"Yeah, I know what that is." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Betty, who was standing next to me, writing that tidbit down for future use, just below Finish watching The Untouchables.
"Again, I'm sorry I wasn't here to meet you. I've never missed that with a troop. Not in all my years as a ranger."
"It's fine, really," I insisted. "Toad was here to help us. She showed us everything."
The color drained out of Ned's face. "Toad?"
"She was great," I said again. "You're totally off the hook."
"Toad?" Ned croaked.
"That's her camp name," Kelly said as she glanced at the girls. "Older woman?" She went on to describe the camp director.
Ned's eyes bulged. He turned and looked off into the distance then back at us. "You couldn't possibly have met Toad. She died five years ago. Fell off the bluffs while phoning to tell me she'd seen a UFO."
I looked at the girls, who all nodded in agreement with Ned.
"I told you there was a ghost," Lauren said before she followed the other girls into the van.
After a few moments of standing there in silence, Kelly said, "Maybe neither one of us is that smart."
I thought about that as I opened the passenger door. "Yeah, it's probably better that way."
* * * * *
FREE BOOK OFFER
Want to get an email alert when the next Merry Wrath Mystery is available?
Sign up for our newsletter today
and as a bonus receive a FREE ebook!
* * * * *
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Leslie Langtry is the USA Today bestselling author of the Greatest Hits Mysteries series, Sex, Lies, & Family Vacations, the Merry Wrath Mysteries, the Aloha Lagoon Mysteries and several books she hasn't finished yet, because she's very lazy.
Leslie loves puppies and cake (but she will not share her cake with puppies) and thinks praying mantids make everything better. She lives with her family and assorted animals in the Midwest, where she is currently working on her next book and trying to learn to play the ukulele.
To learn more about Leslie, visit her online at: http://www.leslielangtry.com
* * * * *
BOOKS BY LESLIE LANGTRY
Merry Wrath Mysteries
Merit Badge Murder
Mint Cookie Murder
Scout Camp Murder (short story in the Killer Beach Reads collection)
Marshmallow S'More Murder
Movie Night Murder
Mud Run Murder
Fishing Badge Murder (short story in the Pushing Up Daisies collection)
Motto for Murder
Map Skills Murder
Mean Girl Murder
Marriage Vow Murder
Mystery Night Murder
Meerkats and Murder
Make Believe Murder
Maltese Vulture Murder
Musket Ball Murder
Macho Man Murder
Mad Money Murder
Aloha Lagoon Mysteries:
Ukulele Murder
Ukulele Deadly
Greatest Hits Mysteries:
'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy
Guns Will Keep Us Together
Stand By Your Hitman
I Shot You Babe
Paradise By The Rifle Sights
Snuff the Magic Dragon
My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen
Greatest Hits Mysteries Holiday Bundle
Other Works:
Sex, Lies, & Family Vacations
* * * * *
SNEAK PEEK
of the first Greatest Hits Mystery:
'SCUSE ME WHILE I KILL THIS GUY
by
LESLIE LANGTRY
CHAPTER ONE
"On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero."
—Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
No one really liked family reunions. I got that. But when I listened to people complain about it 'round the water cooler, I couldn't help rolling my eyes. I mean really, try it when you come from a family of assassins. Kind of gives "avoiding Aunt Jean's potato salad" a whole new meaning.
That's right. Family of assassins. I came from a line of murderers dating back to ancient Greece. Mafia? Puhleeeese. Ninjas? Amateurs. Illuminati? How pedestrian. My ancestors had invented the garrote, ice pick, and arsenic. And Grandma Mary insisted that the wheel had actually been devised as a portable skull crusher. I'd tell you the names of some of our famous victims throughout history, but I'd had to sign a confidentiality clause in my own blood when I was five. So you'll just have to take my word for it.
I turned the engraved invitation over in my hands and sighed. I hate these things. We only held them once every five years, but for some reason, this time, the reunion was only a year after the last one. That meant someone in the family had been naughty. That meant one of my relatives was going to die.
As I stroked the creamy vellum paper, for a brief moment I thought about sending my regrets. But only for a moment. After all, it wasn't an option on the R.S.V.P. card. Unlike most family reunions with sack races, bad weather and crappy T-shirts, where to refuse to go only meant you weren't in the ridiculous all-family photo, to turn down this invitation was death. That's right. Death. Any blooded member of the family who didn't show was terminated.
Now, where had I put that goddamned pen? I rattled through the "everything" drawer, looking for the onyx pen with the family crest engraved in gold on the side. It may sound pretty calloused to throw a centuries-old family heirloom in with tampons, fishing hooks, batteries, and ten-year-old packs of gum, but I didn't exactly have the usual family sense o' pride.
I found it behind some broken cassette tapes and dusted it off. The coat-of-arms practically glowed on the cold, ebony surface. Crossed sabers entwined with an asp and topped off with a vial of poison. Lovely. Really sent that warm, homemade chicken-soup kind of feeling. And don't forget the family motto, carved in Greek on the side which translates as, Kill with no mercy, love with suspicion. Not exactly embroider-on-the-pillow material.
The phone rang, causing me to jump. That's right. I was a jumpy assassin.
"Ginny?" My mom's voice betrayed her urgency.
"Hey, Mom. I got it," I responded wearily. Carolina Bombay was always convinced I would someday skip the reunion.
"Don't use that tone with me, Virginia." Her voice was dead serious. "I just wanted to make sure."
"Right. Like I'd miss this and run the risk of having my own mother hunt me down." For some reason, this would be a joke
