"I don't have a clue about raising kids."
"You were one once. Just remember the good times and try to repeat them, and let the bad times be a lesson for what not to do. Child services should be your last resort. It's not that they're a bad organization. They do wonderful things for kids, but if you're her father, do you want to put her in a system where she'll most likely see several homes before her eighteenth birthday? Where she'll always wonder what was wrong with her for her parents not to want her?"
He groaned and scrubbed his face with his palms. "I never wanted kids."
She pushed herself against the back of the booth. The more inches she put between them, the safer Alex was. Generally, she wasn't a violent person, but she was a fierce protector when it came to children.
"If you didn't want kids, you should have made sure you were shooting blanks."
Alex's body twitched. "I always use protection."
"Nothing but sterility is a hundred percent. If you whip out the fun gun, you need to accept the responsibilities of firing it."
Looking like a ghost dripping sweat, Alex nodded. "I hate that you're right, but you are. Do you know where I can get a paternity test?"
Maisey dropped off the nuggets and fries to Maddie. "Sorry sweetie, Ben ran out of the frozen ones and made these especially for you. They're not nuggets, but chicken fingers."
The sweetest giggle came from Maddie. "Chickens don't have fingers."
Mercy looked over her shoulder to see Maddie's tears had dried, and a hint of a smile played at the corners of her lips.
"You're so smart," Maisey told her.
A full-blown smile appeared on Maddie's face showing a single missing tooth that made her look more adorable than ever.
Mercy leaned to the side so Alex could see. "That, right there, should be your goal every day. I imagine she's seen enough sorrow for a lifetime. Make her smile, Alex. A million childless people would want to be in your shoes right now." She was one of them.
"As for the paternity test … see Doc. If he can't do one, then I'm sure he knows someone who can. Until you know, don't make decisions that you'll regret later."
"I've got a lot to think about."
Mercy inched toward the edge of the booth. "Don't think, do, but make sure it is the right thing." She got up and took a seat across from Maddie.
While the little one gobbled up her chicken and fries, Mercy said a silent prayer that she'd be all right. She glanced over her shoulder to where Alex sat stiffly. His face took on the green hue of a kid who ate something bad. She could let herself feel sorry for him, but what good would that do? Alex wasn't the one who was homeless and at the mercy of an adult who didn't want children.
That seemed the way of things. Those who wanted children couldn't have them. Those who did often didn't want them or couldn't provide for them.
What she wouldn't do for a man to show up and tell her a child was hers. It was a crazy, impossible scenario, but she'd be overjoyed. Hell, she'd even be thrilled to have a woman show up and tell her she had Randy's baby and hand the child over to her. It didn't matter whose body a child came from. What mattered was whose heart they'd live in.
On that thought, she gathered her things. "You keep the crayons and the fish. I've got to go, but Alex is right there, and he'll take care of you." She hoped she was right. "Hopefully, I'll see you soon." Before she packed up, she gathered her things and stood to leave. "Maisey is right. You are a smart girl." She bent over and kissed the top of Maddie's head. "Be brave."
She walked past Alex and said, "be kind."
"Wait a minute. What's your name?"
Mercy almost told him, but she remembered the video. "It doesn't matter. Do the right thing and be the best you."
"What if the best me is sitting here, right now?"
She rubbed her temples. "Learn to be better."
Chapter Six
Alex moved from his booth to where Maddie sat coloring fish. "Did you get enough to eat?"
She nodded and went back to decorating the fish.
He watched her a few minutes. She was a lefty, just like him. Her hair was darker than his, but in the same range of brown. It was possible that it fell in the color range between his and her mother's.
She looked up from her coloring and cocked her head to the side.
Staring at each other, they were like adversaries analyzing the opponent.
Maddie slid a fish across the table. "Here."
He glanced at the fish and blue crayon she gave him. How long had it been since he colored anything? His childhood wasn't crayons and sandwiches with the crust cut off. It was holding Mom's hair when she threw up or checking on her in the middle of the night to make sure she didn't drown in her vomit.
"You want me to color one of your fish?"
She nodded.
He picked up the crayon and made stripes from lips to fins. What was he going to do about this little girl? He needed a plan and fast.
Maisey moved by. "Do you two need anything?"
His gut twisted. "More than anyone can provide at this point. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Looks to me like you're coloring, and that's a start."
The crayon broke under his tight grip. "Can you tell me how to get ahold of the doctor in town?" What he needed more than anything was confirmation. There wasn't much sense in making plans if Maddie wasn't his.
"I can do better than tell you; I can introduce you." She stepped back and pointed to an older man sitting in the corner, reading
