“Sorry,” the man said as he sidled past their table. “Shh, honey. We’ll see Santa, but we have to wait in line.”
The noise around them was getting louder now—other excited kids, Christmas music, even a few dogs barking. Goody didn’t normally allow dogs in her shop, but it seemed like she was relaxing the rule at Christmas.
“Hannah would probably be a little jealous at first,” Erica said, speaking up over the crowd, “but I bet in the end, she’d be fine with you having a relationship. She’s such a thoughtful kid. And she wants the best for you.”
“Yeah, and she worries about me.” Amber leaned closer to her sister so she could be heard. “She did the whole, ‘I’m gonna go to community college here so I can take care of you’ thing at Thanksgiving.”
“Hannah?”
“I know, right?” Hannah was the last kid who’d want to stay local and limit her ambitions, at least in any ordinary situation. But having a mom who’d been terribly sick, not once but twice, wasn’t exactly ordinary.
Erica frowned. “She might feel more like she could go on with her own life if she knew you had a partner and she didn’t need to look after you. But whether or not you’re seeing someone, you know I’ve always got your back, and Hannah should know it, too.”
“That’s what I told her.”
Erica cupped a hand around her ear and shook her head, and Amber smiled and shrugged and waved a hand. No point in trying to have a serious conversation now, with the crowd growing by the minute.
But she couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling in her head. If Amber were in a relationship, maybe Erica was right and it would be a relief to Hannah. Only because Hannah would feel reassured that Amber would have someone to take care of her.
But Amber couldn’t impose that on Paul. He had enough on his plate. And besides, he’d taken her advice to heart and was dating someone else.
Trying not to be obvious, Amber looked around to see if Paul and Davey and Kayla were still here, but from this sitting position, she couldn’t see them.
She ought to be glad about it. Paul and Davey needed a woman in their lives. And oh, how she ached to have it be her, but there was no way.
Erica scooted her chair around so she was right next to Amber and practically shouted into her ear. “What if you were a hundred percent healed now, sure you wouldn’t have a recurrence? What would you do about this thing with Paul?”
Wouldn’t that be a dream come true, to have what she’d long ago stopped taking for granted—normal health? “It still wouldn’t work.”
“Why not?”
Amber hesitated. “Can you keep a secret?” she asked finally. She’d promised not to tell, but telling Erica wasn’t really telling. Erica was the most trustworthy person on the planet.
Erica nodded. “You know I can.”
Amber leaned closer and spoke into Erica’s ear. “Davey’s not really Paul’s son. Wendy told me, shortly before she died.”
“What?” Erica’s mouth fell open and she stared at Amber. “He has no idea?” she asked finally.
“None.”
“You’ve got to tell him!” Erica’s expression was shocked, but the conviction in her voice left no room for doubt.
“I can’t,” Amber said. “What if it pushed him away from Davey, and Davey had to go live with those awful grandparents?”
“But what if there’s a genetic issue? We of all people know how important that is.”
That was something Amber had avoided thinking about. “You’re right, but...I promised Wendy I wouldn’t tell. Anyway, I don’t even know who the father is. What good would it do to tell?”
Erica’s forehead wrinkled and her mouth twisted to one side. “Right, sure. So you’re going to keep quiet and leave him to someone else. To Miss Harris the schoolteacher.”
“Exactly.” Amber leaned back and crossed her arms.
“Come on, then.” Erica stood and took Amber’s hand and tugged at it. “If you’re doing so fine, let’s go say hi to him and Davey.”
“I’m not that fine!” Amber protested. “But I do want to get out of here. It’s a little close.” In fact, she felt almost dizzy from all the emotion as well as the crowd.
“This way.” Erica dragged her toward the exit, which was near Santa.
“Miss Amber!” Davey’s voice rang out, sweet and high above the noise. “I’m gonna see Santa!”
Could she pretend she hadn’t heard him?
No, she couldn’t. Slowly, she turned, focused on the child’s sweet face, and walked over to the line of people. “That’ll be really fun,” she said to Davey. She didn’t look at Paul.
“I know!” Davey bounced up and down.
“Hi, Amber.” Paul’s voice sounded strained. “Do you know Kayla?”
She met his eyes then, and the communication that flashed between them was intense, and nonverbal, and she knew exactly what it meant.
You told me to date other people and that’s what I’m doing.
Fine. I’m not arguing with you.
But that kiss...
“We’ve met.” Kayla’s voice sounded funny. Wry, almost.
“Nice to see you,” Amber lied, and then she couldn’t look at either adult anymore. Thank heavens for Davey. She knelt to his level. “What are you going to ask for from Santa?”
“A ’lectric train!” Davey half yelled. “A really, really big one!”
Amber lifted an eyebrow and looked up at Paul. “Is that Davey’s idea, or yours?”
“Busted,” he said, a grin starting to form on his face. Then he looked from Amber to Kayla and the grin faded.
Amber couldn’t stand it anymore. Her heart ached and her throat felt tight and there was no way she was going to stay here and cry. She stood. “I’m sure Davey will love a train,” she forced out. “Nice talking to you.” She turned to Erica, who’d been watching the whole exchange. “Come on, I need some air.”
And some space. And some recovery time because seeing Paul with another woman felt kind of like being hit by a really big train.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“SO, HOW LONG HAVE
