“Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything you can sleep in…” He sighs. “Unless you want one of my old t-shirts.”
“It’ll probably a dress on me.” I smile and nod. “That would be awesome.”
I wasn’t exactly planning to sleep anywhere other than my apartment when I left for work. I follow Bram to the room that is confirmed to be his bedroom, and he gives me an old t-shirt from his closet. We say goodnight, and I walk back to the guest room so I can get changed for bed.
As expected, the shirt that fits his powerful frame like a glove is awkwardly huge hanging from mine. I’m still happy to have it since the bra I’m wearing isn’t very comfortable, and my shirt is too tight to sleep in.
I climb into bed and stare at the clock on the nightstand as thirty minutes crawl by. I can usually go to sleep with a little tossing and turning, but the events of the day are just too vivid in my head. There were plenty of sleepless nights I spent worrying about my brother, but once I made the deal with Mr. Diaz, I had a strange feeling of peace; until I took the stage for the first time. I had just gotten to the point where I was finally able to go to sleep again without dwelling on it.
Most of all, it’s the feeling of loneliness that seems to be keeping me awake. I got used to that too, but talking with Bram reminded me how much I missed our interactions. There’s more. I know that. I feel an intense closeness with him, and it’s not just because of what happened behind the curtain.
I just don’t want to sleep alone, not when there is an alternative—not when Bram is right down the hall. My feet hit the floor, and I climb out of bed before carefully walking to the door of the guest room. If he’s already asleep, I’ll abandon my plan.
Deep down, I understand what could happen if I climb into a man’s bed in the middle of the night, even Bram’s. That understanding doesn’t stop me. I carefully walk down the hall and pause when I get to his door. He’s not settled. His bed creaks, and I hear him roll over.
My heart races, and my stomach flips. It’s not because I don’t want to be in his bed.
It’s because I do.
And nothing will happen there that I haven’t been thinking about for a very long time.
Chapter Ten
Bram
My bed has never felt colder.
My heart has never felt so fucking empty.
I made a lot of sacrifices over the years in order to run my company with the attention it needed, especially after Lawson cashed out. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have a wife when I went to war, much less one with a baby and another on the way. I thought the path Lawson took was reckless—a family before he even had a way to support them. We were both kids back then. Maybe he had it right. Maybe I should’ve made a few reckless choices myself.
Now I’m in my mid-thirties with nothing but the careful, well-thought choices I did make to keep me company.
I’ve had girlfriends. More than I care to admit. It’s easy when they aren’t looking for anything permanent—harder when I have to come to terms with the fact I can’t offer it.
Why am I thinking about that now? Hell if I know. It’s been an emotional night for many reasons. I knew what failure looked like in my personal life, and experienced my fair share at the office as well, but I didn’t realize they extended all the way to the Brooks household—to Kiana. I looked at her as a girl with a crush that I often humored to be nice, but it was more than that. When she needed me most, I wasn’t there.
That’s why I can’t sleep.
Kiana is a beautiful young woman now, but the role I used to play in her life was never filled. It should’ve never existed in the first place. Lawson should have been the one she could depend on. Maybe I really didn’t know my best friend as well as I thought I did.
“Are you still awake?” A soft voice causes my eyes to open, and I see a silhouette in the doorway.
“Yeah.” I lift up and nod.
She looks like an angel. Soft skin illuminated by the moonlight. Those blue-green eyes filled with lingering hints of pain and burning with something else … something I saw in the dim lights of the club before she lost control.
“Is your bed okay?” I tilt my head inquisitively. “There are a few more options if it isn’t comfortable.”
“It’s fine.” She takes a step forward. “I just don’t want to sleep alone.”
Fuck. I know what I should do. I should tell her to go back to bed. But I don’t. My fingers wrap around the blanket, and I push it away—an invitation for her to take the last few steps toward my bed and join me. She does. It’s a mistake. We both probably know that, but that doesn’t stop us.
I’m not thinking about the girl she used to be, or the fact that she’s my best friend’s daughter when she moves close to me. There’s an inch separating us—an inch I want to cross but can’t bring myself to do it.
“Will you hold me?” Her soft voice echoes in the night. It sounds delicate—like music I want to hear, even if I shouldn’t.
“Okay.” I move my hand across the final inch and put an arm around her waist. She slides into my embrace and nestles there.
My t-shirt slid up her hips when she crawled into bed. My hand is half on the fabric, half
