I’m not staring at the buildings. I’m staring at her, her body, her hair. She looks so small, delicate, and for the first time in eight years, I want to wrap my arms around another woman.
Love destroys everything. Trust no one.
The voice in the back of my head speaks up, reminding me of why I’ve been on guard all these years.
I press my fingers on the screen and zoom in, tilting my head to look at her shoulder. There’s a huge bruise on it.
IsaacGray88: Looks beautiful. I love traveling. Good to know you do too. What happened to your shoulder. Are you okay?
I’m not going to say she’s beautiful, not yet. The last thing I want is to spook her from saying she looks good when I really only know what her hair looks like.
FinleyPark: Ah, clumsy me. I fell and slammed my shoulder against a rail.
The common ‘I fell’ excuse. It could be the cynical side of me, and maybe she’s telling the truth, but my senses are telling me otherwise. Something happened. I can betray her trust and have Sebastian look into her, but I don’t want to do that. I want her to tell me on her own.
My phone buzzes again.
FinleyPark: Where do you live? Maybe on my travels I can see you. ; )
“Oh, fuck.” I fly out of my chair and run my fingers over the scruff on my face.
“What?” Heaven asks, trying to look over the couch at me.
“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it. I thought I paid a bill, but I didn’t.”
“Oh, that sucks,” he says. “That’s okay. Call them, and it will get sorted out.”
“So positive,” I grit through a forced smile.
FinleyPark: I’m kidding. I’m not trying to stalk you.
IsaacGray88: No, sorry. I was talking to my friend. I live in Trinidad, California. All beaches. Right on the side of a cliff called ‘The Cliff House’.”
FinleyPark: Sounds like a dream.
Wanting some privacy, I head over to the sliding glass doors and step outside, closing it behind me. I bring my phone up and snap a picture, getting the infinity pool in it too. Damn, I live in a beautiful place. It’s warm out, and the sky is clear for the first time in a few days. The ocean is navy blue, and a hint of the cliffside can be seen across the way.
Muscle memory takes over, and I sit down on the red patio couch Quinn picked out. I get an idea and tap my fingers against my thigh, debating if I should do it. Fuck it, right? It’s all or nothing. I shrug my shirt off and toss it on the couch.
Step out of your comfort zone. Not everyone is bad. People can be trusted.
Why am I taking off my shirt? Because I have a nice body. Even if she only sees my back, I want her to know how good it looks. I want her to find me attractive. I know the easiest way would be to show my face. I want to see hers too, but I’m afraid our banter will change from joking to getting to know one another to sexual. I let sex ruin my life before. I had sex with Kendall on the first date and in the end, she was the one who fucked me over.
I’m not going to let my hormones get the best of me. At least, not yet.
I place my phone on the table and set it against the umbrella rod. I swipe the camera open again and angle it in the direction I want. I set the self-timer to ten seconds and run into place near the pool’s edge and turn around, giving her my back. I tense so my muscles seem more defined and shove my hands in my pocket as I stare out toward the ocean. When I hear the click of the camera, I run back and tap the thumbnail in the bottom left corner and analyze it.
“What are you doing?” Heaven leans against edge of the sliding glass door and crosses his arms.
“Nothing,” I answer and send the picture to Finley. I’m not going to chance him finding that photo of me. I click the gallery app and delete it. It’s only for Finley’s eyes.
“Your shirt’s off.”
“It’s hot out,” I say simply. “I’m thinking about going for a swim.” Heaven wobbles from the doorway to the patio table, sits down, and lifts his casted leg to the empty chair in front of him.
I don’t like how hard he’s staring at me. I shuffle my feet and plop on the red couch again, hoping my phone goes off.
“I think you were taking semi-nudes,” Heaven says, lacing his fingers behind his head. “There’s no judgement. I get it. I think semi-nudes are hot. It sends a tease of what’s coming but not too much. It leaves the mind to imagine. Good for you for doing that. So how old is this chick? Do you like her? What are your plans?”
That overwhelming emotion I wanted to ignore? Pointless since Heaven exists. “Nothing. We’re just friends right now. I don’t want to be anything more. I like getting to know her. There isn’t any pressure. She’s traveling right now and sending me pictures of the sights.” It isn’t a lie. She is sending pictures. I grab my shirt off the cushion and debate if I want to put it back on. It’s nice to feel the sun. I’m always locked away in my room or on a mission.
I rub my fingers along the scar on my side, where the metal rod pierced me in the explosion on our last job. It hurt like hell, but I’m lucky, unlike Heaven, who broke his leg in two places. The rod went through and through, hitting nothing vital. Every now and then, I get a twinge of pain, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.
What would Finley think about
