That got a smile out of her, and she kissed my lips, her breath minty fresh. “I don’t know, Haylee and Brady might try to take that title.”
“Well, they can try,” I whispered into her neck, “but they won’t win.”
“What time is it?” she asked, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s only three a.m.? I must have slept like a rock.”
“You had been asleep since eight o’clock last night. I did some work and then crawled in bed around eleven. You never stirred.”
“Yesterday was stressful. I guess I needed the sleep.”
It had been stressful and emotional for her, and I was glad she got to see Haylee for a few minutes. They have a bond that she and I will never have, and I accepted that for what it was. Sometimes you just need to cry on your sister’s shoulder.
I brushed a piece of hair off her forehead. “I love you,” I whispered, my hand sweeping into her hair to grasp the back of her neck. “We’ll get through this together.”
She smiled that smile that told me she believed something I said was true. “I love you, too. I keep telling myself we’ll get through this stronger than before. I concluded that letting someone help me, look after me once in a while, isn’t going to sink my boat of independence.”
I leaned in nose-to-nose and kissed her lips. “It won’t, you’re right. It might even repair some of the holes, and over time you’ll be able to float longer without help.”
“I think you might be right, teacher. It’s just hard because our relationship is new, and I don’t want to scare you away. I’m usually not this big of a disaster.”
I smiled, my lips finding hers again to tangle with them longer. “Oh, it’s hard,” I agreed on a moan when I ended the kiss. “And you aren’t a disaster. We all struggle, tart. You never asked why I moved to a new job in the middle of the year, did you? You just assumed I chose to find a new job.”
She tipped her head at the thought and then nodded. “I guess I did, yeah. Come to think of it that is an odd time to change jobs.”
“I had been out of work since the summer before when my old school district didn’t renew my contract.”
“Why did they do that?” she asked curiously. “Budget cuts?”
I shook my head but refused to look away from her beautiful face. “No, the district was fine. It was me who needed help. I was sinking into depression, and it was starting to affect my work. I called in all the time, and when I was there, I was irritable or lethargic, I didn’t take direction well from my supervisors, and I argued about every little thing.”
“Seriously?” she asked, holding my hand. “I haven’t known you that long, but I know for sure that’s not you.”
I winked and kissed her knuckles, the sweet smell of her hand lotion tantalizing to my senses. “It’s not, that’s for sure. I’m usually the complete opposite of the person I was back then. Something was wrong. I knew it, and everyone around me knew it.”
“What did you do?”
“I sold my house and moved back to Illinois, where Athena and Sam live. It was Sam and Ken who helped me see what was happening.”
“Sam and Ken? That sounds awkward to me.”
“We’re friends, so it wasn’t. Ken dragged me to the gym every day and made me work out with him. Sam made me eat dinner with them every night and talk. After about two weeks of being there, I started to feel like my normal self again. I was laughing with Athena at the pool, jogging around the neighborhood while she rode her bike, and helping her plan the decorations for her dorm room. The feelings only came back when we talked about her going off to school.”
“Ahhh,” she said, nodding her head in understanding. “Empty nest syndrome.”
I made the so-so hand. “In a way. She didn’t live with me for long periods, so that wasn’t going to make much of a difference in my day-to-day life. It was more like empty life syndrome. Athena was my purpose. She was the reason I went to work every day for the last eighteen years. I had to take care of her and make sure I sent Sam money every month to do that. Suddenly, Sam and Ken didn’t need me anymore. Athena wasn’t going to need me anymore.” She held up her finger, and I grasped it. “I know I was wrong. I know they still need me, just in a different way. I had to spend the summer grappling with what I was going to do when my main focus wasn’t on making sure that little girl I loved so much grew into a decent human being. I’d done that. We’d done that. It does take a village to raise a child. It was Ken who sat me down and told me it was time to stop sacrificing my happiness because of guilt. I was too afraid to live because I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with Sam. It was a hammer to the head, but he was right. That’s exactly what I was doing. I was using guilt to keep people at bay for so long I didn’t know how to face the loneliness I was feeling about being less needed by the only family I had left.”
“But you aren’t any less needed, Bishop. She still needs her daddy. I think us being in a hotel by the airport is proof of that. That’s never going to change until the day you die.”
I smiled, her beautiful eager face filling my heart with so much joy. “I know that now. Last summer changed everything I believed about myself and my life. It set me on a new course of finding happiness for myself, personally and professionally.
