Her bravado vanished when she reached the core issue. Here it was at last, the confrontation that had been thirty years in the making.
“I...I never thought about it.”
“That’s right. You’ve never given me a second thought.”
Oh damn. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.
Her father shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and she had a feeling it wasn’t just because the darned sofa was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture under creation.
“You know what, Father? Not one time in my entire life have you ever told me that you loved me.”
Crap! Her nose was staring to burn, and her eyes filled with unshed tears.
“Do you love me, Father?”
He cleared his throat. “I do.”
“Do you? Do you really?”
He clenched his jaw. “I don’t understand the point of this conversation.”
“And there lies the problem. Why did you leave Gracie when I was sick with scarlet fever? Couldn’t you have at least waited until I was well?”
He didn’t meet her steadfast gaze; instead, he toyed with the hem of his dressing gown. Imagine. What kind of man wore a dressing gown?
“I suppose you have a right to know,” he said after an endless pause. “I had a wife before your mother.”
That came out of left field. Janet pulled herself up straight. “Go on.”
“Lillian was my college sweetheart. I loved her with every breath in my body.” He was gripping the arm of the sofa as if it were a life raft on the Titanic. “We had a son. Benjy. He was the light of my life.”
Shocked, Janet could only stare. “I have a brother?” She felt numb. Her father had had a whole other family. His genuine family. The one that he’d loved.
“Had. Benjy died in a car accident with his mother when he was five.”
Janet sucked in her breath. “How awful.”
“Yes.”
Silence descended. Well, that explained a few things.
“You know that your mother was my secretary. After the car accident, I was so grief stricken I could barely function. Your mother took care of everything. And she comforted me in my time of distress. Comforted me sexually.”
Okay. A little more information than she needed.
“She got pregnant with you. I married Gracie because she was a kind woman and it was my duty to take care of the two of you. But I never loved her. I couldn’t make myself love her.”
“Or me.”
He nodded. “Every time I looked at you, I wondered why you were here, and Benjy was not.”
Oh, oh, it hurt so much, but she’d asked for the truth. She needed to hear what he had to say despite the ice picks jamming their way through her heart.
“Then you got sick. I simply couldn’t tolerate the thought of losing another child. I divorced Gracie and distanced myself from you.”
“So you abandoned me before I could abandon you the way Benjy did.”
“Don’t you think I’ve castigated myself for my behavior? Don’t you think I know that I was wrong?”
“No, Father, I don’t know that. All I ever wanted was for you to love me.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you needed,” he said with an exhausted sigh. He looked ancient at the moment, drained of energy.
She felt sorry for him. For all the things he’d missed out on. And she felt something else. Understanding, and a calm sense of peace. Niles might never love her fully, but that was okay. She had Gracie, a kooky but loving mother. She had Lacy and CeeCee, the two best friends a girl could ever ask for.
And Gage?
A handsome, wealthy doctor with a fabulous sense of humor. A man who cared deeply for her and showed his feelings in everything he did. A man who shared her passion for medicine. A man with an incredible smile and the patience of Job.
Did he love her as she loved him?
And in that instant, Janet knew it was true. All this time she’d been so wrong, thinking that romantic love was a fairy tale. It did exist.
For she’d seen it simmering in the depths of Gage Gregory’s dark eyes.
“Janet!” Peter boomed at her from the doctors’ lounge early the next morning.
She turned to find her boss standing in the hallway behind her, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Peter, good morning.” She forced a smile.
“Is it good, Janet, really? You don’t have to put on a cheerful face for my benefit.”
“Er...” She wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “Okay.”
He moved toward her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Gage called me last night. He told me everything.”
Everything? What did that entail? “He did?”
Dr. Jackson nodded. “I understand that you two are having problems with your relationship because of the stress of working together.”
“He told you that?”
“He also tendered his resignation. Effective immediately. He won’t be in today.”
“No!”
“I hate losing him, but I understand completely. A great romance only comes along once in a lifetime. A man can’t turn his back on love.”
“Gage said that?” She felt all trembly and gooey inside.
“Yes. It’s a grand gesture. He must love you very much to sacrifice his career for you. Most men wouldn’t.”
Gage had given up his job for her?
“He can’t quit,” she said. “This job means everything to him. I’m the one who’s leaving.”
“But he said the same thing of you. That your work is your life.”
She loved her job, yes, and the doctors at the Blanton Street Group were a wonderful bunch of physicians. But she’d struggled to attain this position simply to impress her father. Now there was something more important in her life, and she wasn’t about to let him get away.
“If you’ll excuse me, Peter,” she said. “I’ve got to make a phone call.”
