My heart leaps at her confession, but I’m still concerned that she won’t look at me.
“He kissed me, but I didn’t kiss him back,” Cynthia says. “And if you don’t believe me, that’s fine, but I swear, it was nothing.”
I can’t watch her struggle anymore. I take a step toward her and cup her cheek in my hand. “I know, Cynthia, I believe you. I’m so sorry. I was just so bad that there was a chance you didn’t know how I felt about you. How I love you.”
Cynthia freezes, and at long last her eyes snap to mine. “You do?”
“Yes.” I lean down and brush my lips against hers. I feel her body softening, and she leans into me slightly. “I love you, Cynthia Lannon, and I want us to be together.”
I try to deepen the kiss, but Cynthia draws away. She places her hand on my chest and leans back.
“Wait, don’t say all that just now,” she says. “Please, don’t.”
She turns and walks back toward the couch. I stare at her tense shoulders. She’s got something else to say. My mind runs through the possible devastating things she could tell me. She might say she doesn’t love me back. Or that she has decided to give it a try with Tommy after all. Or that it’s not worth it, she doesn’t want to be tied to some middle-aged guy as she enters medical school and moves to a city as big and exciting as New York.
“Cynthia, what is it?” I ask. I move to the side in an attempt to see her expression.
She bows her head, and her hair falls in front of her face.
“I’m so scared,” she whispers.
My heart lurches in fear. What has gotten her this shaken? I begin to panic. She’s ending it. Tonight was too much for her. My apology is too little too late.
Cynthia turns and faces me. I can tell how much strength and willpower it takes for her to straighten her shoulders and meet my eye.
“I found something out just now,” she says. “When I came back here, I realized something, so I confirmed it. And I know I have to tell you.”
She pauses, and I stare at her. I’m at a total loss for words.
Cynthia opens her mouth, then clamps it shut. Whatever she is about to say, it’s hard to get it out. I wait. At last she speaks.
“I’m pregnant,” she says.
The world stands perfectly still. Of all the things I thought she was going to say, I did not see this coming.
It’s crazy and totally not part of the plan, but even so, I feel a small seed of pure joy sprout inside me. She’s pregnant. She’s clearly scared, but she’s come to me.
And deep down, I’m happy. When I told her I wanted her in my life, they weren’t empty words. I’m prepared to build a life with her, whatever that might look like.
“Cynthia.” I reach out and wrap her in my arms. “I’m here, ok?”
She buries her face in my chest, and at long last, I feel her relax. She lets out a few sobs, but I can tell they’re more of an emotional release than anything else.
“How do you feel about it?” she mumbles into my chest.
“How I feel doesn’t matter as much as you.” I guide her to the couch and sit down with her in my lap. “Tell me everything.”
“You do matter,” Cynthia says. “You’re the father.”
At the word “father,” an involuntary smile twitches my mouth.
“You’re happy about it,” she whispers.
“My main concern is you,” I say. “This is your choice. As for my reaction, I want to build a life with you. I thought I would never want to commit to anyone again, but you’ve changed me. and I don’t want to do things halfway. I want it all with you. I know I’m older, but I’m willing to give you the time I have.”
Cynthia throws her arms around my neck and kisses me full on the face. I move my lips across hers with hunger. We have a lot to discuss and a lot of decisions to make, but everything is much better than it was half an hour ago. We’re together, and we can figure this out as a unit.
Cynthia pulls away and starts to spill the details. “It was that time we did it without a condom. I told you I knew my dates, but I must have miscalculated because I was so caught up in it.”
“I shouldn’t have done it,” I say. “I should have been the responsible one.”
“I knew you would say that,” Cynthia says. “But I’m the one who begged for it.”
I place my hand at the nape of her neck and tip her head back so she can look at me. “This is something we should have planned and discussed. But now that’s happened, I want you to know that I support you either way.”
Cynthia nods. She looks down to where she’s placing one hand on her stomach. I want to cry just thinking about her growing a life inside her. Something that belongs to the both of us. If not now, then later, at some point.
“I want to keep it,” Cynthia says.
I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. “Really?”
“I know it’s unplanned and it makes things complicated, but I love you, and this baby was created out of love,” Cynthia says. “So it feels right. And I want it.”
I hold her to my chest as tight as I can. “This doesn’t make things complicated. It makes them simple.”
“What do you mean?” Cynthia gives me a quizzical look.
“You’ll start medical school in the fall,” I say. “Plenty of people have babies and families while in med school. It’ll be tough, but I’ll be there to help every step of the way. We’ll move to the city together, and I’ll find a place for the both of us.”
Cynthia’s eyes get wider and wider with every word I speak.
“I’ve
