Bill picked her up at seven and was unusually shy and respectful to her parents, who had been surprised when she’d told them Bill had asked her out. She felt a rush of pleasure walking into Talayna’s with him—the crowd was older, with many students from nearby Washington University. Bill had two beers before their dinner arrived. The waiter hadn’t even carded him. She sipped her Coke, realizing that the white sundress and delicate sandals she wore were too prissy for this crowd.
It was 8:30 by the time Bill headed his old yellow Chevy Nova into the park. Through the open windows Kate smelled freshly cut grass in the humid evening air. On the radio, the Everly Brothers’ “Bye Bye Love” played.
Instead of heading toward the Muny, Bill swung the car up towards the Art Museum. He parked in a tree-lined circle atop the steep hill that sloped down to the lake, quiet and luminous, the dusk filled with the hum of cicadas.
“We used to come sleigh-riding here when we were kids,” Kate whispered, trying to make conversation. He didn’t seem to have heard what she said, for he sat slumped against the window, half turned away from her.
“Are you cold?” he asked suddenly.
She laughed. “Cold? It’s August—how could I be cold?”
Suddenly he pulled her toward him. The first kiss was very gentle—perfect. His lips were soft and full and he smelled of Old Spice. The next time he kissed her, she put her hands on his shoulders and was startled by their solidity. Their kisses became longer, more insistent. Her head flung back on the vinyl seat, Kate felt crushed beneath him.
At last he drew back. His voice seemed to come from far away. “We’d better head home, Katie. I guess I won’t be able to think of you as Dan’s little sister anymore.” She couldn’t read his expression in the darkness.
He walked her up to the porch of her house. Lights glowed through the screen door, and she knew her parents were sitting in the living room. She kissed him quickly, and shoved him gently toward the steps.
“You’d better go on—or my dad will be after you. He’s pretty suspicious about guys. He must have been terrible himself.” She was amazed at herself. Where had this new-found cocky assurance come from?
Bill nodded, tongue-tied, and walked slowly to his car, jingling his keys.
That first date was their last, for they had moved too fast. Kate was afraid—more of herself than of Bill. Although she didn’t even know Bill, much less love him, she’d been quite moved by his ardor, his groans and sighs breathed into her hair, his lips on her neck. And she, pierced by his kisses, had felt gates opening within her she hadn’t known were closed. That night, Kate felt, she had been under a spell, an enchantment.
But she shook it off, and gradually Bill stopped calling. But her memory of that night lingered, disturbing yet seductive. She returned to it often at odd moments.
C
hapter Ten
St. Thomas Aquinas Convent
Box 55
Chesterfield, Missouri
May 2, 1957
Dear Mary Katherine,
I am writing in response to your letter of application into the community and am most happy to tell you that your application has been accepted. We were only waiting to receive the two letters of reference. Both Monsignor FitzGibbons and Sister Helene wrote glowing letters of recommendation for you. The religious life is not for everyone, and it requires a great degree of maturity and dedication. All the sisters in the community will be praying for you and the twenty-seven other prospective postulants as you ready yourselves for the great step you will take at the end of the summer.
Your entrance day has been set for Saturday, August 29, between 1:00 and 3:00 p.m. Please come to the back entrance to the novitiate so that you may unload your things easily. Your family may accompany you that afternoon, but all farewells must be said by 3:00 p.m. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact Sister Mary Margaret, the mistress of postulants.
Finally, we ask that you bring one hundred dollars as your dowry on entrance day. This money is kept in trust for you the whole time you are in the community so that, if you ever leave religious life, you will have some money to begin your life in the world again. I have also enclosed a list of clothing and supplies you will need to bring.
God bless you, Mary Katherine. I am looking forward to getting to know my new spiritual daughters. As Jesus said to Mary, sitting at his feet, “You have chosen the better part.”
Yours in Christ,
Mother Marie Clare, O.P.
Clothing and Supplies
six white cotton undershirts
six pairs of white cotton underpants
eight pairs of black cotton stockings
two pairs of black nylon stockings
one dozen white linen handkerchiefs
one black sweater
two pairs of black lace-up oxford shoes
one pair of black gloves
two dozen cloth sanitary napkins (diapers)
two long white nightgowns
brush, comb, toothbrush
shampoo and toothpaste
hand lotion
stationery
Holmes House
Mizzou
Crazy Kate,
You will fall over dead to get a letter from me, your beloved brother, but I can’t believe what Mom just told me. She said you are going to be a nun! Kate, have you lost your mind? I thought you were happy to be long gone from the clutches of the nuns at Mercy this year and anxious to get out into the big bad world of college. Don’t get me wrong, Kate. I know there are decent nuns, and some of them even have a sense of humor. Remember the time I formed the Hate Sister Jean Marie Club? She showed up at our meeting in the McCarthy’s backyard with two six-packs of root beer and we almost died of embarrassment. Anyway, the point is I just have never thought of you in those terms. I always saw you as
