I had never been one to seek out attention. When it came to fame, I couldn't care less. Recognition though? For someone to admit that they actually needed me for once. That I was worth something. That's what I craved. To know that I was good enough, and that without me Sew New wouldn't even be a possibility.
I'd never get that though. Marketing jobs were a dime a dozen, and the truth is if Morgan never met me her dad would have found her exactly what she needed. I couldn't help but feel like a charity case, even though I knew that I brought a lot to the table. The way she spoke to me about what happened with Derek had been disconcerting.
She saw me as weak and spineless, and thought that by pushing me I would eventually push back. But when I did, she couldn't handle it. Maybe neither one of us could? Maybe we were so used to the roles that we'd played for nearly half of our lives that we just didn't know how else to coexist?
When Owen, and I walked back into the hotel lobby, Morgan was sitting on one of the chairs flipping through a magazine. She was wearing her swimsuit, and a large sun hat. Her sunglasses were tucked into the top of her bikini, and her legs were crossed seductively. She did have the decency to put some kind of sarong on, but it didn't leave much to the imagination. When she spotted us she waved excitedly.
“Hey guys! I'm glad you're back. I was thinking we could check out the beach? I mean who comes to New Jersey, and doesn't visit Jersey Shore!”
I gave her a questioning look, before turning towards Owen and doing the same.
“What's with the faces?” She asked. “The weather is gorgeous, and we only have this one day in Jersey. Let's not waste it!”
“Are you... feeling better?” I asked, cautiously.
“Tons. Thank you for taking care of me by the way. I know I can be a pain sometimes.”
“So, we aren't going to talk about the elephant in the room?” I asked.
“You mean the fact that Owen probably doesn't have a swim suit? I don't mind.” She winked.
“And to think... I was going to apologize.” I said with disbelief.
“Oh come on, I was just teasing. Go change, and I'll meet you in the truck.”
I didn't know what to say to her, so I just walked right past her instead. I could hear Owen jogging to catch up to me, and when I reached my room I pulled the key from my back pocket and stepped inside.
“Ronnie, wait!” He said, as he put his foot in the door just before it shut on him.
I turned to face him then with anger in my eyes.
“She couldn't even apologize!” I half yelled. “Even an insincere apology is better than none!”
“What does she need to apologize for?” Owen asked, as he took a few steps towards me.
“Derek tried to sleep with her six months ago, and she didn't tell me. Then, she tried to seduce you. She purposely mentioned him on our first date, and purposely told you that he was moving into our building. And do you know why? Because she wanted me to stand up for myself. Instead of helping me with my self confidence, and telling me the truth about my cheating ex. Instead of telling me that I deserved more than a few random hookups. Instead of building me up, she just kept tearing me down. Do you know what the worst part is? The way that she explained it to me. It actually made sense!”
He held his arms out then, and I walked into them with a sad smile on my face. He wrapped me in his warm embrace, and kissed the top of my head.
“You've known that your relationship with Morgan has been toxic for a while now. The only question is, what do you plan to do about it?”
I pulled away from him then, so that I could look into his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“If what she says is true, and she wants you to stand up for yourself then that's what you need to do. Spend the day at the beach with her, and when you get back... tell her you plan on doing marketing for other companies.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was right. The only way that she was ever going to take me seriously, is if I showed her what I really brought to the table. Maybe our friendship was beyond repair, but that didn't mean Sew New had to suffer. My mind made up, I quickly changed my clothes, and kissed Owen goodbye before making my way back to the lobby.
THE SILENCE BETWEEN Morgan, and I as we sat in the truck on the way to the beach was awkward as hell. I had never known her to be at a loss for words, but I guess there was a first time for everything. The windows were down, and the radio was turned up just enough to drown out the noise from the wind. I couldn't even bring myself to sing along to it. My nerves were taking over, as I thought about all the ways that the conversation we needed to have could go wrong.
After pulling the truck into a parking space, and shutting the ignition off Morgan suddenly turned to face me.
“I'm sorry.” She blurted out.
“For what exactly?” I asked, turning to do the same.
“I should have told you about Derek, and I never should have hit on Owen. I guess I was just jealous.”
“Jealous?” I laughed. “You practically stole Alex from me at Dahlia's. What was there to be jealous about?”
She sighed. “When men look at you they see... more. They see possibilities. When men look at me... all they see is
