“Angel,” Jeanne whispered, taking a cautious step towards me, and I tried to surge back again. Dakota kept me firmly in place once more, and the tears filling my eyes spilled free. Agony radiated from my soul while I wondered if she meant to slap or strangle me. One soft sob led to another until I cried into Dakota’s shoulder while he tried to calm me. As before, it was all I could do to not wail my sorrow and grief. How could I cause the deaths of three people, all who were related to me? I robbed Matty of his mother, and four people of their beloved children.
My self-loathing rose until it choked me, and I literally couldn’t breathe. “Angel, please, let me finish explaining before you lose yourself,” Ryker pleaded, but I couldn’t. What more was there to say? Well, other than the part where he tells them that every one of their children died because of me. Not to mention the danger lurking in Matty’s life because of my monster. I can’t do anything right. My birth itself was a curse. Dare I ask how I killed my mother?
Another sob tore from my throat, this one so strong it hurt. I tried to swallow my pain, to keep it from taking me over even though I already lost that battle, but all I did was make it worse. I was a blight on the life of anyone who dared to love me. How long would it be before I killed Matty too? That caused my heart to constrict while my mind decreed I should leave him before I snuffed the life of the person who gave me the will to live. The pain in my heart was so great I couldn’t stand straight, even though ghostly hands tried to hold me up as did Dakota.
Ryker kept trying to calm me, and I tried to stop the agony radiating from my soul, but I wasn’t strong enough. A cough escaped my lips while exhaustion stole over my body, and suddenly my legs weren’t strong enough to bear my weight. My entire body was so heavy I feared I might break the floor and the ground underneath it. As my legs collapsed, a door closed, and another set of muscular arms supported my weight. Dakota’s presence filled with shame and trepidation, which pulled my mind from the pit of despair it wallowed in. Jax, on the other hand, brightened.
A tender kiss to my forehead allowed my chest to relax enough for my lungs to pull in a deep breath of air. With that, my mind cleared a little. As if the fresh oxygen cleaned away a cobweb that blocked the window of an attic. The second time lips pressed to my forehead, my legs stopped shaking, and I could stand on my own again. By the third one, I was still tired, but my limbs no longer felt like they were made of lead. “That’s it,” Marcus murmured, and the tears that finally stopped filled my eyes once more. I couldn’t look at him. I could not bear to see the disappointment or accusation in his eyes. How could he ever love me when all I brought was death?
“Tch. And back into the abyss of chaos you go. Why are you so determined to despise yourself, sweetheart? What’s so terrible that you’ve lost your will to live? I know Matty’s fine because I already cornered Riff, albeit I didn’t dare face the little boy who loves you more than his life. So, what burned your world to the ground and salted the ashes?” Marcus asked in a voice so tender another sob tore from my throat.
I tried to warn him to go away, that I would only kill him inadvertently, but I couldn’t force my voice to work. The only noise that escaped my mouth was a helpless sob that shook my entire body. “Our little stray has latched onto only the darkness upon learning the truth of her past. Were it Matty, she could show him a thousand rays of light within it, but Angel does not recognize her worth. Thus, she believes it to be her fault. I’m afraid the nicest thing to do is to be cruel,” Ryker explained. When Marcus made a questioning noise, although he tensed as soon as the vampire lord spoke, Ryker sighed. “All right, little one, what makes you so powerful that you could control adults before you were born?” His words were spoken gently, but that didn’t soften the harshness of them, and I flinched.
“I fear you must catch me up if I am to help,” Marcus muttered when another sob burst from my throat.
“Jax had a twin sister, but she grew up in another pack, and he spent his summers with her. Molly, the woman Angel believed to be her mother, was their stepsister, although she is Matty’s mom,” Dakota explained in a voice devoid of emotion. However, I sensed the chaos swirling within his soul that he muted due to my meltdown. Yet another sin of mine.
“All three of these people have tragically passed and the only thing they have in common besides each other is Angel,” Ryker added quietly. I flinched from the truth of his words.
“Angel!” Jeanne gasped, and I sobbed again. Seconds later, I was pulled into a gentle, but firm hug that I couldn’t escape although I tried. “Now, you listen to me, little girl. Neither of my daughters would see you as the reason they died. Nor would Jax. Even if your existence opened the door to the circumstances of their deaths, it still wasn’t your fault. How can an infant or child be blamed for what happens
