A hell of a lot of pain.
18
Jules
Getting released from the hospital turned out to be harder than I thought it would.
I woke up and glanced over at Dom sleeping soundly, then let my thoughts slide to the past couple weeks.
All of us girls were having trouble adjusting to real life again. I always felt like people were watching me, or that someone was following me, and not one of the brothers either. The hospital was safe. The outside world was a lot scarier now. Especially since John hadn’t been found yet.
It was like in one of those scary movies when the character turns back thinking someone is there, but then they don’t see anyone. I felt like I was constantly having to be on alert, always looking for the nearest exit.
Seeing a therapist twice a week helped. So did the group sessions. It helped knowing I wasn’t alone, or that what I was going through wasn’t unusual. The therapist said it would take time. It had only been three weeks since we were rescued. All of us girls had also started taking a self-defense class and it’s helped too. Dom suggested Gia join us and she did. She’d been great, supporting me when I had my bad days. She understood there was nothing to do but to be with me, let me talk, and know that it’d pass.
Gia didn’t really understand why going outside still caused panic attacks. I tried not to go out unless Dom went with me and even then, I didn’t really like doing it. It was the same for the rest of the girls. Being in big crowds and being around people we didn’t know still sent us into panic mode. When someone accidently bumped into me, it caused an almost paralyzing panic attack.
The first time it happened I was out with Gia. We were leaving the self-defense class and the streets were really crowded. I had an escort, as usual. Most of the time it was Smokey because Storm was at New Day. Dom had someone on the inside looking out for her.
Gia and I had just left, and a passerby bumped my arm. I freaked out and couldn’t control it. I just stood there frozen. Smokey had to talk me down before I could move to get in the car.
Grace still had a lot to overcome. Living with my parents seemed to be helping. Leah was doing fine at the club, and she and Viper seemed to be getting closer. And Smokey went to visit Storm whenever he could get away.
So, I guess some good had come out of all this. I finally got a sister and a group of ladies that I will forever be bonded with.
Dom and I were doing amazingly well, despite the circumstances. Honestly, it had taken some time for him to kiss me without it bothering me. But when I finally got over the fear, his kiss erased all the gross images of John touching me. Dom was still very careful with me, and I understood, but I was starting to worry.
Waking up next to him every day without him touching me was difficult. I knew he wanted to make sure I was okay mentally before we did anything again, but like I’d told him so many times, even though John was still out there and I was still scared, he was my safe place. The only place I felt secure and normal.
The therapist had said maybe I should make the first move to let him know I was ready.
So that’s exactly what I was going to do.
I rolled over, running my hands along Dom’s chest and abs, thinking that would wake him. When he didn’t budge, I traveled lower and slipped my hand under his boxer shorts. I gently gave him a squeeze. That got a groan out of him.
He turned over and sleepy eyes found mine. He kissed me softly. “Babe, are you sure?” he whispered.
I didn’t answer, just pierced his lips with my tongue. It worked. I awakened the beast. He kissed me roughly as his hand roamed my body, feeling his way down to my sweet spot. He slipped his fingers into my panties. Needing the feeling of his hand on me, I ground myself against him as his fingers stroked my clit. I moaned his name and moved my hips, letting him know I needed just a little bit more pressure. I gripped his dick harder, jerking him faster as I felt his breaths quicken. He was getting close.
“Dom, don’t stop!”
The edge was right there. I pumped him even faster, harder. He slid two fingers inside me and started pumping in and out. He bit my nipple and that sent me over. I came around his fingers, looking right at him. Watching me come undone caused him to detonate.
He moaned loudly. “Fuck, Jules! I’m going to come.” He wrapped his hand around mine, pulling harder. He came all over my hand and his. Smiling, I kissed him. “You’re a little devil in an angel disguise,” he said, grinning.
He kissed me hard before getting up to clean off and bringing a towel. As we got dressed and ready for the day, my heart felt just a little lighter.
Maybe things would work out despite everything going on around us. There was no way I was going to lose him. But I knew I’d have to fight. Not to keep him, but to keep myself from going crazy and pushing him away without meaning to.
Dom left me with Smokey while he took care of some club business, which was fine with me today. I had a plan to help us get back to normal, and I wanted it to be a
