"Well, then," he said. "This is the way I wanted to find you." Rex frowned. "Wait, is your hair green and white?"
"Hey, honey," I said evenly. "I'm thrilled you're here."
He leaned against the doorway. "You don't sound like it."
"Sorry about that." I didn't change my bland tone. "It's just that there's a golden poison frog on the edge of the tub, and he might kill me at any moment."
Rex's eyes went to the edge of the tub. The frog seemed not to notice his presence. It was still fixated on me.
"What should we do?" he asked.
"Well," I said in a calm voice, "I was hoping you'd have an idea."
"Hold on a minute." And then Rex disappeared into the bedroom.
"Um, honey?" I asked quietly. "This is how you help? By leaving?"
"I'm looking for something," he shouted.
The frog took a step closer, cocking his head again.
"Hurry, please." I kept my voice soft and steady. No point in freaking out the frog.
"One moment," came my husband's voice.
"This really isn't helpful." My voice cracked.
Rex reappeared holding something, but my eyes were on the frog. How fast could I move? I was in water. Water that was now turning cold. I could bring up my hands to block, but that would have the same result. Dammit. Why didn't I do more research?
"Okay, Merry." Rex took a step closer. "I'm going to try something. I need you to hold still until I tell you to get out. Then you have to move quickly, understand?"
"Since those are the only options, what choice do I have?"
"Not much," he said.
My husband lunged toward the tub just as the frog leaped toward me. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as something black flew toward me alongside the frog. Just as it was about to land on my face, it disappeared.
"Ta-da!" Rex was holding the frog inside a black stocking cap.
My breath went out of me in a woosh, and I rose unsteadily from the tub. I flailed a little but grabbed the tub's sides. A lot of people die in their bathrooms. I didn't want to dodge a killer frog only to hit my head on a bathtub with the same result.
Rex reached out with his empty hand and steadied my arm. I grabbed a robe on the back of the door. It felt like I was adding a layer of armor to my skin in case the frog escaped.
Then I dove into my husband's arms and shuddered.
He wrapped his one arm around me and buried his face in my neck.
"Are you okay?"
It took a second to compose myself. "Of course." I pulled away. "I've been in dangerous situations before."
"Yes, but I wasn't there to hold you after, was I?"
That was a fair point. But I couldn't let him think I needed a man to comfort me. Usually I just went back to wherever I was living and ate an entire chocolate cake to come down. I didn't have that option here.
He held the frog inside the hat and looked somewhat disappointed when I got dressed.
"What should I do with it?" Rex asked.
"I'd say put him in his enclosure. But I haven't figured out how to do that yet."
Rex held out the hat.
I waved him away. "No, thanks."
He followed me downstairs and into the kitchen, where I found a water pitcher. He dumped the frog inside, and I added a layer of aluminum foil with holes in it to the top, securing it at the rim with a rubber band. Then I slunk into a seat at the table.
Rex walked to the counter, found a bottle of sherry, and brought two glasses back to the table. He poured one for each of us, and I guzzled it down. I wasn't a huge sherry drinker, but it was technically a wine, so that counted. I held out my glass for more. My husband obliged.
"What are you doing here?" I asked after another glass.
"I took a couple of days off. Ed Carnack stopped by last night. His cousin had called and said you were causing trouble. And since they aren't used to you in this part of the state, I thought I'd better stage an intervention."
His eyes went to the frog, who was sitting in the pitcher, staring at me as if he was on a mission or had a contract or just really liked green hair.
I took a deep breath. "Your timing was perfect. I don't know how long I would've lasted."
Rex nodded and continued, "I went out to the camp to surprise you, but Kelly said you were here." He looked up. "This is quite a place. What are you going to do with it?"
"I have no idea." I tapped on the glass, which seemed to intrigue the frog. "Burn it to the ground, maybe?" I spotted the cap and reached for it.
Rex looked at me, and his eyebrows went up. "What is it?"
"I found the exact same cap at camp in the middle of the night."
"It's a pretty basic black wool cap," Rex said.
"Not in Iowa in the summer."
Very carefully, I opened it, glancing at the inside. No label. No slimy venom. I told Rex everything I knew. Back home during an investigation, I probably would've held things back until I figured them out. But Rex wasn't law enforcement here. And maybe he could help.
An hour later, Rex rummaged through the freezer, where he found a frozen pizza. He turned on the oven and sat back down while it heated up.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"Normally, I wouldn't overrule another member of law enforcement. But there's something wrong here."
I agreed, "My spydy senses are tingling."
Rex laughed out loud, and I realized I'd never told him that before. "I have something similar, but it's just intuition. And right now, something tells me that people seem to be hiding things from you."
"How about it, Ferguson," I teased. "Will you stick around and help out?"
He stood up
