“I thought that song about Dave giving you head on the last album was just lovely,” giggled Lizzy.
Ev wasted no time in lobbing a cushion at Lizzy’s head. “Shut up.”
“And it went to number three on the charts,” said Anne.
“Should have been number one with a bullet. A small compact but highly effective travel-size bullet.” Lena smacked her matte red lips together. “You kids and your sex toy euphemisms in the lyrics. So sly.”
“I don’t know why we’re friends,” said Ev with laughter in her eyes.
Lena joined in on the giggling.
“If I stay, I should just learn to suck it up. That’s the lesson I’m getting here.” I swirled my wine in the pretty glassware.
“Rock stars,” grumbled Ev. “What the fuck can you do?”
“They’re the poets of the modern generation and no topic is off-limits.” Lizzy sighed. “The important thing is to not lose sight of yourself amongst all of the grime and glamor.”
Willie Nelson played softly over the hidden speakers.
“Relationships can be all-encompassing. Claustrophobic even. Traveling together and working together just ups that.” Anne popped a cherry tomato from the charcuterie board into her mouth. “You need to have your own life and interests and defend them vigorously.”
“No, you don’t!” Mal popped up behind the couch, sliding his hands down over his wife’s shoulders. “I am your whole world.”
“Who has the baby?” asked Anne.
“Ah, Adam. Yes. I left him with junior.”
“You know Tommy freaks him out.”
“Yeah. It’s hilarious.”
She clicked her tongue.
And sure enough, Adam was indeed frowning down at the small bundle of joy held tentatively in his arms. Adam and I as parents… What a strange idea. Tommy waved his little arms in the air while my ex watched as if the baby were about to explode or something at any moment. Not sure I’d ever seen such naked fear in his eyes. Ben the bass player sat nearby, keeping an eye on things while Dave and Jimmy both played guitars softly.
“Ben’s watching him,” said Mal with a smile. “Relax, pumpkin. For I am a good and noble father.”
Anne smiled back at him. “I know. I just worry.”
“Of course, you do.” Lizzy passed her another tomato. “You two went to a lot of trouble to make him. But everything’s fine, Anne. Relax.”
What I liked was the warmth these people shared. The connection they all had.
“We haven’t even told you how impossible it is to be around them when they’re in the middle of recording,” said Ev. “It’s like their minds are permanently elsewhere. All of their thinking space is taken up with creating the great work.”
“That’s true.” Lena crossed her legs. “And that’s why you need your own life and interests.”
“Nonsense,” said Mal, still lurking over the back of the couch. “Anne worships me, and her life couldn’t be fuller.”
“I work in a bookshop when I’m not on tour,” reported his wife. “I love it.”
“But all the books in there are about me, right?”
“Oh sure.” Anne grinned. “It does imbalance the store sections a little, but I’ve made it work.”
“Too much in the romance section, you mean?”
“Actually, it turns out most of the store is taken up with mental health books.”
“Because I make you crazy in love?”
“Absolutely, that’s the reason. I am crazy, and I do love you,” she faithfully repeated, patting his hand. “And Tommy.”
Across the room, the baby gurgled, and Adam kept right on frowning down at him. Never had I seen a grown man so perturbed by something so small. It was kind of fascinating. A little person, half me and half him. Our little person. How amazing and terrifying would that be?
“There’s no rush,” murmured Ev with a soft smile. “David and I have things we want to do before thinking about having children. That’s still out there someday. And from what I’ve seen, babies are way more work than you can ever imagine.”
“I believe you. But honestly, I don’t even know if Adam and I should be together,” I admitted, my heart on my sleeve.
She blinked. “Well, do you love him?”
God help me. “Sadly, that was never the problem.”
Her smile softened even more. Like she’d been through her own share of doubts and heartache. “Take it one step at a time then, I guess. I don’t know. It’s easy to be smart for other people when it isn’t your soul on the line. Love can hurt like a bitch. But it can be beautiful, too. David taught me that.”
“Hmm.”
Mal cleared his throat, leaning closer. “Thing is, even scared shitless of my small innocent child, that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. Not that you can be personally responsible for someone else’s happiness in life, etcetera. But if he makes you half as happy as you obviously make him, might be worth hanging around for a while. Seeing where things go.”
“Huh,” said Lizzy. Because this obviously wasn’t an even remotely private conversation. “That was almost wise, Mal.”
He sniffed as if insulted. “I’m wise. I know stuff. Tell them what I know, pumpkin.”
“Stuff,” she dutifully once more repeated with a smile and a wink.
“Hey. Psst. Want to run away from the party and go have sex in our apartment while our friends watch the baby?” he whispered far too loudly in her ear.
Lena snorted. “Go do it, you crazy kids. We’ve got Tommy.”
“Yes!” Mal jumped to his feet, hands raised in the air like a boxer in his moment of victory. “Sex. Quick, pumpkin. Let’s go.”
There was laughter and drinks and food and music. Lots of music. Most of my friends were swinging single, living their best lives. Going to parties and having fun being free. It was interesting to be around a slightly older group who were all coupled up. Back when we were together, I’d enjoyed having a partner most of the time. Some of the time. Like Adam, he’d been my first real major important relationship. I hadn’t lived with anyone else before. Not a someone I was
