“Really? No trouble at all?”
“Diego is in the autodoc, but John sounded like it wasn’t serious.”
“Did you call Zoom?”
“You think I should?”
“Her husband wound up in the autodoc, taking care of your ship. What do you think?”
“I think I’m a moron for having to have you tell me to do it.” I pulled out my comm and dialed. “Morning, Boss. What can I do for you?”
“I called to see what I could do for you, since your husband got injured in service to the ship.”
“John says he’ll be out this afternoon, Boss. He would have had him out already, but he decided to go ahead and give him the enhanced reflexes and stuff while he was in.”
“Good deal. He’ll need it for the training he’s going into when he gets out.”
“C’mon, Boss. Just because he took down your captain candidate, he has to fill the slot himself?”
“Bill proved we need to wake up the Navy, before somebody less scrupulous stumbles onto it.”
“I guess you’re right, but you know how much he’s going to fuss and cuss about this, don’t you?”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea. I’m not all that crazy about sitting in the big chair myself, you know?”
“I know, Boss. As long as you don’t want me to train for it, too.”
“Of course not. You’re going to be his Chief Engineer.”
“Boss, I’m beginning to see why they call you asshole so much.”
“Just get with Scotti and Sally, see what you still need to study. Shouldn’t take that long, since it’s only four hours between courses now.”
“Yes, Boss. I’ll get right on that.”
“You know I’ll check up on you, right?”
“I figured as much. Talk to you later, Boss.”
“Later on, Zoom.”
Nikki said, “I thought you were calling to console her, not give her more work.”
“She seemed like she was handling him getting hurt okay. I figured it would be better if she stayed busy, so she didn’t have time to change her mind.”
“Sneaky Caveman. I knew I kept you around for something.”
“Can’t be for my cooking, now that Topper has learned how.”
“When did that happen?”
“He said your Dad taught him, while we were on our honeymoon.”
“Dad is sneakier than I gave him credit for.”
“He’s a Slongum. I haven’t met a dumb one yet.”
“Thanks, Caveman. What are you going to do about Bill?”
“I was hoping you could give me some guidance on that. What’s customary, for mutiny on a commercial vessel?”
“You’re not going to call the Gene a military vessel?”
“She was, and very well may be again, but at this point in time, she is a commercial vessel, operated by Bob’s Saucer Repair. I could, right now, declare myself Emperor Bob, of the Empire of Snitzelvania, and commission her as the S.S. Gene Cernan, the first ship of the Snitzelvanian Navy. That wouldn’t change the fact that at the time of the mutiny, the Gene was a commercial ship.”
“I see your point, Caveman. Do you want me to look it up for you?”
“Sally is already on that. I was hoping you could give me an idea of what happens in the real world, as opposed to what the rule book says.”
“Well, there hasn’t been an incident of this kind in a very long time. I could look up case records, but I would think Sally would find them in her search.”
“For the first time, I wish we had registered Gene as a Commonwealth vessel. Then we could just dump those two on Mike and Tina when they show up.”
“What did Mike and Tina ever do to you?”
“I guess you’re right. I wish Dingus were here. I could sure use some adult supervision right about now.”
My comm rang. Sally said, “Hello again, Commodore.” I replied, “Good morning, Captain. Do you mind if I put you on speaker with Topper and Mrs. Wilson?”
“Go ahead, Boss.” I did, and asked, “What did you find, Sally?”
“The Gene is a commercial ship at this time, correct?”
“I don’t see any way we can claim otherwise.”
“That complicates things a great deal. In the normal course of business, a mutiny on a commercial vessel would be prosecuted by the political entity the ship was flagged by. We aren’t sailing under the flag of any political entity, just Bob’s Saucer Repair.”
“So, you’re telling me we’re in uncharted waters, legally speaking?”
“Yes, Boss. I can’t find any precedent for the situation we find ourselves in.”
“Thanks for your hard work. I’ll see if I can come up with an answer.”
“Later, Boss.”
“Later, Captain.”
Nikki asked, “What was all that ‘Captain’ and ‘Commodore’ stuff about?”
“Sally had been certified captain a long time ago. All I had to do was acknowledge her old captain as valid authority, and boom, she’s a Captain.” Hearing that, Topper exclaimed, “Boss, you mean you recognized Captain Rannum as a valid certifying authority?”
“I did. Is that a problem?”
“Regs say only non-coms can be Chief of the Boat. I’m a First Looey again now. He gave me a field promotion, back in the day.”
“Topper, are we in the Navy?”
“No, Boss.”
“Do we have anyone else more qualified to be Chief of the Boat?”
“Not that I am aware of, Boss.”
“Are you willing to stay in the position until we find a suitable replacement, or do I need to bust you back down to Master Chief?”
Topper froze, considering his options. Finally, he said, “Boss, I would be more than willing to find and train my replacement.”
“Better train up a whole class. Seems like we are going to have to wake up the rest of the Navy, whether we want to, or not.”
Nikki said, “That didn’t work out quite like you planned, did it?”
Topper replied, “No, Ma’am, it
