“All right, then.” She raised one hand and headed out the door. “See you in a couple hours.”
He watched through the window to make sure she made it to the car without being accosted by Bernard. To say that feathered beast was temperamental would be like saying the Sound was a mud puddle. Gerrit had heard him loud and clear that morning, announcing the sun’s arrival at the top of his lungs, but he was nowhere in sight now.
Hannie slipped gracefully into her old gray Toyota Corolla and drove away. How much longer was that thing going to run? It had already been used when they bought it fifteen years ago. He scowled. One more expense to worry about.
She disappeared down the road. Part of him admired her dedication. Her faith. She went to church every Sunday without fail, as if tragedy had never struck. As if their lives hadn’t been crumbling around them for decades. As if it mattered.
Luke used to have faith like that. He used to tell Gerrit there was nothing the world could offer that was worth giving your life for. He’d said God was the only thing worth everything. But God’s reward to Luke for his unwavering devotion was to crush him like a caterpillar under His almighty foot.
Gerrit forced his shoulders to relax, his fists to unclench. He didn’t want God to see how it still affected him, after all this time. Wouldn’t give God the satisfaction. Instead, he shifted his attention to more important matters.
It was now only five weeks until Memorial Day weekend. He’d chickened out on calling Evi yesterday, but this morning was the perfect opportunity with Hannie gone and Evi off work. He could use Easter as an excuse.
His phone waited for him on the counter. Hannie’s phone had all sorts of fancy buttons on the screen that could perform all sorts of wizardry, while he only used his for making calls. As far as he was concerned, that was what a phone was supposed to be for. Alexander Graham Bell would roll over in his grave if he could see the newfangled devices these days.
Hannie used to try to talk him out of his flip phone and convince him of the virtues of a smartphone, but she’d given up on that. A sharp stick of discomfort fell into his stomach straight from his heart, like a branch falling from a tree with a crash. With regard to her husband, was there anything left Hannie hadn’t given up on?
She hadn’t given up inviting him to church. Stubborn woman.
His mother used to say the only person more stubborn than a Dutchman was a Dutchman’s wife. Ha.
He picked up his phone and plopped into an armchair to make the call. He punched the correct buttons, then braced himself.
“Hi, Dad.”
He tensed. She’d answered. And she knew it was him.
“Hello.”
Silence. Daisy sat at his feet, giving him a supportive look. More silence. Why would his daughter answer the phone if she didn’t plan to talk to him?
“What do you want?” she asked.
“What?”
“You called me, remember?”
“Oh.”
“Unbelievable.” Her voice was muffled now, like she had turned away from the phone and was talking to herself. “He doesn’t even know how to talk on the phone.”
He cleared his throat. “Happy Easter.”
“Really?”
It was a perfectly normal thing for a parent to call their child about, wasn’t it?
He tried again. “I found a recipe for baked ziti.”
This time the silence buzzed with tension.
“You called to tell me about a recipe you found?”
“It’s vegetarian.”
“Okaaay.”
He pressed the phone to his ear. “I’m going to make it for Memorial Day.”
Daisy’s face went from supportive to downright sympathetic. He didn’t know how much more silence he could handle.
“You have the day off work, right?” He squeezed his eyes shut to concentrate, not wanting to miss any sound, any clue that might give him a hint about what she was thinking. “There’s no reason you can’t come up—”
“I can think of a few reasons.”
He knew better than to ask.
“Please, Evi. Your mother wants to see you.”
Daisy laid her head on the floor and covered her face with her paws.
“I see. So this is all to make Mom happy?” Evi’s words came fast and strong. “You don’t actually care whether I come or not.”
He pressed a fist to his forehead. “I care.”
“Since when?”
The question was like a torpedo. He was the target. He’d always cared. He still remembered the day Evi was born and how small and delicate and beautiful she looked in his callused hands. How he’d loved her so much he thought he would die from it. But what could he say now? He’d never stopped caring about her. Only about making sure she knew.
“I care.” He said it again, no other words coming when he needed them most. It was like his heart and mind might burst with all the things he knew and felt and feared, yet his mouth could not accommodate them all.
He strained to hear a response, any response, but instead heard only a man’s voice in the background.
Evi sighed. “I gotta go, Dad. Travis is here. Bye.”
Click.
She kept doing that to him. Hanging up. It wasn’t as though he was asking for much. Just a short visit over a long weekend. He wanted to see his kids and talk to them. Tell them he was sorry he hadn’t done better. Been better. They deserved that.
He was beginning to see how little was left of him now that the farm was gone. Maybe there hadn’t been much there before, either. He’d just hidden the emptiness of his life behind stacks of hay and a herd of cows. Maybe he deserved to be hung up on.
Oh, Evi. His baby girl.
Wait a minute. He pressed a fist against the arm of the chair.
Who was Travis?
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
Four minutes wasn’t much time to get from one class to the next. Rae hurried to her locker to fetch her math book and found Kylee waiting
