“You left with her,” I pointed out. There was no bitterness in my voice. Instead, it was a statement of fact. He had left with her, he couldn’t deny that. Maybe he didn’t sleep with her or even kiss her, but he had left.
I closed my eyes and took a steadying breath.
The sun was bright and blinding today. Behind my closed eyelids, it painted a picture of dark red and black. I knew that my skin was burning, unaccustomed to the blistering heat.
I kept my eyes closed as Bash released a sigh.
“She told me she had information about you,” he admitted at last.
“Me?”
That wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
“I went, of course. I thought she maybe had some information about Aaliyah or some shit like that.” Another intake of air followed by a heavy exhale. “Maybe it was a diversion. Maybe she was actually working with Haven. I was stupid and believed her when she said she had information about the new noble, Zara.”
There was another long pause, and I pictured him forking his fingers through his blond hair, a few shades lighter than Dair’s. It was an anxious gesture that a lot of my mates had. A product, I was sure, of their life growing up together. I knew I picked up habits from the assassins in the Alphabet Resistance.
S and T used to always bite their nails down to nubs until B, our leader, poured syrup over their heads. I didn’t know how that helped them, only that it did. The bad habit stopped instantaneously. T still joked that he could feel phantom remnants of syrup in his butt crack.
“Anyway...I’m not going to lie to you. She tried to kiss me.”
I remained immobile, expression stoic, as I processed what he had confessed. She had tried to kiss him. I wasn’t surprised - especially after her spiel of snagging one of the princes - but it still left a hollow hole in my stomach.
“You didn’t kiss her back.” It wasn’t a question despite my need for confirmation.
“Of course not!” He sounded aghast. “I would never do that to you, no matter how much you annoy the fuck out of me.”
Silence. Water rippled, smashing against the side of the boat.
“Why does fate hate us?” I whispered. “Is it just some cosmic joke? To be the mates of the men you were supposed to kill? To be the assassin for a kingdom you hate? To be the mate of a man who hates you?”
Those questions were ones I asked repeatedly. In the dead of night. Huddled in Killian and Devlin’s arms after making love. Walking through the halls of a Capital I despised. Bowing to Kings who would never earn my respect or devotion.
“I don’t hate you,” said Bash adamantly. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“You don’t like me,” I pointed out.
“I don’t know you! All I know is that you’re this beautiful, kickass assassin who loves knives and has me and my brothers wrapped around your finger. I don’t know you, Z. I don’t know what your favorite color is or what you like to eat. I don’t even know anything about your family.”
“Black,” I answered immediately. “My favorite color is black.”
Finally, I peeled open my eyelids. Bash was staring straight ahead at the open expanse of water. We were reaching the end of the canal which hopefully meant we would be able to speed up.
“Why black?” he asked, not bothering to turn around. I shrugged.
“It’s made up of all the colors.”
“Black is not a fucking color,” he protested with an indignant huff.
Fucking Bash. Always having to argue with me.
“It’s every color,” I insisted. “Red and blue and green and pink and purple and every color you could think of. Have you ever painted before, Bash? Have you ever combined every single color together? What does it get you?”
Bash was silent. Usually, he was only silent when I was right.
“And for what I like to eat...hmm...I like steak.” I shrugged, a gesture I knew he couldn’t see. “What can I say? I’m a carnivore.”
Once more, Bash snorted.
“What?” I asked. “Don’t tell me you’re a vegetarian?”
“Vegan, actually,” he said. I could hear the smirk in his voice. “All Mages are. It’s part of our evolution, I guess. Years ago, the Mages were too fucking lazy to go hunting for their own animals so they lived on the greens Genies provided. It must’ve stuck.”
“Diego wasn’t a vegan,” I mused, tapping my chin. “The things that man did with a hot dog...”
At that, Bash spun around to face me.
“Why the fuck are you talking about Diego’s hotdog?”
And...I smiled. I heard Diego’s name, and I didn’t completely fall apart. It still hurt, the softest of pinches, but it no longer overwhelmed me. I could hold the hurt in two hands and know that I was stronger because of it. My mates had helped me understand that, had walked with me through my grief.
I hadn’t even realized it.
My mourning would’ve gone differently if it hadn’t been for them.
“Guys!” Dair barked, and I immediately went on alert. The copper handle fit perfectly in the palm of my hand as I unsheathed my knife, searching. The water rippled, bubbles appearing, but that could’ve been from the boat itself.
Up ahead, Dair continued to swim, golden hair clearly visible in the blighted sun. He paused suddenly, back muscles tensing, before beginning again, this time slower.
“Be careful,” Bash warned. He stood, still holding the wheel, and searched the nearby land. I kept my focus on the water.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Something pushed through, and I staggered backwards, heart hammering. Just as quickly, I caught my bearings and rushed at the offender.
A dolphin.
A fucking dolphin.
It rode alongside the boat, fin the lightest shade of gray.
“It’s just a dolphin!” I called to Dair, my muscles minutely relaxing. Dair, however, stopped abruptly. He swiveled around to face me, and even from this distance, I could see the panic in his eyes.
“There shouldn’t be fucking dolphins in this shallow
