I looked around to make sure everyone was minding their own business. "Like what?"
"We want to see the body of the deceased," Betty demanded.
"Deal," I agreed.
Later, when the girls were in the van, Kelly took me aside. "Nice stall, but how are you going to pull that off when they realize you fooled them?" She looked me up and down. "You don't know about a corpse stashed somewhere, do you?"
"Technically," I said slowly, measuring my words, "I don't need to dig up a corpse because…"
"You didn't!" Kelly stared at me. "Tell me you didn't bring Aunt June with you."
I lowered my voice, glancing at the car. All five girls had crowded in the window and were looking right at me. "It seemed mean to come here without her. I thought she should see the place one last time."
Kelly got between the troop and me. "She can't see. She's a corpse. No, scratch that, she's a pile of ash. No offence."
"Right," I said quickly. "The girls get to see a body without really seeing a body. I think it's a win-win."
Kelly sighed. "I can't believe I drove a pile of ashes here so that they could get one more glimpse of Behold, Iowa, home of the world's largest human tooth."
"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid," I mumbled.
"It is stupid." She thought for a moment. "Where is she?"
"In that box I set down by the fireplace earlier."
Kelly shook her head and threw her hands in the air.
"Okay, I should've told you," I said.
She folded her arms over her chest. "But you didn't."
"Well, duh! Because you would've said no."
Kelly nodded. "Yes. I would've said no. Because it's a body."
"Fine. I should've consulted you," I griped.
She narrowed her eyes. "Yes, you should have. We always go over everything before a troop trip."
"Yes." I pointed at her. "But this wasn't supposed to be a troop trip, was it? I was just coming up here for the day to find out what was going on. You turned it into a troop trip."
Kelly lowered her voice. "Nonetheless, it is a troop trip, and we should follow all of our usual protocols."
A slow smile spread across my face. "We can't call this a troop trip."
"Why not?" My co-leader's nerves were getting frazzled. "We've travelled three and a half hours away with half the troop and are staying at a Scout camp!"
"Because you didn't get permission slips," I announced triumphantly.
Permission slips were a nonnegotiable part of any activity, and the Girl Scout Council required them for everything outside of a typical meeting. Not getting those signed forms from the parents was the equivalent of kidnapping the girls and holding them for ransom (although with most of my girls' parents, they'd most likely pay us to take the girls away). Kelly was hardcore about permission forms, and I'd even seen her threaten parents when they dropped off a girl without one. She always kept blank forms and pens in her purse, just in case something came up.
Except for this time.
The color drained out of her face. Without saying it directly, I was basically accusing her of not being the mature one. Or worse, of violating the Scout rule by being unprepared.
She didn't talk to me the whole way to the camp.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Back at the cabin, it took an hour to unpack our gear and for Kelly and me to insist on the lower bunks. That was a tougher battle than anything because it's very difficult to escape from a top bunk without stepping onto the bottom.
"Can we have a fire?" Betty produced an acetylene torch that I hadn't packed. "We can do it in the fireplace instead of outside."
"Tomorrow." I thought about the urn in its box next to the fireplace.
No fire tonight. It might lead to discovery of the body, which the girls might decide overruled the deal of not sneaking outside tonight. For a bunch of ten-year-olds, they knew how to find loopholes like a noose maker at a rope convention.
Once everyone's teeth were brushed and every little body was in bed, and after multiple promises about seeing Aunt June's remains, Kelly and I turned out the light and climbed inside our sleeping bags.
And then my night of foiling constant attempts to sneak out commenced. I was pretty good at it too. Over the years I'd mastered a death glare that could be seen in the dark. It was 95% effective too. The other 5% was Betty.
Fortunately, we didn't need it, as everyone passed out quickly. Eventually, I did too.
The next morning, the girls raced through boxes of Pop-Tarts because I'd said that the sooner we got to the house and checked it out, the sooner we could come back and explore the camp. I might have thrown out the words ghosts and aliens just for extra motivation.
Exploring Aunt June's house would be just as dangerous as Girl Scout-eating bluffs and dodgy ghosts. This place had its own dangers in the form of three deadly spiders, a scorpion, a frog, and a caterpillar. And I'd have to figure out how to handle that before the girls could think they were cute and want to adopt them.
On the drive down the bluffs and into town, we took a back way. It seemed that all of the town's businesses were on the main thoroughfare. Everything else was residential, with modest houses and a church every now and then. While they didn't share the decaying appearance of the downtown area, these houses were all ranch style or split level. I didn't see anything old that indicated that the town was the oldest in Iowa.
"That's it!" I pointed out the window as we approached.
The large, three-story Victorian was brown with teal accents. It was beautiful and intimidating, resting on the Mississippi with bluffs on one side and at least a two-block length of grassy yard on the other. It
