I replied, “It doesn’t help any that only the bots who were flying know how to get there, does it?”
Natti said, “No one who hasn’t seen the way you work, first-hand, could ever believe that, anyhow.”
“You folks just don’t like to believe a monkey, do you?”
“I suppose not. Our entertainment is pretty biased against you, you know.”
“I’m aware. Makes me wonder how much the walnut vendors have to pay for such a thorough propaganda operation.”
Snappi asked, “You think the media is paid to put down monkeys?”
“I doubt all of them are. More likely just a few trend-setters, and the rest of the herd follows along.”
Natti said, “Don’t be troubled, Snappi. That is the way the monkeys think. They say, ‘Follow the money’, when they begin to investigate almost anything. They believe if something happens, that you don’t understand, there is a reason, and that reason is most likely that someone is getting paid.”
Snappi said, “That seems like a cynical way to look at life.”
Natti said, “It would be, if they didn’t get results with it. You have to remember, Snappi. Even though the humans are people, they are most assuredly not people like us.”
Snappi replied, “I’m beginning to understand that, I think. Waking up on the Cernan was a surprise.”
I asked, “You would rather we kept you asleep, and dropped you off at Oak, while broadcasting video of you talking in your sleep?”
Snappi looked stunned. He said, “No, thank you. The way it happened was embarrassing enough, without anything like that.”
Nikki said, “He’s just having fun. He wouldn’t fly that far, just for a joke.”
Snappi relaxed. Natti said, “You seem more playful today, Commodore. Why is that?”
“Well, we’ve dealt with the old guard’s reaction to the peace negotiations, without hurting much of anybody. You’re okay, that had me worried. And I finally feel like I might be beginning to get a handle on how to talk to you folks and get what I want, without causing offense.”
Natti asked, “So, what is it you want?”
“Right now? How about the formula for those slick little knives you folks carry, that scan like bone? That would save my armorer a week or two, figuring them out. While we’re at it, throw in a training course on how you’re able to throw them so well.”
“You don’t want some high-tech gadget?”
“Engineering is already working full time to figure out the last load of those you brought. I want to wait to dump more in their lap. Besides, I’ve never seen anything quite like that ceramic. I think it’s probably pretty high-tech all on its own.”
Natti looked at Snappi. “I told you he was sharp. He has his Engineers going through the trade goods I brought. Knowing his crew, they’ll not only figure out how to duplicate the stuff, but figure out the principles that make it work. In a month or two, we’ll be buying a better version from them.”
Snappi asked, “Why are you so concerned about your armorer’s time?”
“We just got a new one, I’d rather start slowly, than put them on a big project right away.”
Natti asked, “Your armorer is a bot, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Why doesn’t the old armorer just download the skills?”
“The old one was human.”
Snappi said, “Oh, I see. You suddenly acquired a lot more ships, and had to spread out your available human crew.”
I looked at Natti. “He’s smarter than he looks.”
Natti replied, “About have to be, wouldn’t he?”
We laughed, but Snappi didn’t appreciate the humor. He said, “What did I ever do to you, Uncle?”
“Well, let’s see. There was that one time you ran your mouth to the cute female, and lost me half the profit on my load.”
“That was my first trip. Are you ever going to let me forget that?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
I asked, “So, do you have to wait for more minders before you start negotiating again, or can you proceed without any?”
“I think I should get in touch with my government, and get some guidance before I give you an answer to that. I would be fine with continuing talks, as long as you don’t bring in the, what did you call them, ‘grannies’?”
“They will be flattered to know you think so highly of them.”
“Is there a place I could have some privacy while I consult with the folks back home?”
“Feel free to use my ready room.”
Snappi asked, “Won’t you record what is said?”
“Not if he asks me not to. We often have meetings there that aren’t recorded. I can give you temporary permissions with the AI to request as much privacy as you feel necessary.”
Snappi asked, “How would you do that?”
I said, “Gene, would you please tile the lodge in the ready room for the Ambassador, and refrain from recording whatever he says.”
“Of course, Boss. How soon will he need it?”
“As soon as we can convince his nephew it is secure enough.”
“The younger Captain Dressi doesn’t think that I can be trusted?”
“I think it’s more along the line of he’s seen too many things that he doesn’t understand, and he’s suffering from sensory overload. I really don’t think he intends any personal slight, Gene.”
“That’s good. I’d hate to have to misfile that footage of him talking in his sleep.”
Nikki said, “When did you start working on humor, Gene?”
“When Mr. Topper got promoted to XO, he suggested it might be useful for interacting with the Boss. Did I use it mistakenly?”
“Not at all, Gene. You did well.”
Snappi looked back and forth at Nikki and me. He said, “The AI that runs your ship is working on a sense of humor?”
I said, “Apparently. Is that a problem?”
“I suppose not. It’s just so different from
