“Who-who are you?”
“I’m that infamous monkey you all are so wound up about. Bob Wilson.” I heard a drip, and made sure I was standing far enough back to keep my shoes dry. I said, “Get a mop in here. He needs to clean his mess.”
“You expect me, an officer, to mop your deck?”
“You can mop it, or the next fella can clean up your piss, and your brains, if there’s even enough to see.”
I threw him in the puddle. “There, you don’t have near as much to mop, now.” He came up with fire in his eyes. “I would teach you respect, if you weren’t armed.”
I asked, “Jane, Pete’s gym isn’t far from here, is it?”
“No, Boss. You probably want to leave him breathing, you know?”
“You take all the fun out of things.”
“Just trying to look out for you.” I unhooked him from the table, and we went down to the gym. Pete was helping with the new ships, so Greg was there by himself, doing some drills. I asked, “Mind if I borrow your fighting ring?”
“No, Uncle, um, Captain, um, Commodore.”
I handed my pistol to Jane, and removed the prisoner’s restraints. I said, “Whenever you feel lucky, punk.”
He pulled a knife he had somehow gotten past Angus and charged. Suddenly, I was grateful for all the training Dingus got me to take. I was able to get the knife away from him, and stick it in a pad across the room. He didn’t look nearly as confident after that. He made a few wild swings, and finally I just did the old Three Stooges thing and grabbed the top of his head. He was swinging, but he couldn’t reach me. I said, “Gene, be sure and get some good footage of this, so we can broadcast what a great fighter he is, when we drop him off at Oak.”
“On it, Boss.” His fury increased, but not his success. I asked Jane, “Did you get the name of this fine example?”
“Leffi Nalli, Boss.”
I spoke in a loud, clear voice, for the recording. “Behold, Leffi Nalli! Not satisfied with wetting himself, he has decided to bring further shame to himself and his family with this futile display. What amusements will he provide next? Could I get him to completely lose his wits?” I pushed him onto his butt. “Do you care to try again?” He charged, and I was able to keep him from landing any blows. I let him keep trying till he couldn’t hold his arms up. I tapped him gently on his forehead, and he fell over. Beatriz spoke up. “Commodore, that was fun! Do you think we can do it with all the prisoners?”
“I think that might be more fun than we ought to have, Ma’am. I don’t see any problem with showing them the recording, though.”
Leffi had come around enough to be following the conversation. He said, “You would humiliate me in front of my crew? I will never be able to command again!”
I said, “That sounds more like a personal failing to me. If you were any good, you could laugh with your crew and carry on.”
“You impudent monkey! What are you babbling about?” He looked like he was going to come at me again. I said, “Come ahead, I’ve got all day. Gene could probably use more footage anyway.” He settled back on to the mat.
I said, “Well, ladies, I’ve done all I know to get him to see sense. I don’t think I’ve done you a bit of good.”
Greg spoke up. “Commodore, he thinks you were able to beat him because you are bigger than he is, not because you are a better fighter.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’m about his size, and between Mom and Pete, I know at least enough to explain it to him.”
I looked at Jane. She said, “Let him try. He is pretty good, for his age.”
I made a sweeping gesture, saying, “Be my guest, young man. Gene, send this out to everyone in the fleet, particularly the brig.”
“On it, Boss.” I could tell that Leffi wanted to whine about already being tired, but he looked at me and decided to keep it to himself. Greg held his own for a while, just defending, getting a feel for how Leffi fought. Leffi, of course, tried to goad him into attacking before he was ready. When he did attack, no one expected it, and Leffi was on the floor, helpless in a sleeper hold, before he even registered that Greg had moved. I said, “He’ll complain that he wasn’t ready. Let him up and go again.” This time, Greg elected to throw him, rather than pin him. The only problem with that plan was that he impacted next to the knife I had thrown earlier to get it out of the fight. Leffi grabbed it and threw. Jane and I both drew, and to this day, I don’t know which one of us shot the knife out of the air. I do know, however, that Beatriz was cussing her hat, and
