No one.
I kept the pain locked inside and tried to survive every day.
“I’ll get you your transplant, okay, buddy? You saved me. It’s my turn to save you. I will. We are going to have a long life together, you and me. There’s so much I want to teach you. We need to go to the beach. I want to teach you how to fish. You need to go to school, and you can come home and tell me about your first girlfriend. You need to learn how to change a tire, and you need to know how to treat a lady. You have to be around for your prom because while dancing sucks, it’s a fun night. Life is all about fun, and you haven’t had a lot of that, which is bullshit since you’re only eight-years-old. I want to give you that, Dillon. It’s my job to give you that, so I promise”—a tear drips down my face—“I swear, I’m going to give you that, and I don’t care what I have to do or who I have to take it from. You deserve to grow up. You deserve to feel love. I hope you don’t experience heartbreak, kid, but it’s a part of life. I’ll be there, though, and before you know it, you’ll be falling in love again. You have to experience your first love. You have so much else to see, so much to do, so many people you need to meet. So much love left for you to experience.” None of this is fair. “I want to see you get married one day, and I know you say girls are gross, but, son, I’m telling you, they aren’t. Without a woman, a man isn’t much except two hands and a hard head. They teach us how to love; they soften us where it counts.” I lay my hand flat over his heart and feel the tiny thump under my palm. “Or kids. Kids do the trick too, but you aren’t allowed to have kids until—you know what? That’s a conversation for another time.”
“Hey.” Finley’s voice breaks my rambling thoughts of fear. I’ve almost listed all the things I’m afraid I won’t get to see him do. I’m begging him to do the impossible. I’m begging him to beat a disease that’s stronger than anything on this planet.
I clear my throat and wipe my cheek on my sleeve. I’ve never been more emotional in my life. Even when I was in prison and Kendall ripped my heart out of my chest, I never shed a tear for her. I hated her, sure.
Awakening with clarity, I realize I never loved Kendall enough to cry over her. Here I am, crying over my son, crying in front of Finley, and I know if anything ever happened to her, I’d lose my damn mind.
Yeah, the right woman brings love and softens a man. I’ve been stone fucking cold for far too long.
“Hey, how much did you hear?”
She sits on my lap and lays her head on my shoulder, smelling like freshly picked fruit from her shampoo. “All of it.”
“I mean all of it.”
“I know you do. And you want to know what I think?” She leans away and places her hand on top of mine and Dillon’s. “I think he’ll be fine.”
Dillon’s body wiggles, and a groan has me out of my chair so fast I nearly drop Finley. I lean over Dillon and stroke his cheek. His forehead creases, and I imagine if he had brow hair, his brows would be pinched together right now. “Hey, buddy. You’re safe. I’m here. Dad is here.”
He blinks his big brown eyes at me and somehow manages to smile. “Daddy,” he says sleepily.
Yeah, I’m not ready to not hear him call me that. If Kendall is the donor, she’s about to be in for a rude awakening. Not only will I take her marrow, but I’ll take her life.
Just like she took mine.
Chapter Twenty
FINLEY
Since Dillon doesn’t have a bone marrow transplant lined up, Grayson wants to take him home. The doctor who flew in from Portland wants Dillon to stay in the hospital until he finishes his last two chemotherapy treatments.
Grayson is yelling at Doctor Gladstone.
Doctor Gladstone is calm, collective, and nodding as if he understands Grayson’s dilemma.
“Grayson is going to get a different doctor and probably hire one to come to the house so Dillon can be more comfortable,” Owen says, standing next to me.
“I believe the doctor knows what’s best,” I reply, leaning against the wall to watch Grayson’s hands fly in the air as he rips the doctor a new asshole.
“Oh, definitely, but Grayson, he doesn’t think with logic. Not like the rest of us. He runs on emotions. If there is one thing that dude does, he feels tremendously. It’s like everything is heightened for him. It’s what makes him so good for the team, in my opinion. All of us are bastards, but he gives a damn, about everything. When sometimes, he shouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t say he cares about everything,” I mumble, thinking about how deep his hate runs for Kendall, especially now that he needs her more than ever to see if she will save their son’s life.
“Oh, I know,” Owen chuckles. “You have to remember, when it comes to feeling so deep, there are bad feelings too. His vindictive side is ten-fold. Whoever fucks with him and his, he will fuck back. This Kendall bitch has had it coming. It’s about time he laid his past to rest.”
“I don’t know how we are going to get ahold of her. What if we can’t find her in time?” I don’t know Dillon all that well, but I want to know him. He’s such a sweet kid, and if he dies, Grayson will be beyond devastated.
“You let me worry about that,” Sebastian says from behind me, his deep voice causing me to jump in my skin a
