“Counselor?”
“Indeed.”
“What are you…?” she began, then paused. For a moment, she seemed to be attempting to solve a particularly vexing math problem. Finally, she lifted her eyes to his and said, “Icheb told you I wanted to speak to my mother. You arranged for the call, didn’t you?”
“I did,” he said, relieved she had worked that out on her own. “Did it go well?”
Gwyn stepped back and released a deep breath. “I think so, yeah.”
“Oh, good. Mothers, daughters, you know it was possible for that to have gone wrong in so many ways, but…”
“Does this mean we have to have another session right now?” she asked, clearly hoping the answer would be no.
“I am very curious to hear what insights into your current situation your mother might have been able to offer. Was it helpful?”
“It was. She did,” Gwyn said vehemently. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
Cambridge considered her carefully. Whatever revelations had come from her discussion with her mother had obviously had a profound impact, but she’d had no time yet to process them.
“Would you be willing to come to my office for a few minutes to discuss that further?” he asked. “I don’t generally conduct consultations in the corridor.”
“Can we do this later?”
“I’m afraid not. It has been my experience during our relatively brief sessions that you are disinclined to engage in the therapeutic work that will enable you to integrate our current reality with the trauma you recently endured.”
“I know. I’m a terrible patient. I’m sorry.”
“It’s my job to make sure you have begun that process before returning you to active duty, but as it happens, your services are required on the bridge. I have been charged with clearing you for that duty.”
“What duty?” Gwyn asked.
“My office, please.” Cambridge gestured for her to follow him and she did so, walking briskly to keep pace with his long strides. By the time they arrived there, Gwyn’s impatience had clearly grown exponentially.
“Feel free to sit,” Cambridge began.
“I don’t have time for this right now,” Gwyn said. “I’m fine. I understand now. I’m better. Can’t we just leave it at that?”
“Better how?”
Gwyn exhaled a long, frustrated breath.
“I know this is difficult for you, Ensign. But you are about to be entrusted with the lives of a hundred and fifty people who need you to be at your best. Unless I am satisfied of that, I will not put them at risk.”
“I was angry, okay?”
“Was?”
“It’s terrible to be separated from her. Now I know that’s normal. I know it’s never going to change. And I guess, I know it’s also survivable.”
“That definitely sounds like progress.”
“I was trying to find a way out—a loophole—anything I could do to take it all back. But I don’t want that anymore. Whatever I’m needed for, I assume it has something to do with finding the Galen. I want that. I want to help. If I can be part of the solution to this problem, I promise I won’t let you or anyone else down. Let me talk to the captain. I’m sure he’ll agree with me.”
Cambridge considered her vehemence. He wanted very much to believe her. Both Chakotay and Paris had pressed him to return Gwyn to duty, even temporarily. But he found it impossible, or at the very least improbable, that she was suddenly capable of managing the stress of her current predicament. Her desire to once again be close to the child with whom she had bonded could lead her to reckless acts that could jeopardize the mission and Voyager’s crew. The call to her mother had been a last-ditch attempt to help her face the magnitude of what she had done, and it seemed to have accomplished that. But his gut told him she was still telling him only what she knew he wanted to hear.
“I will speak to the captain,” Cambridge said, knowing he would recommend Chakotay find another pilot if Gleez wasn’t up to the task ahead.
“Wait,” Gwyn said. “Please.”
“I’m sorry, Ensign. This was premature.”
“No, it wasn’t. It isn’t. Look, metamorphic bonding is probably going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Because, for the first time in my life now, I’m more concerned about the needs of others, the child, my friends, you, everyone, than I am with my own. I’ve been selfish. I’ve been stupid. I’ve wallowed for too long in how this change has hurt me rather than remembering how much it’s given me. My mother reminded me that had I not chosen to bond I would have died. That tiny little human saved my life. I’m asking you for the chance to return that favor. Let me save hers.”
It wasn’t everything Cambridge needed to hear. But it was enough to force him to reconsider.
“Can you at least tell me what the mission is?” Gwyn asked.
“My understanding is that Voyager and Vesta are about to set course to intercept the rogue star and engage in a slipstream maneuver meant to alter its course.”
“That sounds challenging,” Gwyn agreed. “But surely Commander Paris is more than capable.”
“Commander Paris is unavailable,” Cambridge advised her. “He is currently piloting one of our runabouts as part of an away mission led by Commander O’Donnell and Lieutenant Patel.”
Panic rose in Gwyn’s eyes. “Devi’s doing what?”
“She and O’Donnell are currently on board a runabout that has been transformed into a temporary lab facility where they are interacting directly with the Edrehmaia substance sample they collected from DK-1116. Commander Paris is with them.”
“Who has our helm right now?” Gwyn demanded.
“Ensign Gleez. However, the captain would prefer you take the conn once we move into position to alter the star’s course.”
“I violently agree with that assessment.”
“As does he, but…”
“If you’re not convinced that I’m ready to return to Voyager’s conn, you could transport me to the runabout and let Commander Paris take over for Gleez. Babysitting a small ship holding position
