He held a letter in his hands. “It’s from my brother,” he said. “My father’s had a stroke and can’t manage the estate anymore. Andrew has taken over for the time being, but… it’s my duty to return. Today. In a few minutes.”
Despite my anger towards him, I knew what it was like to have a sick parent. At the same time, I couldn’t help but suspect he was going back to Agnes.
“I’m very sorry, John. I know how much you were looking forward to your work in the colony, but maybe this is for the best.”
He looked up at me suddenly. “What do you mean?”
I took a deep breath. “John, we can’t be close. You’re betrothed to Agnes. I know all about it. Reverend Burk told Hari.”
John flushed. “Burk is an idiot. He thinks he knows everything, but he understands little of the real story.” He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Charlotte. That man gets under my skin. What I’m trying to say is that Agnes is the daughter of my father’s best friend. The two men betrothed us when we were just five years old. It was partly a joke at the time. I have never taken it seriously, and I don’t feel any obligation towards her.”
It seemed like such an easy response, and I didn’t trust it. After all, what was Agnes’s side of the story?
“Does Agnes know you have no intention of marrying her? There must be some reason why Reverend Burk thinks you are betrothed. What is Agnes telling people?”
“Up until now I haven’t given it much thought. Perhaps she and her father are trying to pressure me, but I would never marry her. I want to marry you.” He reached forward and took my hand. “Since that dinner the first night of our journey, I was attracted to you. And later when we talked over tea, I felt a connection like never before. Come with me now; we’ll have the captain marry us.” He smiled. “You’ll be the first of the brideship women to become a wife. We’ll return to England together.”
I could hardly comprehend what I was hearing. I knew I should feel happy, ecstatic. Wasn’t a proposal everything that I was working for? But all I felt was numb. I wished Harriet were here to advise me. Would she tell me to follow my heart? But where was it leading me now?
“Charlotte?” John said. “Will you marry me?”
I tried to picture my life with John if I said yes. Upper-class English society was a small world. Gossip traveled like wildfire. John’s friends and family would hear stories about me if I returned as his bride. And then there was the stigma of my sister’s divorce on the grounds of adultery. It was in all the papers. The thought brought with it a wave of sadness and anxiety.
While my future in Victoria was murky and unclear, the picture, however dim, didn’t frighten me as it once did. If anything, it was an opportunity to start over. I remembered the foreboding I felt when Charles had pronounced what had felt like a life sentence in the colony. But instead of a punishment, I now saw it as an opportunity, a chance at freedom. I didn’t want to give up on it. As much as I cared for John, I knew it wouldn’t work.
“No,” I said, pulling my hand from his. “I can’t marry you.”
His eyes widened. “I seem to be buggering this whole proposal up rather badly. Look, come with me now—there’s little time, the jitney is leaving soon. We’ll sort everything out in due course.” He gestured to the door. I remained where I was.
“John, I can’t. I can never return to England. I plan to start a new life in the colonies.”
“I care deeply for you and no one else. However poorly I presented it, my proposal is sincere and heartfelt. I think we could be happy together, if you would just give it a chance.”
I didn’t respond to his final plea, letting the silence hang in the air. His eyes reddened and grew wet, then he turned his face from me and left the cabin. I stood there on the threshold, uncertain for a moment, before slowly latching the door behind him. He was gone. Back to England. I tucked my jewellery box away next to Hari’s. Tomorrow, we would set sail for Victoria, in the colony of Vancouver Island.
PART THREE
The New World
Chapter Thirty-one
There was a hint of autumn in the air as the tender from the Tynemouth slowly approached the city of Victoria’s inner harbour, and I pulled my shawl tight around me as if to steel myself against what was to come. But nothing could have prepared me for my first glimpse of my new home.
All manner of men, well-scrubbed and in their Sunday best, stood thick like lemmings on the edge of a seaside cliff, ten or twelve deep in some cases, jostling and pushing each other for a better vantage point. Some men hung off lampposts, while others sat dangling their legs from rooftops, and still others took turns hoisting each other in the air for a better look.
It seemed as though every red-blooded, single man, and some I guessed who were not so single, was here. I heard later that hundreds of prospective bridegrooms had come from as far north as the Cariboo goldfields and as far south as Washington Territory.
As the men caught sight of us, a great roar went up. Next to me in Sarah’s arms, Jacob startled at the sound and began to cry.
“What on earth?” Sarah breathed.
Just before we reached shore, Florence Wilson leaned in close to me. “One of us needs to speak up for the rest, and we don’t trust Mrs. Burk to do it. The
