“Grandma Aileen,” she said, keeping her voice light despite the ache in her heart. “Would you like some more tea?”
Her grandmother picked up the teacup with trembling hands and peered into it. “I’ve already got tea. Quite a bit,” she said. “Quite a bit.”
“It’s cold, I’m sure. I’ll bring you a fresh cup.”
The visiting room at the nursing home was as cozy as Mina could ever hope, but it still wasn’t Grandma Aileen’s old house. They’d had to sell it to make ends meet when she went into the home, and Mina missed the house almost as much as she missed the old Grandma Aileen. The one who’d been able to bake with her, and laugh with her—almost a co-conspirator, despite the difference in their ages. Despite all the hurt that life had dealt them. All of that had fallen away at the dinner table with Aileen.
Mina went across to the coffee station with her head held high. She was not going to let any of this show. Not to Aileen, and not to the staff at the home. They were all doing the best they could.
Still, she wasn’t surprised when a light hand came down on her shoulder. “How are you doing, honey?”
Bridget was one of the best nurses at Sunnyside. Most days, when Mina came in to visit Grandma Aileen, she found Bridget sitting with the residents and laughing with them as heartily as anyone ever had. She somehow managed to fit in these conversations along with doing the work of three people and without ever seeming to get tired. Her face held real concern for Mina. And she’d tried so hard to hide her troubles.
“I’m worried about her,” admitted Mina while she poured hot water over a new tea bag and stirred in two spoonfuls of sugar. “It’s like she’s not really there anymore. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.”
Bridget nodded. “She’s been having some good days where she’s really happy and cheerful, especially in the mornings. We’re getting on toward evening now. That affects things.”
Mina understood, but it didn’t undo the knot at the center of her chest. “I’ll come earlier next time. I was going to come on Thursday, but I had appointments all day.” She added a bit of milk to bring the tea to the right temperature and looked Bridget in the eye. “You can call me any time. I hope you know that. I don’t want you to think I’d just…hand her off.”
“I would never.” Bridget patted her arm. “But you’ve got to live your life. You can’t spend every spare moment here with her. I promise you, I’m good company.” She gave Mina a broad smile. “You’re doing great, honey. Keep it up.”
Mina took the tea back to the table. Aileen blinked up at her, cocking her head to the side. “Thank you, dear,” she said. She looked down into the teacup and her face lit up with delight. “How’d you know how I take my tea?”
“How did I know?” Mina slid into the seat beside her. “Oh, Grandma, I’ve always known how you take your tea.”
This earned her another blank look from Aileen, along with a husky laugh. “Grandma. I suppose you can call me that, but you know, dear, I don’t have any grandchildren.”
Mina’s heart shattered in her chest all over again. She kept the smile on her face even as the pain arced up into her throat and tears burned the corners of her eyes. Aileen sipped her tea. “Mmm. It’s good. Just how I like it.”
She resolved to just enjoy the conversation. That was all she could do. Even if Aileen recognized her less and less, she could still be there for her. There wasn’t anybody else. The weight of this sat heavily across Mina’s shoulders, bearing down on her chest. When she had her own baby, she would have a family again. An anchor in the world. Maybe, if Grandma Aileen felt well enough, she could bring the baby to meet her. Surely some part of her would recognize her great-grandchild.
Mina talked to her grandmother about the high school choir, which had come to sing to the residents that morning, until Bridget came around to serve dinner. Ham and scalloped potatoes. One of Aileen’s favorites. Bridget served Mina her own plate so she could keep her grandmother company while she ate. Mina unfolded the paper napkin into her lap and reached to help Aileen with her own.
“Oh, scalloped potatoes.” Aileen closed her eyes and tipped her head back, a smile on her face. “I love scalloped potatoes. Remember when you graduated college, and we were up all night making them for the party?”
Mina’s entire soul lit up with gratefulness, but she tried not to make a big deal of the revelation. “Of course I do! How could I forget?” She reached for Aileen’s hand and took it in hers. “We snuck bites all night and swore we’d never eat it again after that. But here we are.”
“Here we are.” Aileen’s blue eyes, the same shade as Mina’s, twinkled with the memory. Remember, remember, thought Mina. But it wasn’t a mantra for Aileen. It was for herself. She had to remember these moments for when things got harder. And they always got harder. But she could handle it. “How’ve you been, my dear?”
“I’ve been so good.” The words tumbled from Mina’s mouth before she could stop them. Seize the moment. That was all she could do. “I have some amazing news. I’m going to be a mother.”
Aileen’s eyes went wide. “You’re expecting?”
“Not yet.” The clock ticked loud in Mina’s ears. These moments were fleeting. So fleeting. She never knew when Grandma Aileen might stop knowing who she was. “But next week, hopefully. I’m working with some doctors
