His stomach twisted. The barn had been built to be a sanctuary for Evi and Noah. Not Rae.
Noah looked around. “The yard looks nice, Mom. You’ve put in a lot of work.”
Hannie clasped her hands in front of her. “That was all your father.”
“Oh.” Noah looked at Gerrit and nodded.
He’d never realized before how much Noah looked like Luke. Talked like him. Moved like him. He gaped at his son as if he hadn’t held him in one hand when he was born, torn between uneasiness over how different things might’ve been if Noah had been Luke’s son, and guilt over his pride in finally having something Luke didn’t have.
His arms were lead, his feet concrete, his throat a dried-up well from which no words could be drawn.
“Come in, come in.” Hannie gave him an inscrutable look and waved everyone toward the house. “Are you guys hungry? Can I get you anything?”
“We’re fine.” Noah laughed. “It’s not like we had to catch a flight to get here.”
Gerrit brought up the rear as they all filed through the door. Had Noah always been so tall? His broad shoulders were thick and muscular, perfect for throwing bales. If only . . .
“Your old rooms are ready for you,” Hannie said. “Dinner’s in an hour.”
OVER THE RED-WHITE-AND-BLUE centerpiece Hannie had made, Gerrit watched Evi pick at her salmon. He followed her movements, enthralled by her delicate fingers. She was the spitting image of Hannie back in the day, except with shorter hair. He had taken a risk serving fish—Hannie had said she ate fish sometimes—and it didn’t appear to be paying off. Or else being back in the house was messing with her appetite.
He couldn’t blame her. Having the four of them sitting around the same table was wreaking havoc on his stomach, too. She caught him staring, and he quickly looked away.
“So. Mom.” Evi set her fork down. “Are we going to be able to see the shop? I haven’t been there in forever.”
“Sure.” Hannie had no trouble finishing her salmon. “Maybe we can swing by there tomorrow after church.”
“Did you make this?” Noah gestured at the centerpiece, burgeoning with geraniums, daisies, and sprigs of some kind of dark-blue berry. “It’s amazing.”
Hannie smiled. “It was your father’s idea.”
Gerrit had failed to manage a bouquet for his wife, but at least the centerpiece had worked out.
Silence fell. He forced a bite into his mouth. He shouldn’t have added so much lemon to the sauce. And what had he been thinking making lemon bars for tonight? Lemon overload. Chef Kellan would call it an amateur mistake. Not that he’d watched Kellan’s Kitchen every night for two weeks in preparation for this weekend.
“Evi, do you think Travis is going to make it on Monday?” The brightness of Hannie’s voice sounded forced.
Evi shrugged. “We’re going to see how it goes.”
Gerrit scowled at his plate. What was that supposed to mean? Well, it wouldn’t bother him any if Travis didn’t show up.
Hannie gave Gerrit a look he hoped was meant to be encouraging. “Your father invited one of his new friends, too.”
He was not encouraged.
Noah leaned close to Evi and spoke in a low, incredulous whisper. “Dad has a friend?”
Hannie was unfazed. “Morgan is a student your father met at this tutoring program he volunteers for.”
“Dad tutors?”
Evi raised one eyebrow. “His friend is a little kid?”
Why did they keep talking to Hannie as though he weren’t even there? He cleared his throat.
“He’s sixteen.” Gerrit’s voice sounded gruff in his ears. “I think.”
Evi looked at him then, really looked at him for the first time since her arrival. He saw questions in her eyes but didn’t know what they were. Maybe she didn’t, either. He wanted to give her answers, give her anything she asked for, but he didn’t know if he could. Just like when she’d been sixteen and stood before him with those same eyes, asking if he was going to make it to her solo performance at the state music festival.
“No,” he’d said. He remembered it clearly. Remembered the dismissal in his voice. “The cows aren’t going to milk themselves.”
Her eyes remained on him as she stood and picked up her plate. “I’m going for a walk. Thanks for dinner, Mom.”
He watched her shove her dishes into the dishwasher and tromp to the mudroom for her shoes. But you just got here, he wanted to say. It’ll be dark soon. But no one said anything.
Evi slammed the door on her way out. She knew very well he was the one who’d made dinner.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SEVEN
Rae almost walked into a tree as she looked at her phone. Another text from David. They’d been texting every night. A smile bloomed on her face as she read the words of his most recent message. He was so funny.
She skirted the tree and slid her phone in her back pocket, fighting back a tiny flicker of guilt. Mom had no idea how much time she’d been spending on her phone. How much she’d been talking with David. But as long as she and David remained nothing more than friends, she didn’t need to feel bad, did she? Mom and Dad were pleased about her job at Schultz and Hardy, and David had said nothing more about their going out on a date after school let out.
Part of her hoped he would forget. Part of her hoped he wouldn’t. Another part of her wanted to run around screaming in the woods like a crazy person.
She’d never felt like this before.
The only thing that kept her feet on the ground was the thought of Kylee and how Rae had hurt her. The last couple of days at school had been unbearable, with Kylee staying as far away from her as possible. She wouldn’t even respond to Rae’s texts. But
