"Nervous? Not about the show."
What else would he be nervous about? "Do you need to talk about it?"
"I'm just working some stuff out in my head. You gave me a lot to think about when you told me I needed to prove it."
A pang of guilt pricked her heart. "I may have been too hard on you."
"No, I don't think you were. One thing is for sure, and that's I need you."
"You need me?" That was a stretch for a man who could have anyone, but she liked how it sounded.
"I do. You're wise and kind, and your priorities are straight."
She laughed. "My priorities have to be, or I'm homeless."
"I'd never let that happen to you." There was a pause. "I miss you, Mercy. More than I ever thought possible, and I'm so sorry I disappointed you."
"I'm sorry too. We're learning all this together. Children are my specialty—"
"Bet you didn't expect to have a thirty-eight-year-old kid on your hands."
"That wasn't even a thought in my mind. I was going to say that children are easy, but this adulting stuff is tougher than it looks. I miss you too. When you get back, can we start over again?" She held her breath, waiting for his reply.
"No."
Her heart tumbled to her gut. "No?"
"I don't want to start over; I want to continue. We took a detour, but that doesn't mean I want to start at the beginning. I like where we are."
"You in California and me in Colorado?"
"No. Together where it matters, where our hearts collide."
"You should write that down. It sounds like a love song."
"Do you want me to write you a love song?"
Her heart rose from the pit of her stomach to dance in her chest.
"No one ever has."
"Then I'll write you a love song."
She couldn't help the roll of her eyes that he would never see. "Shouldn't you be in love with me before you write me a song?"
"Who says I'm not?" His name was called in the background. "I've got to go, but if you're watching tonight, I'll blow you a kiss."
"I'll be watching."
When they hung up, she stared at the TV and saw nothing. His words kept moving through her head in slow motion. Who says I'm not?
She picked up her phone and dialed her mom.
"Hello, Mimi, how's my baby girl?"
"Mom, I think I'm in love."
In the background, she could hear the grinding of mom's kitchen chair against the tile. "With the drummer?"
Over the weeks, they had short conversations about Alex and Maddie, but she didn't divulge much because her mother coined the phrase, "enquiring minds want to know," and there were no boundaries when it came to her mom.
"Yes, the drummer, but he's more than that. He's a good man and an excellent father, despite not having a role model."
"More importantly, is he good in bed?" There was a crackling of paper and a hum from her mother.
"What are you eating?"
"Skinny Pop, this is going to be good, and I needed a snack."
"I'm not divulging details." She wasn't going to give her mom the blow by blow. "But I'll say it's amazing." It truly was. She never had her body sing for a man, but Alex knew how to pluck the right strings, hit the right notes, and bang out a perfect rhythm.
"Come on, Mimi; it's girl talk."
The crunch of popcorn filled her ear.
"Let's just say that I've never ever felt like I do when I'm with him."
Mom laughed. "Take a picture of my grandbaby and tell her Grandma already loves her."
"Aren't you moving a little fast?"
"I don't think so. Things tend to move faster when there are two things to love. Hell, if you got a puppy before he left, you'd hit the trifecta."
"What about the groupies? I have to trust him, but it's hard."
"He doesn't need to be on tour to have a love affair. They can happen from the safety of your couch."
Mom was right. There was always someone willing and waiting. "I know. I've got to trust."
"It's okay to be cautious with your heart; just don't make him accountable for another man's sins."
"It is hard not to because Randy blindsided me. But I am learning that not all men are like him. Alex is one of the good ones, and I think he loves me.”
"Oh, honey, how could he not?" More crunching. "What time did you say that the awards show was on?"
"I didn't, but it's at seven."
"Gotta stalk my future son-in-law. Maybe he can teach your dad to play the drums. As we age, we lose some of that dexterity, or maybe he's gotten lazy."
"Dad? Lazy? I doubt it." Her parents never lost their appetite for each other. That's what she wanted.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Alex stood on the stage, looking at the crowd and listening to the roar of adoring fans. All the while, he wished he was in Aspen Cove with Mercy and Maddie.
"You ready for this?" Pablo asked.
"I'm set." He'd been ready his whole life. It's what he thought he wanted—the love and adoration of fans and respect of his father, but now that he was here, it felt hollow as if somehow he chased the wrong dream.
A glance at Maddie's teddy bear, which he set on the amplifier, made his heart ache for his little family. That's exactly what they were, his family.
Pablo counted off the song, and the drummer set the pace. It was surreal to stand on the stage where his father had played so many times.
In his hand was Dad's favorite guitar that Alex rarely played because it seemed sacred. But it wasn't. For far too long, he'd worshipped the wrong things; he knew that now.
The band played three of their biggest hits, and just before he left the stage, he blew a kiss at the camera and hoped his girls got it. He swiped Maddie's bear and headed toward the greenroom.
Backstage were the groupies, with their plumped lips and bouncing breasts. How was it that he'd been content with
