“Miss, you need to come with us.” A police officer puts his hands on my shoulder.
“I’m not leaving them!” I pull away.
“Please, the paramedics need to get in here.” He looks towards Hudson. “Sir, I need you to come with us as well.”
“We have to go, Kiana.” Hudson moves towards me.
I fight against Hudson’s grasp, but ultimately relent. He’s right. I can’t do anything to save my father or Bram. The paramedics are the only ones that have a shot. The police start firing questions as soon as we’re outside, but I don’t have any answers for them. I should hate my brother for everything he’s done, but all I can do is hug him.
It feels like an eternity passes as we stand on the sidewalk.
“They’re bringing them out.” Hudson motions towards the entrance of the club.
Neither one of them are being brought out in the body bag and they don’t have a sheet over their faces. That give me some degree of hope. I watch as Bram is loaded in one ambulance and my father is loaded into another. I pull away from Hudson’s embrace.
“I’ll go with dad. You go with Bram.” Hudson nods to me.
I’m glad I didn’t have to make that choice. I know I would have chosen Bram, but I would have felt guilty about it. Hudson moves towards one ambulance and I move towards the other. The paramedics make room and help me up.
“How is he?” I look towards the paramedic that is tending to Bram.
“He’s stable, but we need to get him to the hospital before we’ll know for sure.” He moves Bram’s shirt to the side, and I see where the bullet tore into his flesh.
Bram took that bullet for me. I was so dazed—distraught over what happened to my father. Mr. Diaz intended to kill us all. Bram was the only one who managed to keep a level head and that kept us all alive. For now. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to count all of those blessings just yet.
It’s obvious Bram is hurting. He seems to be slightly delirious. I don’t have a medical degree, but that doesn’t seem like a good sign. The paramedics give him something for the pain that dazes him enough for his eyes to close. I pray they aren’t closing for the last time and tears flood my face.
“We’re going to need to rush him into the ER when we get there.” The paramedic looks towards me. “You stay in the ambulance and go to the waiting room once we have him inside. The doctor will come talk to you.”
“Okay.” I respond with a nod.
I have to leave this in the hands of the medical professionals and the man upstairs. My thoughts immediately flash to my father. Are they telling Hudson the exact same thing? What if he doesn’t make it and Bram does? Will I feel guilty for choosing this ambulance instead of the other one?
I try to shake off the emotional toil everything has taken to me. I can’t be a wreck right now. I need my strength for what is ahead—whatever it is. I don’t want to think about the awful turn this could take.
I’m not ready to lose either of them.
A chaotic scene erupts when the ambulance comes to a stop in front of the hospital. I press myself against the wall of the vehicle and try to stay out of the way while they work on Bram. I squeeze his hand one last time before the paramedics pull him away from me.
Once they are clear, I slide to the ground and look for the entrance to the waiting room. I see Hudson standing on the sidewalk, looking as dazed as I do.
I have conflicted emotions right now regarding my brother. I want to hate him. All of this is his fault. The things he did are even worse than my father’s many sins. I’m just not sure I have any room for hate in my heart right now. I feel like I’ve done enough lashing out against those I love for a lifetime—but forgiveness is something entirely different. Maybe it’ll come in time, but he’s a son that may be grieving the loss of his father soon, no matter what role he played in it all.
“How is he?” I walk up to Hudson.
“He’s…” My brother sighs. “He’s lost a lot of blood.”
“We need to call mom. I don’t have my phone…” I look down for a moment.
“I’ll do it. God knows what I’m going to say to her, but I’ll do it.” Hudson nods and walks away.
I walk inside the waiting room. A sea of sick and injured people mixed with others like me—others that are waiting on news that could change their lives. I find a seat in the corner to wait.
I never thought I would witness the kind of carnage I saw today. Bram and my father served together. They fought together. It probably wasn’t any different for them today than it was in the desert, but I saw a glimpse of war, and I never want to see it again.
“Mom’s on her way.” Hudson sits down beside me.
“How do we even explain this to her?” I look at him.
“You can blame me.” I see tears form in the corner of Hudson’s eyes. “I’m the one that fucked up.”
There was a time when I would have done anything to erase the pain on my brother’s face, but my feelings towards him are so numb now.
“I’m going to get a coffee. Do you want one?” I lean forward and
