“I would say that makes you a stand-up guy, Bishop Halla.”
“No, it just makes me a dad, which most women don’t want to hear. They don’t want to be weighed down with the idea that I have a teenager and responsibilities.”
“Which is strange because, at our age, we should have responsibilities. We should have a wide enough base of knowledge and understanding to see other people’s pasts as not the end of the world, but as life experiences.”
“And in my case, that life experience will be part of my life in a tangible form forever.”
“I suppose some women might see that as a problem, but I don’t. Those women probably think you aren’t interested in having more kids when you’ve already raised one, or if you do have kids, your allegiance will always be to Athena.”
He nodded while he stared out over the water. His head just kept nodding like he was searching for the right thing to say, but couldn’t come up with anything. Finally, he turned his head to drink me in from top to bottom. “You are something else, Amber Larson. Refreshing. Wise. Understanding. Compassionate. Intuitive.”
“I’ll take those adjectives as a good thing,” I teased.
“You should. I meant them all. I usually don’t bring Athena up on a first date, or second or third for that matter, because it muddies the water.”
“But this isn’t a date, so that rule doesn’t apply.”
He froze and swung his head to stare at me. “Ri—right,” he stuttered. “I just meant that’s why I don’t talk about her with women, even if it’s just while getting to know my neighbor.”
Did he want this to be a date? Was I reading his friendly dinner to make friends outside of school the wrong way? It was starting to feel like I was.
“I suppose we should get back to that fence,” I said, unsure what else to say. “I need to fire up the grill for the steaks, too.”
He stood and wiped off the butt of his shorts, while I took a good long drink of his tight buns in that denim. He was definitely as yummy as Haylee’s tarts, but I wasn’t going there. Not now, not ever.
“Sure,” he agreed, his eye to the sky. “I suppose it’s almost dinnertime, and we still have to finish taking the fence apart.”
I suddenly realized there was no way for me to get up from where I sat. I couldn’t roll over to my knees when I wore the brace, I couldn’t push myself up from the dock without something to grab, and I wasn’t going to ask him to help me. All that left was jumping back into the water and wading to shore. I hated to do it since I was almost dry from the first swim, but I didn’t see much choice. If I was going to save face and keep my secret a secret, I was going to have to. I’d change when I went to grab the steaks from my fridge.
Before I could make my escape into the water, his strong hands were under my armpits, and he pulled me up into a standing position in one motion.
“I figured you might need a hand after being down there for so long,” he said, slipping his hand into mine and helping me up the uneven dock to the grass. He didn’t drop my hand then either.
“Tha—thanks,” I muttered, my limp pronounced after sitting on the dock for so long. “Do you have a grill, or do you want to use ours?”
“I have one big enough for a couple of steaks. Why don’t you get them while I fire it up? We can work on the fence and then, after dinner, have a little bonfire.”
“Sounds like an excellent way to spend a summer Saturday evening,” I agreed with a smile. “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
We parted ways at the property line, where he dropped my hand and watched me walk toward my apartment, the leg dragging behind me in a bit of a swishing motion rather than any kind of proper gait. I hated that my issues were displayed in a way that he could see, but it didn’t matter, because we weren’t dating. I told myself that the whole time I fixed my hair, put on dry clothes, and dug the steaks out of the fridge.
Bishop Halla might have a kid, but that would be the least of his worries if he got involved with me. The smartest thing to do was to beg off from dinner and stay holed up in my apartment for the night. I couldn’t do that, though. I grabbed my cane on the way out the door and made my way across the yard. I had to admit to myself that I didn’t want to stay holed up in my apartment anymore. The admittance scared me more than thunderstorms, and that was truly saying something.
Five
The sun began to set just as clouds moved in across the lake. The oranges, reds, and yellows of the sunset made it stunning, but it also gave an ambiance to the space around us that made me entirely uncomfortable. Suddenly, the summer campfire felt close and intimate as we sat around it, drinking beer and talking about absolutely everything. We’d covered music, literature, and politics. I was pleased to see we liked the same music and tended to stand on the same side of politics, but our literature tastes differed significantly. Bishop assured me that was okay. He said there’s a book out there for everyone, so we don’t all have to like the same ones. I had to take that as the gospel truth, considering he taught literature for a living.
“I bet your dad will be surprised to learn the fence is down. I hope he doesn’t get upset,” he said, tipping his beer bottle
