She let a moment pass. How was it she felt even more vulnerable than she had when she was with Levi? “I know. I’ve tried to move on. I don’t seem to be able to.”
His hands moved as if he wanted to touch her, but he seemed to rethink the idea. “So maybe we should go about this another way. Maybe we should take this time and do what we didn’t do before. Talk. Try to find a way to get through this. I’m sorry I said what I did about you and Levi. It still hurts and I’m lashing out. All I know is when I thought you were in danger, I knew I couldn’t sit on my hands and let it happen. I can’t do it now either. Let me come with you. Let me help fix this.”
No. It was the only word she should say to him, and then she should turn and walk out and never look back. If she let him in, he would hurt her no matter how good his intentions were. Beck had always had a well of rage inside him that he wouldn’t deal with, wouldn’t acknowledge even existed. He hadn’t changed.
“Okay.” She hadn’t changed either. She was still helpless when it came to this man. She was still in love with him and likely always would be.
He let go of a heavy breath. “Good.” He was silent for a moment, looking her over. “Did he hurt you? Are your wrists okay?”
She’d managed to get what was left of the zip ties off in the car. She had some red marks on her wrists. “They’re sore, but all right. He didn’t slap me around this time.”
She watched as Beck’s hands formed fists and wished she hadn’t said that. His rage was always simmering under the surface when she was around.
He seemed to let it go. “All right. We should get on the road. Can you grab some water and protein bars? I don’t know what we’ll find when we get to Paris.”
She kind of thought she did know. She’d done a lot of homework on Big Tag, and if Rene was who she thought he was, then Beck would feel right at home.
Still, she grabbed the water bottles and bars and stuffed them in the duffel Steph had provided for her. There were a couple of T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants that would likely be too short, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
This was all she had in the world. It was odd. She would have said possessions were meaningless, but now that she had no access to any of the things that brought her comfort, she missed them with all her heart.
She had one thing. She reached up and found some peace knowing her ring was still there. All these years and she still had her wedding ring. It hung low around her neck, and she always hid it under her shirt when Beck was around.
It was all she had left of her marriage.
“You ready?” Beck fitted a cap to his head and passed her another. “You might want to put your hair up. I know if I was looking for you, all that hair would be the first thing to catch my eye.”
How many nights had he tangled his fingers in her hair and gently tugged, had he told her how beautiful it was and that he never wanted her to cut it? “Yeah. I’m ready.”
He stepped in front of her and placed the cap on her head, his gorgeous eyes staring down at her. “I really am sorry I said what I did. Can you forgive me?”
Her whole soul threatened to melt. She nodded.
“Can I hug you? I want to. I want to reassure myself that you’re really okay.”
She nodded again and then she was in his arms for the first time in years.
“Promise me he didn’t get a chance to hurt you,” Beck whispered.
He sounded like he actually cared. His arms around her made her feel safer than she had in forever. “He threatened me with a bunch of stuff, but I don’t want to talk about it. I will, but not now.”
“Okay.”
They stood there for the longest time, the sound of his heartbeat the only thing she could hear.
* * * *
Ezra glanced around the club and sighed. He should have known. “It’s a BDSM club.”
Of course Big Tag would send them here. There was no sign outside the building, but he’d noted the discreet placard in the lobby. Le Collier de Velours.
French wasn’t his best language, but he was pretty sure that translated to The Velvet Collar.
Yep. It was Big Tag’s world, and everyone else just played in it.
“You’ll only be here for a few days,” Rene said as he gestured them through. “Tag is going to move you to Dallas as soon as possible. The only reason you’re here now is the fact that Tag’s got business in Europe. He’ll be here in the morning.”
“I thought Charlotte had a baby recently. He’s leaving her alone?” That didn’t sound like Big Tag. He could be a sarcastic son of a bitch, but he was a good husband and father.
A brilliant smile came over Kim’s face. “Did they find her? Is that why he’s coming?”
“Find her?” He tried not to think about how that smile warmed his whole body, and it wasn’t merely about the fact that she was still the sexiest woman he’d ever seen. When she smiled like that, the world felt right.
“Big Tag and Charlotte have been searching for a girl named Natasha Federova,” Kim explained, looking more animated than she had in hours. She’d spent the long car ride mostly silent, staring out the window even when they made the crossing under the English Channel. “The second company has been working pretty much nonstop to try to figure out who Sasha was.”
He wasn’t sure how the founding members of Miles-Dean, Weston and Murdoch would feel about being called a second team. The former
