“That could be,” I agreed, nodding. “It’s possible I’m contributing as well. Hay-Hay also told me she could see how much I love you, even if I haven’t come to accept that yet.”
His eyes widened, and he coughed, clearing his throat. “She must think herself clairvoyant then,” he said jokingly. “She’s making all kinds of prophecies.”
“She does think she’s an expert on love now,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully. “You get married once, and suddenly you know it all.”
He winked, but shrugged his shoulder slightly. “Brady was equally as prophetic while we covered the boat. He said sometimes you have to dig in for the long haul when it comes to love.”
I laughed and rolled to my back, staring at the ceiling. “And Brady would know about the long haul. It took a lot of years for him to convince Hay-Hay she could trust him.”
“But he did, and now he’s got the girl. I asked you for thirty days to prove that I want this marriage to be real. After talking to Brady, I realized I’d wait thirty years if that’s what it takes to convince you that you’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I love you, Amber Halla.”
Tears sprung to my eyes instantly, and I swallowed, my lips shaking at the idea that he was that dedicated. That he was in love with me. As broken as I was, he was in love with me.
“Bishop, there’s so much unknown about me. You shouldn’t have to suffer those consequences, too. You deserve better than that.”
He rolled me to him and grasped my face, his eyes boring into mine. “No. Stop. I told you I never wanted to hear you say that again, remember?”
“Sorry, teacher,” I said jokingly, but he wasn’t joking. I sighed when he didn’t even crack a smile.
“Everything from this second to the next is unknown, tart. I could walk up those stairs and have a stroke at the top. I could wake up tomorrow morning and be injured mowing the lawn. We can’t live our lives worrying about the consequences of living. Does that make sense?”
“I get that, Bishop, I do, but this situation speaks to a different place. While there is unknown, what we already know isn’t good.”
He held his finger to my lips. “This is what I know already. You’re incredible. You’re funny, kind, smart, beautiful, loving, devoted, and a million other adjectives that would test my English teacher skills.” I smiled, and he moved his finger after I kissed it. “I know that you’re a little tart in bed. When I think about sinking into you, my dick goes instantly hard, and when I do take you completely, there is this blooming, overwhelming, breath-stealing sensation in my chest that tells me you are the person I waited for all these years. Up until last night, I had never had sex without a condom because I didn’t trust anyone enough not to lie to me about birth control. Once burned, twice shy, as they say. Last night, when you told me I didn’t need to wear one, I just trusted you. That’s what tells me what I already know is good. We are good, Amber. Love at first sight is real, and my love for you is good.”
I wiped my eye on my shoulder and cleared my throat, grabbing his wrist, where he still held my face. “Is that what that feeling is in my chest when you do something incredibly sweet for me, and I’m overwhelmed? Or when you teach me how to come from pleasure rather than determination? Or how every time you sink into me, you pause with this look of total and utter spirituality on your face for a moment?”
“Is that what feeling?” he asked, his thumb stroking away the tears from my cheeks. “Love?” I nodded quickly, his lips tugging up into a smile. “It sounds like love to me, but I suppose it could also be gratitude.”
“I asked Hay-Hay tonight if she thought love at first sight was real.”
“What did she say?”
“She said she calls it souls at first sight. Your soul knows it just met the one person they’re supposed to be with, even if we don’t recognize it at the moment. Sometimes love at first sight is just our souls calling out for each other. Like Haylee, you might deny it because it’s the wrong place, wrong time, or because we don’t think we deserve it. Sometimes we deny it because we’re scared. If that person keeps stepping back into our path, then we should stop and think about that first meeting in a different light.”
“She’s scary sometimes. Has she always been like this?” he asked, his thumb grasping my chin.
“No. Haylee used to be the exact opposite. That changed after someone tried to kill her. It was like the knock to her head turned her into an empath.”
“Or she always was one, and the near-death experience gave her a way to tap into it.”
“Probably that. Either way, what she said made sense to me more than anything else anyone has ever said. You kept stepping back into my path, and I had to look back at our first meeting in a new light. All I could picture was how kind your green eyes were when you immediately picked up on how afraid of the storms I was. I replayed opening my eyes in the van to see you reaching your hands out to me. That was the first time anyone reached out to me when I was vulnerable out of empathy and not obligation. Then you showed up in the bakery, and I agreed to meet you that night for dinner. I don’t
