“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I asked, anger making me turn and clench my fists at my side. “Constant message that she’s a punishment? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard today, and I heard a lot of ridiculousness up there!”
Her head shook, and she braced her crutches on the dock. “No, what you didn’t hear up there were the words of your child who wants to move on from the toxic way you treat yourself. You didn’t hear that she wants to live here, with you, and be part of your life instead of living across the fucking country. What you didn’t hear was that she loves you so much that she came to you first for reassurance because she trusts you above even her mother.” She waved her hand on a sigh. “I’m going to sleep at my apartment tonight. You can have your space to decide if you want to continue to be the Bishop who can’t see that the job he’s done as a father more than negates how he became one, or if you want to continue to act like a martyr and send the message to his daughter that her hurt isn’t as important as his guilt. Once you’ve decided that, you can decide if you want to continue this marriage or if you want out. All I want is good things for you, Bishop. If that means you’d rather be alone, I’ll honor your wishes, even if it breaks my heart for the rest of my life. I love you.”
She turned and crutched back down the dock, her form nothing but a shadow in the darkness of the night. I wanted to call out to her, but my pride wouldn’t let me. Maybe she was a little bit too on the nose about a few things. If I admitted it, then I had to accept it. If I accepted it, then I had to change it. If I changed it, then I had to find a new purpose in my life.
She is that new purpose, you asshole, my inner voice said.
I watched her until she made it to the top of the hill, knowing I should have helped her, but also knowing she wouldn’t have let me. I turned back to the lake and sighed. I had two choices. I could go to bed and sleep on it or go to a bar and drink the thoughts out of my mind.
I turned away from the water, ready to go back to the house when there was a scream. I watched as my wife tumbled down the hill, her cries of terror and pain tearing my guts out as I ran.
“Amber!” I screamed, my feet thudding on the wooden planks in desperation, but it was too late. She landed on the edge of the dock with a sickening thud before she sank below the dark water.
“Amber!” I screamed again, splashing into the water and searching for her below the surface.
My hand brushed against her braid, and I found her armpits, carefully dragging her back onto the beach and lying her flat on the sand. “Amber, talk to me,” I said, slapping her face while I checked for a pulse. It was weak, but when I leaned down by her face, she wasn’t breathing.
“Daddy?” Athena asked as she ran down the hill. “What happened?”
“Call an ambulance!” I screamed. “Oh my God, call an ambulance!”
Athena was already on the phone as I opened my wife’s mouth, water pouring from it as I tried to press my lips to hers to offer her the only thing I could at that moment. Lifesaving air.
“Come on, my little tart,” I begged, my lips back on hers to force air into her lungs. “You can’t leave me now. Fight, Amber!”
She sputtered, water spurting from her lips like a fountain while she coughed and tried to catch her breath. I held her neck still, talking to her while I listened to the sirens draw closer. “I love you,” I whispered. “God, never forget how much I love you.”
THE HOUSE WAS QUIET when Bishop carried me in and lowered me to the couch. “Wow,” I sighed, leaning back and taking in the room. “Did the flower shop explode in here?”
He turned me on the couch and propped my bad leg up on a pillow, the lower half of it now in a walking boot since I managed to break the one part of the leg that didn’t have a rod in it. The doctor’s said it would heal in about six weeks, and once the walking boot was off, they’d be able to fit me for the new brace. I was already marking off the days on the calendar.
Bishop chuckled when he
