“You don’t remember? Crap, I shouldn’t have said anything. You were pissed.”
“I’m about to be pissed all over again. Spill.”
“Okay, well, last night got a little out of control. You went back into a private room with some guys to do I don’t know what and I was nervous for you. Carson tried to stop you, but you wouldn’t listen to reason.” She’s wringing her hands in front of her and avoiding my gaze. “Your sister had nothing to do with this, I want you to know that. It was all me.”
“What was all you?” The words erupt from between clenched teeth. I’m beyond frustrated and want her to get on with whatever the hell she did. At this point, I don’t care, I just want to know.
“I found you in the back room. You were doing coke with about three guys and I couldn’t leave you there alone, but I was scared. Carson didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t want to drag her into this scene so, I, uh, well, I called your brother.”
For fuck’s sake. Why is she always calling Lucas to tattle on me? “But he was at his bachelor party.”
“Wow, you really don’t remember.” She rubs a hand over her forehead. “He and his friends came to take you home. He was not happy you put yourself or me in that situation. I had most of the other girls with me, but we couldn’t get you to leave. I didn’t know what to do.”
“But that’s still like, four hours of time missing if Carson left around one and I didn’t get back to the room until five.”
“No, it wasn’t that bad. You see, by the time Luke showed up, you were all over this one guy, one of the dancers. We had to fight to get you to come with us, but Lucas scooped you up and threw you into the car. By the time we got back to the apartment, you’d all but forgotten about the guy you were with. You kept saying something about Liam and if he could sleep with his ex you could get laid too? You weren’t making a lot of sense. We plied you with coffee and water and made sure you weren’t going to pass out and get sick. Luke stayed for a while to make sure you didn’t kill me; like I said, you were furious, screaming about how sisters were supposed to watch out for each other, not tattle. But I want to be clear when I say this was me looking out for you and—”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Keep going.”
“Okay, right, anyway you were wired, pacing the room, nonstop on your phone and then around five you literally said out loud ‘I’ve had enough’ and stormed off to bed. It’s like Luke and I weren’t even here. He left to get some sleep and I passed out in my room after you went to bed.”
I’m quiet for a long time, not sure what to say. My emotions are split a million ways. Part of me wants to thank her for not leaving me and I’m even a little grateful she called my brother, not that I’ll tell her that. Another part of me is upset and she doesn’t think I’m responsible enough to take care of myself. I’m an adult, for Christ’s sake. A third part of me is wallowing in guilt knowing I was all over another guy and also knowing I ruined Olivia’s bachelorette party and she spent the night taking care of me instead of enjoying herself.
Then there’s the biggest part of me that is terrified to look at my phone. Liv said I was on it nonstop all night. There’s only one person I would’ve attempted to contact, especially with how pissed off I was.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and swallow my pride knowing what I have to do. With a deep breath, I say the words I never in a million years thought would ever come out of my mouth.
“Shit, Liv, I’m sorry. You should’ve been the one doing coke with strippers, not babysitting me.” Her face contorts. I wouldn’t peg her for the coke-head type, but you never know. “Th-thanks for calling Luke.” The words are a mere whisper, but the room is dead silent; I know she heard me.
“You’re welcome?” She’s unsure what to say, and I don’t blame her. “And don’t worry about it. It was almost like practice for kids, watching after you last night.”
“Well, if you’re lucky, your kids won’t turn out like me.” I dig into my sister’s bag and grab the bottle of Advil shoved to the bottom. I pour four pills into my hand and swallow them all with a large glug of water.
I notice how quiet the room is. I know this is why Carson never wants me around her daughter. Clearing her throat, my sister sits up straight on her bed and a small smile pulls at her lips.
“So…your boyfriend’s name is Liam?” Sonofabitch.
In my drunken haze last night, I talked about him. If Liv and Luke heard it and now Carson knows…I can’t let them tell Mom. She knows my therapist’s name is Liam. Sure, I could probably convince her it’s a coincidence, but it’s not something I feel like dealing with right now. Or ever.
“How did you meet him?” I sit down on the far corner of the bed away from my sister and future sister-in-law.
“Can the three of us make a sister promise and keep this a secret? Look, I’m not ready for Mom or Daddy to find out about him yet, not even his name.” I hope by preying on their emotions that they cave and take this to the grave. “That goes for Luke, too,” I point at Olivia, hoping she catches my drift. She
