“Him?”
“One of the men.” Then hereyes went to another man. “Him too.” Then, she saw the same faceeverywhere. Dark skinned, dark hair and staring at her with thoseblack, soulless eyes. In fact everyone was staring at her. Itseemed as if things were spinning around her. She buried her facein her hands unable to look at anyone anymore. Suddenly she feltblackness close in around her. She was close tofainting.
Ryan spun around and sawnothing. No one looked the least bit threatening. He would know. Heturned back to her. Shit, she was hallucinating. Jesus, what thefuck did they do to her? “Stop. Look at me Katya. Look at me. ” Hegrabbed her by her good arm and made her face him. She wastrembling under his grip. She lifted her head and slowly raised hereyes to meet his. There was definite terror in them. He kept hisgaze steady on hers. “Good, now take a deep breath. You are havinga panic attack. That’s all this is. Deep breath.” Her eyes werestill wide with terror. Finally he cupped her face and made himlook at him. “Deep breath,” he repeated again.
“Th-they’rehere.”
“No one ishere.”
“I saw—”
“It’s your mind playingtricks on you. Be strong and rationalize this. I could spot athreat a mile away. There’s no one here even looking at you exceptme. Now, again, deep breath.”
She nodded and inhaledunsteadily. She was hyperventilating and had difficulty calmingherself.
“Take your time and takeanother breath, and don’t take your eyes off of me.”
Her ears were ringing fromfear, but his voice was deep and soothing. She did exactly as hesaid.
“Better?”
She nodded. “I—I thinkso.”
“Now look aroundagain.”
“I—I can’t. They’reeverywhere,” she stammered.
“No, it’s in your head.Don’t let it control you. Look around.” He released her and steppedback.
Slowly she turned andlooked at the crowd. The one dark skinned man was retrieving hisson from a crude rendition of a sand castle and swinging him up inthe air laughing. It wasn’t the man she thought. Everyone else wascarrying on with their enjoyment of the nice hot day. No one waslooking at her, and no one seemed to even know she existed. “Ithought I saw—“
“Like I said, it’s in yourmind.”
“It felt like everyone waswatching me. It seemed so real.”
“It always doesKatya.”
She felt a tear escape andrun down her cheek. She roughly wiped it off with the palm of herhand. She didn’t like feeling like this. She didn’t even seem incontrol of her own mind. “I didn’t realize it was so bad. I thoughtI had a handle on it when I left the hospital. I never had thesehallucinations before.” She couldn’t possibly imagine what wouldhave happened if he hadn’t insisted on coming along. She was beingtoo damn stubborn too soon.
“That’s why you need totalk about it. Post-traumatic stress does not go away over time. Itgets worse and then there comes the reoccurring difficulty ofseparating the hallucinations from reality.”
She looked away to thehorizon. “I don’t trust that psychiatrist, and I don’t trust myfather. I know he’ll tell him everything.”
“If you want, I can findsomeone who you can talk to.”
She faced him again. “I cantalk to you.”
“Katya, I can’t dothat.”
“Why?”
“It crosses certainlines.”
“What lines? You’re mybodyguard and I’m supposed to trust you enough to save mylife.”
“Personal lines,” heelaborated trying his best to keep his expressionprofessional.
“Oh please. I was practically naked inyour arms last night. I think we’ve crossed that boundary.” God,did she really say that without stuttering…or blushing? Well, whatdo you know, he was capable of surprise. It was subtle but there.Then he smiled. Be still my beatingheart. He was utterly gorgeous. There wasa mischievous sparkle in his eyes to go with it and she wasmomentarily captivated.
“Come, I’ll race you back.”He took off.
She felt herself grin andran after him.
He took it easy on her anddidn’t go more than fifty feet ahead. Maybe having a bodyguardwould be so bad after all.
CHAPTER THREE
She could say dinner washorrible, but it was way worse than that. Katya knew she had to bethere because her father would insist on it. She had no fight leftin her after today. Thankfully it started out just fine for her.Hardly a word was spoken and she refused to even acknowledgeanything her father said. He sat at the head of the table. Ivan satto his right and she on his left. Beside her sat Ryan. At the otherend of the table sat her father’s twenty-something girlfriend,Porsha. He had several, and always had since her mother died, butit was something she grew up with so she never noticed it as odd.Her father liked women, that was no secret. Problem was, they weregetting younger and younger, and that alone disgusted her. Porshawas only a few years older than herself, and she had yet to takeher eyes off of Ryan. She spared him a few inviting glances, and heseemed not to even notice the attraction. Well, she should knowbetter by now. He didn’t pay attention to things like that. Afterall, he wasn’t a shallow man. Still, Katya found it very annoyingand distracting. If anyone else noticed, nothing was said. This wasnot a normal family after all. The more she was around them, themore she despised it. She also now appreciated the fact she wasn’traised there in such chaos.
Except for their final twoyears of high school, her and her sister came home for holidays,and special occasions, but that was it. That’s why she knew nothingabout what her father did to gain his wealth. She felt ashamed andguilty about the whole thing. Maybe she was just purposely ignoringthe coming and going of men who looked like they belonged in a jailcell, not an expensive suit, like Ivan. Even now, like every otherfamily dinner, there were up to half a dozen men sitting at thetable that she wasn’t related to. She never thought it was odduntil now. Most people have family, but these men, most of themshe’d known since she could remember, were always at the table.
