We fell into an easy silence as we sipped our tea. I was pouring a second cup for John when I saw a quick movement on my right side. It was Mrs. Burk disappearing behind a pillar. She had been watching us. How much had she heard? In my agitation I sloshed tea over the side of the cup into the saucer.
“I’m sorry, Reverend Crossman. It’s been lovely getting acquainted, but I should be checking on my sister.”
“Charlotte, what’s the matter?” he asked, but I was already standing, hurrying off, leaving him crestfallen behind me.
Chapter Twenty-two
That night I lay awake, plagued with guilt, and the prickly humidity didn’t help. I kicked off my bedspread and lay on my back, my damp cotton nightdress sticking to my clammy body like the fuzzy skin of an overripe peach. I didn’t even bother to wipe the endless sweat from my forehead.
I should have told Hari what I was up to, but it all seemed so innocent at the time. I hadn’t expected to be quite so taken with John, to find him so commendable and, at the same time, charming and fun-loving. I was at a loss as to what to do, so I got up, lit a lamp, and wrote to Wiggles. It was a long, newsy letter full of my escapades to date. I knew she would cherish every word as she lived my adventures vicariously, but I ended it with a note about John, confiding my fledgling feelings for him. I planned to include the letter in the packet to be sent back to England. I returned to my bed, slightly relieved at having gotten my thoughts out on paper.
The next day, the ship was buzzing with excitement as Bermuda was clearly visible in the distance. Tomorrow, we would anchor in the Royal Naval Dockyard and, though no one was allowed ashore, the ship would be bringing fresh food and water on board along with the mail and some broadsheets from London. The promise of news from home had everyone in high spirits, and we received an invitation from Sir Richard and Lady Persephone to attend a dinner party to mark the occasion.
Anxious not to squander her opportunities with Lady Persephone, Hari was determined to go. She had just finished her last quarter dose of laudanum, and her health had blossomed. The dry, tight skin around her mouth and eyes had regained its plump, youthful suppleness. The lank, brittle hair she had struggled recently to tame lay coiled in a smooth, shiny knot atop her head. I was heartened to see her yellowing, cracked nails had become milky white once more. Her moods were more stable and predictable as well, and I did my part to not let anything upset her.
As we finished dressing, I took Wiggles’s necklace from my jewellery box. It made the perfect accessory to my evening gown, and it felt right to mark this occasion by wearing it.
I was admiring it in the mirror when Hari came to my side. “I couldn’t have done this without you, Char. You’ve helped me regain my health and my sanity.” She put her arm around me. “Not to mention my hope. I have faith in the future once again, no easy task after what’s happened, but we got through it together.”
“You did the hard part, Harriet.”
“Is Dr. Carson happy with the compensation? Was it enough money?”
I dropped my eyes to my jewellery box and fished around for some earrings. “He’s fine. No need of more money.” I didn’t like lying to her, but it had been the only way to get her to agree to stop taking the laudanum. And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t lied for my protection in the past. Of course, I now realized with some regret that my work with Dr. Carson was at an end. I had enjoyed ministering to the crew and I would miss many of them. I had grown rather attached to seeing their faces each day.
As we made our way to the dining room, I felt a flutter of nerves in my stomach at seeing John now that Harriet was with me. How could I pretend there was nothing between us? Would he mention our tea? Would Mrs. Burk?
A section of the main dining room had been roped off for the exclusive use of the private gathering and everyone was honouring the celebration in their best formal attire. We entered and joined our usual group, who all congratulated Hari on her return to good health.
After complimenting Hari, John lingered by me. “Lovely to see you again, Charlotte. That’s a beautiful necklace. Is that the one Wiggles gave you?”
Hari raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
My hand went to the pendent, and I felt my cheeks grow warm. “Yes, yes, it is. Thank you.”
Harriet pulled me towards the table. “Since when did he start calling you Charlotte? A little presumptuous, don’t you think?” she whispered as we took our seats.
I shrugged, and then Captain Hellyer sat between us, putting an end on our conversation.
After Reverend Burk’s signature long-winded grace, the conversation flowed freely with speculation over the political happenings in England since we’d left. Near the end of the soup course, Mrs. Burk began to speak loudly and soon dominated the discussion with her complaints about the second-class passengers’ poor attendance at their regular Bible study sessions. Then, she suddenly turned to John.
“My husband tells me that you marry the gold miners to the Native women. I thought he was making a joke. Is it true?”
“Surely everyone has the right to a church marriage if they choose?” John said.
“The women are heathens, and the men are only with them for convenience,” Reverend Burk said. “Heathens can’t be married in the High Church. Maybe you are better off in England, Reverend Crossman, where these ideas are popular with some of the bleeding hearts. Ideas like yours cause
