers deliver those two ships to us?”
“I think that might be best.”
Tikki asked, “What just happened? I’m confused.”
Nikki said, “Shorty found a couple of ships sneaking into the system. The Commodore sent ships to capture them, thinking they were more mutineers. It would seem, however, that we managed to capture Captain Dressi.”
Saucy said, “Commodore Sloan for you, Boss.”
“On speaker, please.”
“The cavalry is here, Boss. A big old fleet just came out of FTL out here, and they’re friendly. They do seem a little concerned about their man Dressi, though. Seems he got it into his head to sneak into the system and have a look-see, and they lost contact with him a few minutes ago.”
“Tell them he’s just stunned, and we’ll have him call home as soon as he wakes up.”
“Nice catch, Bob.”
“We got lucky. Shorty had Midnight in just the right place to see them go by. I didn’t expect Captain Dressi and his cavalry this soon, the thought those ships could be friendly never even crossed my mind.”
“Do you suppose Snappi will wake up angry?”
“He’s the one who tried to sneak in. How is it our problem, if we thought a Squirrel vessel trying to sneak in during a battle probably wasn’t friendly?”
“I understand that, and you understand that. Do you think the Squirrels will?”
“I don’t have a clue, Dingus. I’ve nearly given up trying to figure out how the Squirrels think.”
“Bob the Great, first Emperor of Snitzelvania, stumped? Say it isn’t so!
“Hush up that kind of talk, unless you want to have to design the flag.”
“Pierre the Painter is indisposed?”
“If I actually wanted it to happen, I would ask him. Since I don’t want that, I haven’t asked, and I won’t.”
“Nikki’s right, it is fun to wind you up.”
“That’s right, I’m only here for amusement purposes.”
“Funny, your sense of humor doesn’t seem to work on the Squirrels.”
“You’ve noticed that, have you?” Topper said, “Sorry to interrupt, Boss, but the two spy ships just came aboard. Abe says, and I quote, ‘Tell the Boss to get his organic heinie down here, if he wants to be here when Captain Dressi wakes up.’ He doesn’t seem to think it will be very long.”
“Bye, Dingus. Your ship, Topper. Gene, get me priority.”
“Bye, Bob.” “My ship, yes, Boss.” “Your transit will be waiting, Boss.” I’m not sure how much time in the autodoc Nikki really needed. She made it to the transit right behind Snitz, and they both got there before I did. The closing doors nearly pinched my hind end. It must have been because Nikki was aboard, but we didn’t get the full treatment, just all the speed Gene could get without overloading the compensators. When the doors opened, I saw Captain Dressi on a gurney, beginning to rouse. I ran to get there before he woke up. “Captain Dressi, so nice of you to come visiting. Your Uncle would have been here, I’m sure, but he’s having a little nap.”
“Playing nice isn’t going to make me forget that I was captured by your ships, Commodore. It is nice to see you again, though.”
“Let me pose you a hypothetical, Captain. You’re engaged in battle against members of a species known to do all manner of sneaky things, when some of your people notice a couple of spy ships, built by those same people, trying to sneak into the system the battle is happening in. What would you assume? ‘Oh, that must be my friend, who couldn’t possibly be anywhere near here yet’ or ‘That must be my enemy, trying to set some sort of trap for me.’ Take your time, you have all of twenty or thirty seconds to decide.”
“All right, Commodore Smartass, I see your point. That still doesn’t do anything for my embarrassment, though, does it?”
“Aww, c’mon. ‘I was once captured by that infamous monkey, Bob Wilson.’ That ought to get you a few free beers.”
“Now that you put it that way, I suppose you’re right. Still burns that you caught us. Who is this lady? Is she the most patient woman in the known galaxy, the famous Mrs. Wilson?”
“That she is. I live in fear of the day she realizes what a horrible mistake she has made.”
Nikki said, “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Captain Dressi.”
“Yours as well, Mrs. Wilson.”
“Please, call me Nikki.”
“As you wish. I am Snappi.” Nikki wagged her finger in my face. “Don’t you do it, Caveman. You just got him talked down from the last insult.”
Snappi spoke up. “Nikki, I’ve been to Earth with my Uncle on buying trips. I am accustomed
