Probably the monsters currently roaming these streets.
After confirming the shelves inside the store are empty, I check each glove compartment inside the cars. The first vehicle only carries a handful of napkins and years old bubblegum. The second has a faded photo displaying a smiling couple and a wad of crumpled bills. It’s the third car that piques my interest. Nestled between a box of condoms and a fast-food wrapper is a tiny handgun. I’m not skilled enough to tell you the make, brand, or model, but it fits snugly in my hand.
Using what little knowledge I possess, I check to make sure the safety is on before counting the bullets. Seven.
That’s good, right?
I check five more fucking times to make sure the safety is on before shoving it in the waistband of my shorts. The last thing I need to do is blow off my vagina. I rather like it, thank you very much.
Now where to?
My feet rooted to the ground, I spin in a circle, surveying my surroundings with a new lens. Buildings extend as far as the eye can see, each one taller and more imposing than the last. Fortunately, I don’t see any other monsters.
Unfortunately, I don’t see the damn exit.
And as much as I don’t want to shoot my vagjay off, I really don’t want to blow up.
“Eeeny. Meeny. Miney. Mo.” I point towards a location at random and squint my eyes against the blinding sun before shrugging and skipping down the path.
Down here, the buildings appear even more dilapidated than before. There’s a skyscraper balancing precariously on one side, devoid of any windows. Next to it is what appears to be a once-cozy coffee shop that is now littered with trash and spray paint. The farther I walk, the more my unease ratchets up, strangling my airways.
I can’t help but feel as if there are eyes burning into my scalp. That feeling grows with every step I take until I’m physically nauseous. Slowly, as to not alert the monster that I’m on to him, I remove my gun from my waistband and hold it at the ready. There are very few creatures that this weapon will kill, but I don’t need to murder the monster in order to win. I just need to get away and survive.
Heart hammering, I peer over my shoulder where I could’ve sworn I felt the eyes caressing me. But when I look, the street is empty, not even a bird to be seen overhead.
“Fucking hell,” I murmur, quickening my pace. I’m becoming paranoid, which will only lead me to make sloppy decisions. All I can do now is put one foot in front of the other and hope I’ll make it out of this mess alive.
Something grabs my hair, wrenching my head back, and I let out a startled scream. Wrenching my curls out of the monster’s grip, I spin around, gun raised.
No one’s behind me.
“What the…?” Before I can articulate my question, I feel a body tackle me from the side, propelling me off my feet. I release an “oomph” as I collapse on the asphalt, grit and pebbles embedding themselves into my skin. Still, when I look, there’s no one there.
A fist connects with my cheek, and I finally understand who my attacker is.
The Invisible Man. Or his daughter.
Actually…
A second pair of hands grab my shoulders, holding me steady as the first person continues to rain down his or her assault.
Both of them are here.
Daddy and daughter duo. Killing vamps and taking names. I would actually be kind of jealous of their bonding time if, you know, it didn’t include punching my face in.
I buck my hips up while simultaneously jerking my head forward at the person overtop of me. The decidedly feminine scream clues me in that the Invisible Girl is the one destroying my perfect face. Her daddy must be holding me down.
“You bitch,” she spits, drops of salvia hitting my face. Focusing on my senses, I wait until I hear the rush of air indicating she’s attempting to throw another punch. Before her fist can connect, I grab her hand and twist it, smirking in satisfaction at the audible crack of bones.
Before her dad can retaliate, I jump to my feet and kick out where I suspect him to be. When my foot connects with nothing but air, I duck to the side just in time to avoid his lunge at me.
Okay, you can’t see him, Violet, but you have other senses. What do you hear?
Footsteps pounding on the road shake me out of my own head, and, trusting my judgement, I lift my gun and fire two rapid shots into the incoming monster’s heart. Behind me, the Invisible Girl releases an agonized shriek of pain and fury as her dad’s form begins to flicker, becoming visible once more. His eyes are wide in shock as he stares at the bullet holes in his nether region, blood rapidly gushing from the opened wound.
“Sorry,” I mouth, wincing. I never said I had good aim, did I?
Fuck, I’m a penis murderer. The guys will never forgive me for destroying this man’s cock. RIP, Little Invisible Man. It was nice knowing you.
Invisible Girl—I really should learn her name—shoulders past me and crouches beside her bleeding father.
“You bitch!” she screams through gritted teeth, hurling daggers at me with her eyes.
Badass rule number three: Run when you accidentally shoot off someone’s dick.
Saluting her with my still smoking gun, I race away from her, the wind whipping my golden locks back.
I’m so preoccupied with getting away from the perceived threat that I don’t notice the next monster until I’m plowing him over. We land in a tangle of limbs on the
