I said, “Ruth, give Tex whatever firing angle he would like. Tex, put a hole where their mains used to be.” I felt us jump, and then I saw an impact on the Squirrel ship. Tex managed some really nice secondary explosions. I asked, “Was that their capacitor bank?”
Tex said, “Yes, Boss. Like the show?”
“Nicely done. Do you suppose we have his attention yet?” Some of the cussing from the screen was coming through as Squirrel, apparently he was using words the translator hadn’t figured out yet. I said, “Are you through complaining about how unfair it is, or should I give you a few more minutes for your tantrum?”
“You infamous monkey! How dare you! I will see you killed!”
“You’ll see your command killed, if you don’t calm down and see reason.”
He continued sputtering incoherently, and I noticed someone in officer’s uniform moving behind him. Being stunned that I could actually tell their uniforms apart now, I didn’t notice what the fellow was doing, until the guy I had been talking to grabbed his chest and collapsed. The new guy cleaned his knife on the first guy’s uniform and put it away. He said, “Hello. Commodore, isn’t it? My name is Snappi Dressi. I believe you know my Uncle Natti?”
“Pardon me if I’m impertinent, but I would have thought your Uncle would have warned your folks about that name, having been to Earth.”
“He proposed it as a joke, and my parents took him seriously. This being the first time I’ve had dealings with anyone from Earth, up until now it hasn’t been a problem.”
“I see. And congratulations on your promotion.”
“My…? Oh, I see what you mean. He was going to get us all killed. Better him than all of us. Does your offer of ‘Patching our ships and getting out of your sky’ still stand?”
“Yes, but I am going to have to ask you a favor in return.”
“My Uncle says you are a tough negotiator. That means something, coming from him. I tremble at what you are about to ask.”
“I have three shiploads of prisoners, and their ships. I’d rather not have to take them to Oak myself. Your people seem to get upset when I show up in orbit there. Would you mind taking them with you when you go?”
“I think that is something I can do. Will there be any other conditions?”
I thought for a moment. “I think maybe one more thing. I believe I will require each ship to take a hundred pounds of walnuts, as payment for your trouble here.” I’ll never get tired of seeing Squirrels lose their composure. “Pardon, I think the translator glitched. Did you say a hundred pounds?”
“Indeed, I did. Are you trying to bargain for more? I didn’t think I had inconvenienced you that much.”
“No, not at all. Thank you for your generosity, Commodore Wilson.”
“If you could, see to it they are consumed before you reach port. I’d hate to put you into competition with your Uncle.”
“I’ll do what I can, Sir. I think you know my Uncle can handle the competition.”
“He did strike me as a skillful businessman.”
“I’m afraid his description of you was more colorful.”
“Good to know I made an impression. Do you have a private comm channel? I have some information you might find useful.”
“I have a private comm, yes, but unless you have access to one of our comms, I don’t see how that would help you.”
“Ask your cousins, the next time you see them. I’m sure they can explain it to you.”
He looked confused but seemed to take my word for it. I said, “Let us know when your ships are ready to go, and we’ll send over the prisoners and the walnuts. Anyone trying to power a weapon will wish they hadn’t.”
“Understood. Speak with you soon, Commodore.”
“And you.” Saucy cut the connection. I said, “Page Tikki to the bridge, please.”
Topper replied, “She’s on her way, Boss. What are you sending him?”
“The names of the courses he should be studying if he wants to be an officer.”
Topper asked, “Could you come over that again, for us slow kids?”
“The courses labeled as officer training are put there to slow down junior officers trying to rise through the ranks. The real courses are hidden.”
“How did you figure that out, Boss?”
“Bone helped me find the real courses for the Commonwealth, and I got to wondering if maybe the Squirrels did the same thing.”
“That’s how you knew exactly where to hit those ships to put them out of commission, isn’t it?”
“Give that bot a C-gar. He’s not as dumb as he looks.” Tikki came onto the bridge, out of breath. “Yes, Boss, huh, huh, what did you need?”
“Just need you to text a young man for me. Cousin to that fellow you were chatting up the other day.”
“What do you need me to tell him?”
“How to jumpstart his career.”
“Okay, Boss, you’ve got me interested. Let’s see what you’ve got.” I showed her Snappi’s address and told her what to tell him. She punched it all in, and got a response of ‘Tell the Commodore, thank you very much’. Then she asked, “Do you need anything else, Boss?”
“Has Shorty briefed you and Scotti about what he found out about sensors while we were gone?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Find his tin heinie and get the story out of him. It’s something we need to be looking into. When you’re done with that, find Ozzie, and see if you can help him with what he’s looking at.”
“On it, Boss. Oh, and thank you for not blowing these folks out of the sky, even though they acted like they wanted you to.”
“You’re welcome. I’m trying to establish friendly relations, but they don’t seem to
