“Yeah, I do.” It’s the first time I’ve ever admitted it out loud. I haven’t even told Liam yet, but now I can’t wait to say it back to him.
“Flynn, this is dangerous. You get that, right?”
“I’m not an idiot. You don’t even know half of how complicated all of this is. But it won’t change anything. You should know more than anyone that you can’t choose who you love and you can’t fight it.”
“Yeah, I know.” She sits up on the edge of her chair as if leaning in close to me will make the words sink into my head better. “But the difference is, Liam could lose his job and his license. Have either of you thought this through, the implications of it? What’s the plan here, Flynnie? What happens when he loses his job for you? It’s not like you have a job or a degree or anything but your trust fund to contribute and you won’t get that for a few years.”
“I get it, Carson, okay? You don’t need to spell it out for me. Why can’t you just trust that we’ll figure it out and, I don’t know, be happy for me for once in your life?” I’m screaming at her at this point, years of emotion bubbling over the surface. Everything that’s happened lately is coming to the surface and fuck, it feels good to yell and let it all out.
“Because it’s illegal, Flynn. I’m happy therapy is working for you and you seem to be doing good and you’re opening up to love, but you can’t do this. Not with him. There are other guys out there. Suitable ones your own age who could be good for you. You’re young. You don’t see it now, but—”
“Really, I’m young? You’re the one who got knocked up when you were younger than I am now. You were ready to marry Maddox then, convinced you were soulmates. Are you going back on that? Are you forfeiting everything you once believed just to make a point?”
“Don’t bring him into this.”
“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”
“You want the truth? I don’t know! I don’t know if we’d still be together if Maddox were alive. Does that make you happy, hearing me admit it? He and I were young. I can’t say for sure whether he and I would’ve made it.”
We’re both standing now, breathing heavy and staring at one another. I don’t know when Liam came out of the room, but he wraps an arm around my waist and my heart rate calms instantly.
“I have a plan, but I’m not ready to discuss it. I don’t want you to think Flynn influenced any of my decisions directly, though everything I’ve done since meeting her has been for her. I love her and I’m going to take care of her. Arguably, I am the best person for her. I’m sorry if you can’t understand and accept that.” His tone is calm but pointed.
If she doesn’t agree, she can get the hell out.
We all sit back down on the couch. Even my sister, who I thought was going to storm out of here. She watches us with eyes like a hawk, unwavering and not saying anything for a long time. Liam sits beside me but keeps a comfortable distance between us, likely to not make my sister more uncomfortable. Even now, when he’s upset, he puts everyone else first.
“I just want to understand,” Carson finally speaks up. Her soft tone is curious. She’s begging us to explain this to her, but I don’t know how many more ways we can explain ourselves. “Why would you want to be with someone so much younger than you? It’s nothing against my sister; I know she’s great and beautiful. I get that. But…” The sentence hangs, as if she can’t find the words.
“Flynn is the first person who’s made me feel alive in a very long time. If you remember, my daughter passed away from cancer six years ago. Grief changes people. I was married for a long time and we grew apart. It got ugly and we got divorced and things were very dark for me for a very long time. Flynn helped pull me out of that. When I look at her, I see hope. For both of us. Her age was a factor in the beginning and I tried to stay away from her when I learned she was my patient. But no matter what, we kept coming back to one another. I’m done fighting.”
It’s a stark reality that we have to explain our relationship to my own family. They’re the people are who supposed to love and support me unconditionally. This is the reality I’m choosing for myself and it sucks. People are too judgmental. Even if the world doesn’t know he’s my doctor, we’re always going to get looks from people simply because of our age difference. Fifteen years is not that much. It’s not like he’s sixty, for Christ’s sake.
“Okay.” The one word hangs in the air as my sister takes a sip of her water. “I think it’s time for me to head out. I’m sure Wren and Ava are wondering where I am.”
“Are we good?” It’s quite possibly the first time in my life I’ve worried about what my sister thinks of me.
“I just need some time to process.”
“Are you going to tell Mom?” I walk her to the door and her shoulders slump with the question.
“No. I’m going to let you tell her.”
Twenty-Six
Flynn
“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show her face for once.
